


Vulnerability

by SilkenFerocity



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-02 09:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 63,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17262047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilkenFerocity/pseuds/SilkenFerocity
Summary: This is meant to take place after ME2, before Arrival DLC or any events of ME3.  This is the farthest I stray from canon with the timeline.  It starts out pretty dang fluffy but I promise it gets somewhere different.Shepard's got more freedom than ever and is looking for a more solid purpose for her future.  A new enemy steps in and gives her the opportunity to face her will to fight and survive.  Garrus finds an unexpected ally who knows how to find Shepard.





	1. Volatility

**Author's Note:**

> Regarding the warnings: I put them just to be SUPER SAFE, but my goal is always to remain in a PG-13 level of content. In my opinion it's not incredibly graphic and any sexual stuff is only heavily implied, but better safe than sorry!
> 
> Notes about me: I try to stay pretty close to canon in most of my works. It's intended to just be extra dialogue that may have happened between everything we see in the canon stuff. My Shepard's pretty much pure Paragon and my Garrus is rather nurturing at times (which I think actually fits in what we know about him from canon pretty well, but I can defend that case some other time). This makes for really good fluffy conversations. :P

The Normandy's hangar bay was always quiet, except when it wasn't. One moment uninhabited and still, the next flooding with arid atmosphere from planetside as the shuttle buzzed and whirred its way in. Even as the bay door closed and the shuttle powered down, its occupants created a new clamor of debriefing and unequipping. Commander Shepard removed her helmet and went over her mental checklist. Thane and Garrus, who had accompanied her in combat were approaching the lockers. Mordin had picked them up in the shuttle and was standing by in case he was needed.

  
"Thane, before we leave orbit, will you double check our communication lines with this colony?" she asked.  
"Yes Commander," Thane replied dutifully, beginning to remove his own armor.  
"Have EDI help. I want to make sure they know how to reach us if needed," Shepard added.  
"Are we... sticking around long enough for them to contact us?" Garrus asked, stretching his neck and shoulders once out of the armor.  
"Probably not long," Shepard replied. "I don't anticipate much more trouble..."  
"Raid went well, then?" Mordin asked.

  
With the Collectors taken care of, Shepard and company had very little, almost zero, real assigned missions. Everyone had survived the suicide mission and performed well and Shepard had docked at the Citadel to give everyone a bit of R&R.  
However, it wasn't long before it was clear that Shepard was restless. She'd decided to take the Normandy back out to the Terminus Systems and do what she could to continue improving life for the colonists out there. Some of the crew had stayed on the Citadel, feeling drawn to other pursuits, but many had stayed.  
The Terminus Systems had no shortage of "busyness" for a crew as skilled as the Normandy team. It was usually gangs and slavers attempting to take advantage of newly forming areas when they were weak. Those portions of the colonies were usually easy prey, but the threat of being met with the infamous Commander Shepard was causing a lot of groups to think twice. Of course, they couldn't be everywhere, but word was spreading.  
This latest mission had been a raid on a well-established Blood Pack base that had previously refused to relocate. They'd gone in with a long range ambush and then rushed in with mines and ripped the place apart.

  
"Exceptionally," Shepard replied to Mordin proudly. "I would be very surprised if any Blood Pack members are sticking around after that."  
"Very good," Mordin approved with a nod.  
"Garrus, let me try out the Viper with those mods next mission," Shepard said, nodding in Garrus's direction with a grin. "You were especially efficient today." The two of them, having similar skillsets, swapped models and mods frequently, experimenting with all kinds of combinations.  
"I'll get it cleaned and in your locker, Shepard," Garrus replied cheerfully, then gave her a pointed look. "Are you headed to the med bay?" Shepard paused while putting the last of her gear away, tensing as if she were about to protest. She didn't look at Garrus, and Mordin looked between the two of them inquisitively.  
"...yes," Shepard finally resigned with a sigh. She reached up and tugged at the bun her hair was in, letting her strands of blonde hair hang loose. She tousled them a bit, rubbing at the back of her head. "Come by later?" she asked the turian.  
"Of course," he replied, his tone and expression now soft. "Have Thane escort you," he added. Shepard shrugged off his recommendation, but Thane was also headed that way anyway and gave an acknowledging nod to Garrus.

  
The relationship between Shepard and Garrus and its new levels of intimacy were no secret. They were fairly discreet, even after the Collector base, but it didn't matter, as many had recognized the affection in their eyes long before it was official. Occasionally they would be found in the lounge, sitting close with their heads together, but much more frequently one could pick up on the natural compatibility. They both valued the others opinions, respected each other, protected each other, and worked together seamlessly. It was clear to anyone who had spent time observing them, Shepard and Garrus were a match made in whatever paradise you believed in.   
Shepard and Thane entered the elevator and Garrus retrieved the Viper and his maintenance tools, gesturing for Mordin to accompany him at one of the workstations.

  
"Was she injured?" Mordin asked after the elevator doors closed. "Thought I noticed irregular pupil activity. Head trauma?"  
"I can almost guarantee it, and I'm not even a medic," Garrus grumbled, not looking up as he began to disassemble the sniper. "And for no good reason."  
"You've expressed concerns about her being reckless. Again?" the salarian inquired.  
"Yes."  
"What happened?"  
"We were just about to enter the compound. Multiple vorcha were bottlenecked in the entrance. I had an advantageous position and was sniping through their hall, around a corner ahead of her. I don't know why, but she decided to rush in before I had it cleared." Garrus's tone was getting sharper and his movements less delicate.  
"I couldn't shoot past her so I had to hold fire. She was doing well taking them out, but we couldn't see very far in. When she didn't fall back again, I left my position to catch up to her. They couldn't touch her, so she just kept taking them down... She made the rookiest mistake in the book, Mordin. She ran out of clips!"  
Mordin narrowed his eyes thoughtfully, but didn't yet speak, so Garrus continued, exasperated.  
"She was using low capacity weapons this time anyway, but still! Shepard doesn't lose awareness like that."

  
"How did she get injured?"  
"Another mistake," Garrus grumbled, now cleaning out the individual parts of the sniper. "She threw out an incinerate to create space as she started to fall back. The third and fourth vorcha in line were pyros. I could see the pyro packs clearly, Mordin. They weren't firing because of the two vorcha in front of them, but Shepard had no reason to miss that. In fact, it was almost like she saw it and fired the incinerate anyway..."  
"Caught in the blast?"  
"It tunneled toward both of us. She was thrown back into me and we both fell backwards, but the back of her helmet connected hard with one of the support pillars of the entrance." Garrus's hands suddenly became unsteady, and he set down the tools, leaning on the workstation and taking a deep breath. "Her helmet cracked. She lost consciousness. I carried her back to cover and had to wait for her to come to while Thane kept the numbers down. I convinced her to let us take point for the rest of the assault." He rubbed the back of his neck, fighting back his anxiousness, concern, and frustration.  
"It's getting worse," Mordin muttered, for once, short on words.

  
Garrus just nodded. He knew Shepard was taking more risks and being more careless. Obviously the Collector base assault had a high amount of risk, but it was calculated, necessary, and the stakes high enough to warrant it. The missions since then could easily be done methodically and smartly, but for whatever reason, each one had some kind of mishap. Previously it was simply having less than ideal weapons equipped, staying out of cover too long, or leaving her team's eye sights... nothing a little medigel couldn't patch up. This time was different.  
Tali, Thane, Samara, Jacob, and Mordin had all noticed. At first Garrus had shrugged it off just as Shepard did. Things happen... Then he realized it was recurring and he went so far as to bring it up with Shepard, gently asking if she was getting enough sleep or feeling well. She insisted she was fine, but the other squad members were pushing Garrus to get more answers.

  
"What am I supposed to do, Mordin? How do I figure out what's throwing her off?" he asked after a long silence.  
"The right questions. At the right time. Even then, she may deflect. A possibility... she may be struggling with her perspective of life," Mordin offered, crossing his arms and tapping at his chin. Garrus looked up, brow plates furrowing, and the salarian continued.  
"All creatures wonder, 'what is the purpose of life?' Shepard was spaced. Lost her life. Brought back, but old life gone. Had to make new one. Being brought back from the dead alone could skew one's views." Mordin turned and began pacing, and Garrus began reassembling the rifle, listening intently but needing something to do with his hands.  
"Gained lots of comrades. Lots of purpose. The fight against the Collectors was a war with great stakes, even if the Normandy was the only one fighting it. Now... more freedom. More flexibility. But less direction, less purpose. More volatility. Once again must find the purpose of life. Shepard is brilliant and wonderful and capable of being independent, but she is used to living her life under someone else's instruction, whether it be the Alliance, the Council, or the Illusive Man. It is where she thrives. With no one giving her instruction on a regular basis, she must make new decisions."

  
"She's not a mindless follower, Mordin," Garrus pointed out.  
"No. You miss my point," Mordin scolded. "She is brilliant because she knows who and how to follow, while also being one of the greatest leaders who ever lived. What does her life look like without that dynamic? She doesn't yet know. This freedom is an opportunity for her to find out."  
"So why does she put herself in dangerous situations?" Garrus asked, staring at Mordin.  
"She must decide what her life gets to be like. Stretching the boundaries of life is a common, but unproductive tactic for many in the midst of a major life change or crisis."  
"Crisis?" Garrus repeated, his mandibles flaring. "You think she's in a crisis? Isn't that a little strong?" Mordin shrugged, shaking his head.  
"Not a mind reader. This is all speculation. She may feel undeserving of her second chance at life now that one of her main purposes is complete. Making choices for her life, for herself, is intimidating. Think of yourself, a turian, branching out from the traditional military roles so deeply entrenched in your culture," Mordin said, gesturing towards Garrus. "Was that not intimidating?"  
"It was," Garrus acknowledged, beginning to understand. He put the last pieces of the rifle back together and stared down at it.  
"As I said, speculation," Mordin continued. "The brain is a complex thing. She has began self-sabotaging for one reason or another. There are infinite possibilities, but these scenarios are probable from the most easily observed factors."

  
"I'll think about that and see if I can't get her to open up some more," Garrus said thoughtfully. Mordin nodded.  
"Very well. Keep me informed. It is good for all of us to support her as much as possible at this time."  
Mordin excused himself and Garrus went to go place the Viper in Shepard's locker, ready to go for their next encounter. He placed it down carefully, then noticed her helmet. He picked it up and began inspecting the large crack on the back. She would be stuck using other models until this one was replaced. He ran his fingers over the rift, something Mordin said sending him into a memory from their reprieve on the Citadel...

 

Much of the crew had gravitated to Requiem, a hotel that was not luxurious enough to give them shellshock, but definitely far outside of what they were used to. Rooms were well accommodated and there were many amenities such as a lounge, pool, gym, spa, etc.  
Garrus had been about to book a modest room for himself, not wanting to presume anything about his relationship with Shepard at that point, but she stopped him at the last minute at the front desk.  
"That won't be necessary," she had said, her expression a mix of a smirk and a grin, and her complexion turning pink. Garrus didn't need a second invitation.

  
The next morning he had ordered them both breakfast through room service and brought it to the bed before Shepard had even woken up. He had barely begun eating his own food when he suddenly realized her watching him, smiling.  
"You know, I didn't think it was possible to be so content that I would fall asleep and wake up smiling," Shepard had remarked, rolling onto her back and stretching.  
"There was a time I never thought I'd be having breakfast in bed with Commander Shepard," Garrus replied, his subharmonics rumbling like a purr in his chest. As Shepard sat up he passed her the tray of human food. "I just guessed what you might like," he admitted. "I'm not even sure what some of that is, but it's not space food, so that's good, right?"  
"Absolutely," Shepard said enthusiastically. "You did good."

  
They ate in a comfortable silence for a while, then Shepard stared at Garrus and giggled.  
"What?" he asked, staring back.  
"This is so... domestic," Shepard commented, appearing amused. "I know we're on vacation, but it feels like, aside from the scars, an outsider may not be able to tell we're soldiers anymore."  
"It is a rather unusual setting for us to be in," Garrus agreed, looking around the room at all the soft colors and light. There were even real plants in the room.  
"Do you ever think about life after war?" Shepard asked, her tone and expression suddenly more solemn. Garrus was beginning to realize what was on her mind.  
"For turians, military and domestic life are both always major parts of our life. Our culture is militaristic even for those not directly enlisted. Humans view it differently, don't they?" he asked gently.  
"Yes," Shepard nodded. "A lot of the time, when someone has a military career, they're seen as incapable of thriving domestically. That's why my parents only had one child. Those who have careers more favorable to families often never think of enlisting. It's a different world completely."

  
"Your whole life has been the Alliance. Do people view you as incapable of settling down?"  
"Many have said so to my face. That I couldn't even if I wanted to." Shepard stuffed the last bite in her mouth, as if doing so defiantly. Garrus was thoughtful for a moment, finishing off a drink of water and then setting his tray on the bedside table.  
"I think you could do anything you wanted to," he said quietly, but earnestly, looking down at his hands as he rubbed them together.  
"I appreciate the confidence, but I don't know if I'll ever even get the chance to find out," Shepard admitted, setting her own tray aside as well and leaning back against the headboard. "This break right now is temporary. Sooner or later the Reapers will be here. I can't retire and have a family with that threat in the future, and who knows if I'll survive or what the galaxy will even look like after that war... Right now might be the most domestic my life ever gets to be."  
Garrus felt his heart ache for her. Her time as a soldier didn't have to be a life sentence, but her personal war with the Reapers may as well be.

  
"Do you crave a domestic life?" he asked gently, studying her features.  
"I honestly don't know," she replied. "I wonder sometimes. Daydream. I imagine what would've happened if I'd been brought back to life but lost my memory, or my skills. I'd be useless to Cerberus and probably just set loose to live my own life. Who knows what I would've done?"  
"You still could," Garrus said, but anticipated her protest. He placed a hand overs hers and she began running her fingers along it as she talked.  
"As long as the Reapers are out there and I'm fit for duty, there's no other options for me... and I promise, I don't detest that. I know I'm a powerful force. I'm happy to use my skills in defense of the galaxy. If I'm really, really lucky... maybe someday I'll get a chance to learn domestic skills, too."  
Garrus was quiet and Shepard suddenly looked at him.  
"Do you have dreams of settling down?" she asked. He thought for a moment, unsure how best to answer. Then he shifted his weight, scooting himself closer to her side.  
"There's a part of me that knows how to take care of others that I think could do well in a family setting," he admitted casually. "It's part of what helps me take such good care of you."  
"I'm aware of that," Shepard replied. "You help prep my gear and make sure I'm getting enough to sleep and eat... I guess maybe you've always been domestic and I'm just now realizing it," she said with a laugh. Garrus smiled, proud that his efforts were appreciated. He reached up and ran a hand through her hair, something he could never resist when it was loose like this.

  
"Would you leave the soldier life for domestic life? If you had to choose?" Shepard asked, her tone serious.  
"My place is with you," Garrus replied without missing a beat. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers, and her cheeks grew pink at the certainty of his reply. "As long as you need me. Whether that's on the battlefield or for the rare domestic moments like this."  
Shepard didn't reply, simply smiled and kissed his cheek. They didn't leave the room until much later in the day.

  
  
It had only been a few days before Shepard was eager to leave the Citadel, claiming she couldn't sit around waiting for something useful to do to come along, she needed to go find it. That had been months ago.  
Now, in the armory, Garrus found a different helmet model he knew Shepard had used frequently and put it in her locker. He took the cracked one with him so he could reference the model number when he placed an order with requisitions, and made his way to the elevator, determined to figure out a solution for his Commander, his partner, and his best friend.  
  
*****  
  
Up in the captain's cabin, Shepard was lying on her back on her couch, the lights dimmed and eyes closed. She'd already showered the mission off and now that she wasn't doing anything else, the pain in her head was much more noticeable. She hadn't realized before how loud the humming from her aquarium was...  
She didn't know how much time had passed when she heard the door slide open.  
"Garrus?" she asked, not moving.  
"It's me, Shepard," the turian replied. He walked over and sat down on the couch near her head. "Did Chakwas give you a verdict?" he asked.  
Shepard opened one eye to look at him, seeing the concern on his face that he was trying to be casual about. She scooted herself up and turned onto her side, resting her head on his leg and once again appreciating the uniqueness of turian fabrics. The texture was very unlike any human products.  
"She believes it's a mild concussion. I'm to lay around for the next few days and then she recommends no missions for a week after that," she grumbled. "She'll be monitoring my condition."

  
"How are you feeling?" he asked, brushing back her hair gently.  
"My head hurts pretty bad. She gave me some meds but said it's better if I wait for the first 24 hours to pass before taking any." Shepard closed her eyes again, relaxing under Garrus's touch.  
"We've been rather active lately. Some downtime might be good for all of us," he commented.  
"Am I working you too hard, big guy?" Shepard teased, smirking and looking at him with one open eye again. Garrus chuckled.  
"You've kept me on my toes, as the human saying goes... but I promise I'm not burning out," he assured her. "Earlier today I was just thinking about when we took that time off on the Citadel before coming back out here."  
"What about it?" Shepard asked curiously.

  
"Well, it's been a while, and it's true that we don't know how much unstructured time we'll have out here..." Garrus began, looking at her hair as it shifted to avoid meeting her eyes. "I was thinking it might be nice to spend more time seeing new places like that and treating ourselves to a bit of the cushy lifestyle while we still can. If you're on mandatory rest, isn't that a good opportunity? You seemed to like letting me spoil you last time..." He grinned at her now.  
"You should know Chakwas said I can't do that kind of activity for the next few days either," Shepard said with a laugh.  
"Well, after a few days then."  
"Hmm..." Shepard wasn't convinced yet, but did smile as she thought of their last reprieve.  
"Maybe we could visit Illium this time. Liara might have some good recommendations from when she spent time there," Garrus added hopefully.

  
"Alright, alright," Shepard resigned with a smile. "We'll stay here for a few days while I'm stuck in bed and make sure we don't hear anything from the colonies. After that, we'll take some shore leave on Illium." She reached up and patted the side of his face, as if congratulating him on persuading her. Garrus chuckled, twitching his mandibles in reflex.  
After a moment of comfortable silence, he asked, "Would you like me to let you get some rest?"  
"You know I sleep better when you're here," Shepard replied softly, resting her hand on his leg under her head.  
"Mmm. I didn't want to presume," Garrus explained. Shepard snickered.  
"You tend to hold back like that a lot. I think it's safe for you to start presuming," she said. Garrus paused for a moment, considering her words.  
"...well, alright then. I'll keep that in mind."


	2. Luster

Unlike the retreat after the Collector Base, most of the crew went to pursue individual adventures when the Normandy docked in Saefos Valley, a city slightly more relaxed than Illium's capital. If Nos Astra represented business, Saefos represented pleasure. Liara had warned Shepard about the nightlife in some parts of town, but assured her it was worth the experience and nothing they couldn't handle.  
Shepard and Garrus had booked a room at Luster of Trelirae, a moderately-sized sophisticated resort just outside the main hub of all the action. When Shepard stepped into their room and turned on the light, she couldn't help staring.  
"Wow. I'm glad I wasn't here a few days ago," she said as she took it all in. There were two large beds, a balcony, and a couple exotic looking plants she had never seen before. The room was mostly creams and soft pinks and lavenders, but every solid piece of furniture- a desk with a terminal, a wardrobe, the balcony railing, the bathroom vanity- had a pearlescent sheen.

  
"Do you not like it?" Garrus asked as he followed her. He hefted both of their bags that he had insisted on carrying, not that there was much.  
"Oh, it's beautiful. But it might be a bit much if I still had a headache."  
The few days following Shepard's injury, she'd had no problem obeying Chakwas and staying put. Her head got worse before it got better. Garrus had spent a lot of time simply sitting in the cabin with her, wishing there was more he could do to help.  
On the third day Shepard was suddenly up and about, visiting the crew and in good spirits. When that day passed without any distress calls from the colonies, they had left for Illium, but Shepard was still under strict orders to not move too quickly and be gentle with herself.

  
"Ah," Garrus said in understanding. "It's kind of metallic. It almost reminds me of Palaven," he realized, setting their bags down and closing the door behind him.  
"Hey, we should go to Palaven sometime. I'm surprised we didn't think of that before," Shepard replied, turning to look at him before sitting herself on one of the beds.  
"Palaven isn't exactly known for tourist locations... but there's a few nice spots that would have human food," he said thoughtfully. "We'll put that on the list."  
"Oh my gosh, how do they get this blanket so soft?!" Shepard suddenly exclaimed, laying down on the plush comforter and burying her face in it. "I forget how soft things that don't have to withstand bullets are." Garrus chuckled at her reaction but then got a puzzled expression.  
"Is that the kind of blanket that's going to fall apart if a turian, say, rolls around on it?" he asked. After realizing how easy it was for turian skin to scrape human skin and fabrics (Shepard had replaced her sheets 3 times since their relationship began) he had learned to be careful.  
"Don't worry, I told them my boyfriend is a turian," Shepard said, grinning at him but still snuggling the comforter. "Check the other bed." Garrus did as told and inspected the other bed, letting out a satisfied grunt.

  
"This is high quality stuff," he commented, surveying the top and bottom layers. Shepard finally left her bed and crawled all the way into the other to form her own opinions.  
"Turian fabric is so interesting to me, too. It's not the softest, but it doesn't feel rough and it's definitely durable. Do they make human clothes in whatever this is?" she asked.  
"I think it's tulus. It's actually from an aquatic plant on Palaven. And I honestly have no idea if there's human clothes made out of it," Garrus replied, sliding himself onto the bed next to her and scooting close as he laid the blanket over them. "But I'll find out," he offered happily.  
"Definitely do," Shepard encouraged with a grin, getting herself comfortable. "So, what all are we planning to do tonight?"  
"Well..." Garrus took in a deep breath thoughtfully. "Tonight we could probably just take it easy, but... I do have an idea for tomorrow."  
"Oh?"  
"Yeah, uh..." he paused and cleared his throat, looking down at the blanket and rubbing his hands over it. "Do you remember when you went on that heist mission for Kasumi's gray box? Just the two of you?"  
"Yes. What about it?" Shepard asked.

  
"Well, I remember catching sight of you guys heading to the shuttle before you left. I had been down there sparring and keeping active with Grunt. You had on this dress..." he drifted off and Shepard suddenly sat up straight, grinning, realizing where he was going.  
"Hold on. I'm very curious about this. Tell me everything that went through your mind that you remember," she said eagerly and snickering.  
"Oh I remember everything that went through my mind," Garrus replied, then chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Shepard just leaned in closer, watching his face and grinning even more as she waited for him to elaborate. He laughed again, sighed, and then began.  
"Okay, well, uh... I don't know if you remember, but this was after you and I had our discussion about 'blowing off steam' and agreed to try it. Mordin had already sent me 'resources' and so I was... fairly educated on human female anatomy. It was... interesting. I hadn't thought about you like that yet, though. I couldn't really wrap my head around it.  
"First of all I stared at you in that dress because it was so foreign to what I knew of you. I'd never seen you in anything like that before. Thank the Spirits I knew you weren't headed off to seduce someone, but I recognized it as the type of dress that one might wear when planning to attempt...  
"So, I... well," he paused and cleared his throat again. "I thought about the intended reaction that dress was made to illicit in human males, and so I watched you for a bit as you prepped for the mission, wondering if I would have a similar reaction as I took the time to appreciate it."

  
"That's a very polite way of saying you ogled me to see if you would get turned on and start lusting after me," Shepard pointed out.  
"Well... yes," Garrus admitted, and Shepard burst out laughing.  
"That's fantastic," she got out between laughs. Garrus just smiled at her, glad she wasn't unsettled by the idea.  
"Don't human women not typically appreciate knowing that males are fantasizing about them?" he asked curiously.  
"Oh, no, you're right," Shepard assured him, nodding. "I've been looked at too intensely by strangers and that is creepy. But you and I had already established that we'd be seeing each other naked and taking our relationship to that level."  
"So... I had permission?" Garrus asked, trying to understand.  
"Well, unfortunately my permission doesn't matter when it comes to what goes on inside of people's heads..." Shepard frowned a little before continuing. "But I was the one who gave you that idea in the first place and extended the invitation. You were practically encouraged to think of me that way. You earned my trust."  
"Ah," Garrus replied, sitting up a little straighter. "I suppose I did."

  
"So, did it work? Did you have any good fantasies?" Shepard prodded with a smirk. Garrus laughed, feeling more comfortable now.  
"Well, for the most part I realized how rare it was for anyone to see you dressed that way, or more specifically, undress you the way I planned to..." he paused, allowing himself to smirk back. "I mean, any soldier in the galaxy admires you and would be honored to work with you. I was already lucky to be on almost every mission with you. But you'd invited me to take part in something no one else was. And that's when I decided I was the luckiest being alive in the galaxy," he finished, moving his hands up and back behind his head, putting on a show of looking smug.  
"Really?" Shepard asked, skeptical that he didn't have more to say.  
"Really," he said seriously. They stared at each other for a moment. "...and, I did go take a very cold shower as soon you got in the shuttle."  
"That's the answer I was looking for," Shepard giggled. She rolled herself over to lay on top of him, straddling his legs and placing her hands on his chest. He responded with a purr-like rumble as he brought his hands back down to rest on her waist.

  
"Mmm... is this our plans for tonight?" he asked.  
"Actually, weren't you supposed to be telling me about your idea for tomorrow?" Shepard reminded him, but didn't refrain from running one hand along his neck and shoulder.  
"Is that what we were talking about...?" Garrus mumbled, closing his eyes and relishing her touch.  
"Yes," Shepard teased, "something about a dress?"  
"Hmm..." Garrus spent a few more seconds in the moment before opening his eyes again. "Oh, yes, I remember. Well, I haven't seen you wear that dress or anything like it again. I was thinking maybe we could both get all dressed up and go out for dinner."  
"I didn't bring that dress with me," Shepard told him, furrowing her brow.  
"I didn't think you would. There's a very sophisticated clothing store for women called Ce'kotea just a short shuttle ride from here," Garrus told her.  
"...did you research that?" she asked.  
"Of course," he replied instantly, and she laughed.  
"And what about you? Do you have formal clothes?" she asked.  
"I'll rent something from Ikoln and Marter, which is also just a short shuttle ride from here," Garrus said matter-of-factly, unable to resist giving her hips a squeeze.  
"Your reconnaissance is a useful skill on the battlefield and it's adorable," Shepard laughed, kissing his cheek briefly. "How about we add in some anticipation?"  
"What do you mean?" Garrus asked, one brow plate rising slightly.

  
"What if we agree where to meet for dinner, and then go find clothes on our own? That way you won't see whatever dress I get until it's already on me," she explained, and then gasped. "Ohh, maybe I could even get my hair done!"  
"You'd change it?" Garrus asked, sounding a little concerned. He removed one hand from her waist to run through her hair appreciatively.  
"No, not really. Just a thorough wash with good products and a trim," she replied. When Garrus looked skeptical she added, "Cutting off just a little bit on the bottom helps it to grow healthier."  
"Interesting," he muttered. "Well, I think that could be fun. Let's do it. How about tomorrow we talk to the concierge about places we can eat?"  
"You mean you haven't researched that?" Shepard teased.  
"I did. But there's lots of options and I want you to get a chance to hear about them too," Garrus explained. Shepard chuckled and leaned in to kiss his other cheek, and he suddenly grasped her tight, nestling his head gently in the curve of her neck.  
"Now, how long are you going to tease me?" he asked gruffly, breathing in deeply as one hand traveled up the back of her neck and gently gripped her hair.  
"Oh, don't worry," Shepard exhaled, smiling. "Not much longer."  
  
*****  
  
Shepard stared out the window of the shuttle and took in the sights of Saefos. At dusk the city was softly lit, interrupted by a scattering of locales that had already turned on their bright lights to attract the tourists and high-level business executives in for a good time. Species of all kinds made up the masses traveling through the streets, finding their way to dinner, drinks, gambling, dancing, and exquisite company.  
She smiled, realizing that to most of the crowd here she was just another lady out on the town, and she actually felt the part. She had spent most of her afternoon out and about, fashioning the perfect look for the evening. At the beginning, she'd caught several looks, as her traditional spacefaring wardrobe made her easy to recognize as Commander Shepard. She also made it a point to always have her hair up in a bun when she was purposefully letting her identity be known. Because she had been so consistent with it, she was rarely recognized with it down, and so she left it up until she arrived at the salon. 

  
She treated herself to premium hair care and a trim with a little bit of layering, not changing things too drastically as she had promised Garrus. The young human stylist had taken a moment to thank Shepard for all she had done for humanity, but then respectfully treated her as any other customer and didn't ask any invasive questions. Shepard liked her and had tipped well. After that it was time for shopping, and to her delight she found what she wanted almost immediately.  
It was a red dress with a V neck and ruching that hugged her curves. At her hips a tiered skirt hung close but loose, allowing for plenty of elegant, flowing, movement. She got a small silver purse to fit what had been in her pockets, a simple pair of shoes, and even splurged on a necklace that was silver and had an intricate pattern of diamond-like gemstones (cheaper than the real thing, but still a luxurious purchase). She was so excited she left the store wearing it all. After dropping off her street clothes at the room and finishing the look off with just a little bit of make up, she'd gotten into the shuttle again to head for the restaurant.  
Her omnitool suddenly pinged. Garrus was calling her. She answered but kept the video function turned off.

  
"Hey," she said, smiling as she thought of meeting him soon.  
"Hey Shepard," Garrus greeted her. Shepard glanced up at her Salarian driver and caught him glancing in her direction, but he quickly looked away. He hadn't recognized her before. Garrus was continuing, "I think I might be a little late. There's a huge group here together getting fitted. I think someone's getting married or something." He turned the video around and Shepard saw how busy the place was. At least ten turians were standing around chatting while staff bustled to serve everyone in a timely matter. Shepard frowned a little.  
"Have they even talked to you yet?" she asked.  
"Oh, yeah, they know what I need. It just might be a while before it gets to me."  
"Well, that's okay. I'm headed to the restaurant now but I know I'm a little early," Shepard replied.  
Garrus turned the camera back to face him and looked hopeful as he asked, "So uh... no speak peeks?"  
"Nope," Shepard teased. "You'll just have to hope you get here soon. I think you'll like it."  
"Alright," Garrus sighed. "See you soon then."  
"See you soon."

  
They disconnected just as the shuttle slowed to a stop. Shepard thanked the driver and stepped out onto the street, taking in all the sights and sounds. A couple salarians walked by discussing business plans, a quarian nearby was playing a jaunty tune on an instrument Shepard couldn't identify, a human couple laughed as they walked arm-in-arm, and a turian and asari shook hands and agreed to be in contact soon. The street was well lit with soft ambient light and colors from inside the restaurants and clubs spilled out.  
I'm just a lady on the town, Shepard reminded herself, and realized how easy it was to forget the battlefield. She stepped forward, ready for the night.  
  
*****  
  
"Vakarian," Shepard told the maitre d', an older salarian who had greeted her very cheerfully.  
"Ah, yes. For two?" he asked.  
"My company is running behind," she explained.   
"No problem, follow me to your table."  
When talking to the concierge, Shepard had learned that this restaurant, Vaelik Amavala, was a collaboration between an asari matriarch and her salarian mate. Most of the staff was either direct asari descendants from the couple or extended relatives of Vaelik, exemplifying a family unity not often seen in places with an economic and political climate as fierce as Illium and its main cities. While the selection of turian food wasn't as varied as many other places, what they did have was known for exceptional quality.

  
The room was huge, but surprisingly not overly loud for the many conversations going on. Shepard wondered if the acoustics had been altered in some way. In the middle was a large circular bar with many stools and various tables and booths surrounding it. The host stopped at a booth near the back and against the wall.  
"Here we are. If you'd like, feel free to visit the bar while waiting for your partner," he told her. Shepard thanked him and he offered a slight bow before returning to the front of the building. Deciding she might as well make herself easily visible for Garrus when he arrived, she found a quiet spot on the bar and sat herself down.  
"What can I get for you ma'am?" a turian bartender asked. Shepard guessed from his gruff expression he doubled as security. She ordered a tangy, fruity drink with no alcohol (Chakwas had recommended no drinking for a while to ensure her head was healing well).

  
She was halfway through her drink when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She knew it wasn't Garrus before she turned around. He was a human male, young, light hair, hazel eyes. He was smiling nervously and slowly wringing his hands. But what Shepard noticed the most was his Alliance dress blues with a few accommodations proudly displayed on them.  
"Hey, I just noticed you from across the room and was thinking someone as beautiful as you shouldn't be sitting here all alone... could I join you, maybe get you a couple drinks?" he asked. Shepard realized he didn't recognize her. She smiled, glad to remain unidentified and also because she appreciated his politeness. Just before speaking she decided to slightly raise the pitch of her voice to keep up the ruse.

  
"That's very nice of you, and I do want you to know that I appreciate your service in the Alliance, but I'm actually waiting for my boyfriend who should be here shortly," Shepard told him.  
"Ah, thank you," he replied, still smiling politely. "You have a nice night." He dipped his head and turned away, and Shepard watched as he approached a table with a few other soldiers in uniform. She was fairly sure she overheard "I told you she wouldn't be single!" from that direction along with teasing and consoling chatter. She turned back towards the bar and noticed the bartender watching her as he polished glasses, looking slightly amused.  
"This may not be the club scene but you're definitely going to attract a few more offers," he told her.  
"Part of the dangers of looking nice for one night, I suppose," Shepard sighed. "At least he was nice."  
"You let me know if anyone's not," the turian said, his expression suddenly serious. "This is a nice place. We don't tolerate that here."  
"Good to know," Shepard replied. While she felt perfectly capable of handling herself, it would be much easier to let him handle a situation than reveal herself as Commander Shepard.

  
"You've got another one," the turian mumbled, then turned away and busied himself with another task. Shepard decided to be proactive and turned around to view the next person she would be sending away.  
He was another human male, several years older than her. He had short but bushy dark hair, a scruffy but kempt beard, and bright blue eyes. He was smiling too, but not in the same nervous way the other man had. He didn't say anything and instead simply sat himself on the stool next to her, but stayed turned towards her.  
"I'm sorry, I'm waiting on my boyfriend so I'm not interested in any extra company," she told him.  
"I'm not here to flirt, Commander Shepard," the man replied. Shepard sat up straighter, taking a moment to study him more thoroughly as he ordered a drink. He was dressed nicely, in a dark blue suit. He looked fit enough to be a soldier, but then many of the young businessmen on Illium did. He carried himself with exceptional confidence. Shepard glanced at the bartender, who was realizing who she was. He turned away from the two of them to work on the back counter but stayed close by. When she looked back at the man next to her, he was also staring at her, knowing he had caught her off guard and looking rather proud of that.

  
"Not everyone is fooled by a different hairstyle, elegant dress, and extravagant jewelry," he told her. He had an accent Shepard couldn't quite place and realized her translator chip was processing his speech.  
"Can I help you?" she asked, her tone stern. Something about him had her on edge.  
"Relax, I don't have any agenda. I guess you could say I'm a fan and simply thrilled to have a few moments in your presence," he explained, taking a sip of his drink.  
"Are you a soldier? Are you from Cerberus?" she asked quietly, narrowing her eyes.  
"No and no," he said quickly, shaking his head. "Really, I've just become very familiar with your work and admired the influence you've had for good on the Citadel and in the Terminus Systems. You're the best thing to happen to this galaxy if you ask me, so you can stop looking at me like I'm the enemy," he explained, though still seemed more smug than hurt. Shepard relaxed, but just a little. She turned back towards the bar.  
"Well, you collect a lot of enemies doing what I do, even if you are the best thing to happen to the galaxy," she grumbled at her drink, then looked back at him. "Who are you, then?"  
"My name is Halton Poythress," he said, and extended a hand. Shepard almost hesitated, but her soldier protocol took over and she shook his hand as a reflex. Her illusion of being someone other than Commander Shepard was shattered and now she felt stuck between the two, unsure of who she was in the moment.

  
"What do you do, Halton, that allows you to watch me so closely?" she asked, suddenly feeling like she had a headache coming on.  
"I'm a freelancer for various businesses. I collect information, help facilitate negotiations of contracts and such. I travel a lot and during the downtime it's easy to find news of you," Halton explained.  
"I didn't think there was much news of me while I worked with Cerberus," she commented, and watched as the bartender stepped away to serve someone else.  
"You're still a Citadel Spectre, and the first and only human Spectre at that. You're quite a marvel," he said, allowing a charming grin to spread across his face.  
"I just do what I can and what needs to be done," Shepard said, and wondered how many times in her life she had repeated that phrase. It may as well be written on her gravestone, reminding others not to worship her.   
"Do you know how many human lives you saved out in those colonies? From the Collectors?" Halton asked, leaning forward and staring at her intensely.  
"I admit I don't know the exact number," Shepard muttered.

  
"It's estimated in the hundreds of thousands," he said, sitting up straight again and sipping at his drink, but keeping his eyes on her as he did. Shepard didn't know what she should say. You're welcome? You're right, I'm awesome? She took a slow drink of her own and finished it by doing so. By the time she set it down, Halton was speaking again.  
"Do you know how many human lives you didn't save from the Collectors?" His tone was suddenly quiet, as if he were telling secrets. Shepard's brow furrowed as she looked at him. He was leaning in with his eyes wide and fixed on her as he continued. "Did you look up the population count of the colonies that were empty before you got there? Did you know that if you added them all together, it's estimated in the millions?"  
"Stop talking," Shepard tried to demand, but it came out as a hissed whisper. Her head suddenly throbbed and she felt incredibly uneasy, but she was frozen, her whole body tense. Halton continued.  
"Those are only the well documented colonies. Do you know how many on the edges of Terminus the Collectors abducted without any resistance before they hit the big places like Freedom's Progress? Do you know how many people died knowing that no one would be coming to save them?"

  
Shepard was scowling now, her hands clenched into tight fists in her lap. Halton's intense gaze slowly faded as a small smile crept onto his face.  
Shepard finally had it in her to do something, but before she did, she suddenly felt a familiar turian shape take its place against her side, one hand curving around her waist, her body instantly relaxing. She let out a breath she'd been holding as she looked at Garrus, now beside her, but his eyes were fixed on Halton. She nearly gasped at the intensity there.  
Garrus stood tall at first, eyes narrowed. Once Halton shifted his gaze to the turian, Garrus's entire posture shifted. He tucked his chin down, mandibles flaring and his shoulders subtly shifted forward. A low, threatening rumble came from his chest. In that moment Shepard thought he looked very much like a predator preparing to make it's fatal move.  
"It's time for you to go," he growled, everything about his body language and expression daring the human male to challenge him.  
Shepard had been so captivated she had nearly forgotten Halton was there. When she looked his direction he was already standing, again wearing a smug smile, but excusing himself as though he were always that civil. Shepard looked back to Garrus but he was still watching the back of Halton's head, making sure he continued on his way.

  
"Wow," Shepard said quietly. "I've never seen you be that intimidating without a weapon of some kind before." She realized he was still growling slightly and placed her hand on his chest, feeling the vibrations but also helping to ease them. Garrus held her close with the arm that was around her, but still watched Halton until he saw the man leave the building and the door close behind him. Once he did, he turned toward Shepard and placed his own hand over hers on his chest, the growl turning softer before fading away. His shoulders and mandibles once again relaxed.  
"I'm sorry, Shepard," he mumbled, his voice thick with regret. He leaned in and briefly rested his forehead against hers. "I should have been here sooner. I came as fast as I could."  
"It's okay, Garrus," Shepard said softly. "I've dealt with crazies before, and that's all it was. My head hurt so I just wasn't as quick to do something about it."  
"Are you feeling up to dinner still? We could get something to go," Garrus offered.  
"No, really, I'll be fine," Shepard said. She took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders, shaking off the encounter. "Besides, it was worth it to see you looking so dangerous," she added, her eyes bright with admiration. Garrus smiled, relaxing now that he felt reassured that she was okay.

  
"Turian loyalty can often lead to being... territorial," he admitted, clearing his throat. "I mean, not that I view you as territory..."  
"Don't worry, I'm not offended," she said emphatically, patting his chest. She brought up both hands and ran them over his shoulders. "These clothes were worth the wait too," she said appreciatively.  
While the overall shape of the clothing wasn't too different than casual turian wear, the fabric was higher quality and there was much more detail put into it. It was mostly black with some white highlights, resembling a human tuxedo, but in every seam there was elaborate bright gold stitching.  
"I'm glad you like it," Garrus replied proudly. "Why don't you let me get a good look at what you found?" He took her by the hand and stepped back and Shepard glided to her feet. Without much warning, Garrus stepped forward and used their linked hands to carefully spin her as if they were dancing a ballroom routine, her dress flowing around her. Shepard found herself blushing as he purred appreciatively.

  
"Where did you learn that move?" she asked incredulously. Garrus smirked and pulled her close again.  
"I research a lot of things, you should know that," he purred into her ear. Shepard suddenly realized more than a few sets of eyes were on them. She heard more chatter from the table of soldiers, including, "A turian? Ah, man, you never stood a chance! Look at his scars!"  
"And, I have to say, this is definitely a dress that inspires fantasies," Garrus continued, either oblivious or uncaring about the attention they drew. Shepard chuckled and appreciated his ability to get lost in the moment. She kissed his cheek, lingering with their faces close for a moment, then pulled back, smiling.  
"I'm hungry. Let's go have a lovely dinner," she said.  
"Absolutely," Garrus agreed, and they walked hand in hand to their table.


	3. Rift

Even in the middle of the night, Saefos had plenty of bustle. Garrus sat on a chair on the balcony of their room, several stories above the ground level, wearing only pants and his visor. The air was comfortably warm and he'd left the sliding door open to let some airflow into the dark room. He was leaning forward, looking down on the streets, as if looking for an answer.  
The night had been splendid. Dinner was exquisite, as was the rest of the night in their room. Shepard and Garrus knew how to thoroughly enjoy one another's company.  
There was one moment, when they had returned to the lobby of Luster, Garrus suddenly had the sense they were being watched. He had scanned the room, found nothing, and Shepard didn't notice, so he didn't bring it up. But he couldn't shake the idea that someone had followed them.  
His visor was actively scanning, but the only parameters he had given it were to search for thermal clips. The visor could find plenty of thermal clip signatures, but it wasn't unusual for some to be carrying a pistol in the middle of Saefos nightlife. He didn't know what else he might be looking for...

  
Some shuffling behind him caught his attention. He leaned back in the chair and turned to see Shepard stepping towards the balcony, looking groggy. She had taken the plush comforter off of the bed and wrapped it around herself, not bothering to put on anything more than underwear.  
"Hey," he said softly, extending a hand toward her. "Come here." Shepard yawned as she took his hand and he gently brought her down into his lap, still thoroughly bundled.  
"Can't resist anywhere with good sight lines?" Shepard mumbled, leaning her head against his shoulder and smiling.  
"You know me so well," he replied, stopping the scanner but leaving his visor on. "Are you feeling okay?" He brushed at her hair lightly with one hand and smirked a little. "We were a little... rambunctious earlier."  
"I feel fantastic," Shepard assured him. "No headaches. I'm just not used to having it so quiet. The aquarium in my cabin provides a lot of white noise that I'm apparently conditioned to."  
"Want me to hum in your ear?" Garrus asked, only partially joking. To prove it he let himself purr a little bit and Shepard giggled.

  
"You're too good to me," she told him.  
"You're magnificent," he countered. Shepard slowly looped one arm around his neck, burying her face further into his shoulder.  
"I don't deserve you," she mumbled, her tone suddenly less cheerful.  
"...what?" Garrus's brow furrowed with worry. He felt Shepard take a shaky breath.  
"I don't know what to do when life gets this good, Garrus. It feels like it's not mine anymore. Like I'm borrowing someone else's." She turned her head and looked out at the cityscape. Garrus realized he had never seen her so despondent and gripped her body tighter.

  
"This city, this room, the restaurant, those clothes... it's very different than normal. But in both cases I am with you. I'll be your constant, if it helps, Shepard," he offered gently. She stared out at the lights for a few more quiet moments, seeming far away. Finally, she turned back and placed her forehead on his.  
"It does," she whispered, closing her eyes. Garrus felt her body start to relax and realized how tired she was.  
"Let's get you back into bed," he said, and adjusted his hold on her to carry her back into the room. He placed her on the bed she got the comforter from and she stretched then settled in.

"Can you bring me your top? Not the fancy one, your other one," she asked groggily.  
"What for?" Garrus asked, but retrieved it from the other side of the room and offered it to her.  
"It smells like you," she mumbled, eyes already closed as she clung tight to his top and wrapped the comforter around her again. Garrus chuckled, having been unaware he had a smell she appreciated. He sat down on the floor near her head and began stroking her hair, helping to lull her back to sleep.  
As he watched her body relax and her breathing slow, his face fell further into a frown. He was reflecting on what she had said, and remembering his conversation with Mordin on the Normandy about her mental state. It seemed some of the doctor's speculations were accurate... Although Shepard had said he was helping, it felt as though there was a lot more happening in her head that she hadn't shared. Now Garrus just had to figure out the right words, at the right time, and maybe he could keep her safe.  
  
*****  
  
The next day, Shepard and Garrus had decided to stay at the resort and enjoy the amenities. Shepard went swimming and enjoyed the sauna. They visited the gym and sparred and raced each other (they exchanged wins and losses nearly evenly). Garrus played poker and a few other gambling games with fellow patrons. Shepard played a couple games, but enjoyed watching Garrus play just as much.  
The day after that Shepard was restless with wanderlust. Garrus suggested they go browsing the local businesses for gear, tech, weapon mods, or anything along those lines. They had pretty good requisition lines on the Normandy, so while they looked at and inspected many high-level upgrades, by the late afternoon they had yet to actually purchase anything. They had just stepped out of a Serrice Technology outlet when Shepard's omnitool pinged.

  
"Oh, Liara's calling," she said cheerfully, and pulled up the video chat. "Hey Liara!" Garrus looked over her shoulder and waved when Liara's image appeared.  
"Hi Shepard, Garrus. How is Saefos Valley?" she asked, smiling.  
"We're having a great time," Shepard told her. "Yesterday we stayed at Luster and today we're checking the equipment options available. A lot of it is a bit too fancy to be practical for our use, but still fun to see."  
"Saefos is definitely not short on things to see," Liara agreed. "Do you have plans for the rest of your visit?" Shepard and Garrus looked at each other and shrugged.  
"We've kind of been winging it," Garrus explained.

  
"Well, I actually have a favor to ask," Liara said, suddenly looking thoughtful.  
"What is it?" Shepard asked, her brow furrowing.  
"Something's come up within my network local to Saefos and it requires some extra footwork," she explained, and they both knew she was talking about her Shadow Broker resources.  
"What are the details?" Shepard asked, and Garrus tensed. Her tone sounded like she was ready to go.  
"I can send you a document encrypted to you with all the pertinent information," Liara offered.

  
"Actually, Liara," Garrus began, "part of why we're taking it easy here is because Shepard's been put on temporary medical leave. Chakwas will be re-evaluating when we return to the Normandy." Shepard shot him a look but he didn't flinch.  
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize," Liara said, shaking her head in embarrassment. "Is everything okay?"  
"I'm doing fine," Shepard insisted with a sigh.  
"Oh, well... I'm glad to hear that," Liara replied. She looked a little confused at the whole situation. "I'd better go redistribute some agents to get this situation taken care of. Let me know if you guys need any other recommendations."  
"Thanks," Garrus said.  
"See you, Liara," Shepard said. Liara smiled and waved and then the call ended. Shepard turned to face Garrus, her eyes narrowed, and his mandibles twitched uncomfortably.

  
"Last I checked, I'm the one that chooses what missions I accept," Shepard told him.  
"Unless you were planning on just sending me, I don't think it's a good idea to risk your healing progress," Garrus explained.  
"I feel fine," Shepard snapped.  
"I know you do, but don't you think it's a good idea to wait until after Chakwas has seen you? She told me about setbacks being easy to trigger with this kind of injury." Garrus wasn't exactly sure why she was so upset, but he kept his tone level and firm.  
"'A good idea'. You've said that twice now. Is this about questioning my judgment?" Shepard crossed her arms and waited for an answer, her expression still harsh.

  
"I-- ah..." Garrus paused and took a deep breath. This wasn't exactly the 'right time' he would've chosen, but he prayed he had the right words. "Shepard... the last several missions have had mishaps, and they've been getting worse. A few of us have felt they were... avoidable," he said gently.  
"A few of you? Does my whole crew sit around questioning my judgment?"  
"That's not how it is," Garrus said firmly. He realized she was now being the Commander, and not his partner. That was definitely a step backwards.  
"Then how is it?" Shepard snapped. A few passersby were beginning to give them looks, but no one appeared tempted to interfere. Garrus sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

  
"Look, everybody knows you've accomplished more than most soldiers. Myself, and those who work with you closely, know that also means you've gone through more hell than most," he said softly. "You died and came back to life! The Collector Base was no doubt a suicide mission and you got us out without losing a man. But now your life is in this weird limbo with no war. You're making suicide missions out of small battles as if you need that to define you."  
"Are you saying I have a death wish?" Shepard scoffed, then rubbed her temples with one hand, cringing her eyes shut.   
"I'm saying... no one would blame you if your perceptions of life and death are confusing right now. You spent two years dead but, here you are, and I can imagine it's a lot for your mind to process and make sense of."

  
"So is this about questioning my sanity?" she asked, not looking up. "Because if that's a problem--"  
"No! Shepard, when you lost consciousness on that colony, I was terrified. I didn't know how serious the damage was. I know we do dangerous things but I need to know you're doing your best to take care of yourself!" Garrus's mandibles twitched constantly, realizing he had drawn more attention to them by raising his voice. Shepard was quiet and he took a risk, reaching out to brush her shoulder. Immediately she backed away, her eyes meeting his now, her face wearing a scowl as sharp as a blade.  
"If you're not happy with my decisions you're under no obligation to remain on the Normandy," she growled. "You can always go back to being Archangel."

  
"What?!" Garrus's eyes widened and his mandibles flared in distress. "Shepard, I would never--"  
"Garrus, I can't do this right now," she interrupted, groaning and holding her head again. "I'll see you later." With that, she turned and began to walk away down the street.  
"Shepard, wait!" Garrus took one step, his hand reaching for her, but she didn't respond. He realized he knew the importance of letting time work in his favor and cool tempers. Still, he stood there, torturing himself with the sight of her walking away, attempting to compose himself.  
Suddenly he saw in his mind the image of Shepard's helmet, the dangerous rift cracking the pieces apart. That gave him an idea. Forcing himself to look away, he opened his omnitool and searched for nearby stores that might carry the type of helmet he intended to replace, determined to set this right.  
  
*****  
  
Shepard's head was pounding. Suddenly everything seemed too bright and too loud. She cringed as she walked down the street, not paying too much attention to where she was going, but not intending to go far.  
Eventually she found herself near a small neighborhood, slightly removed from all the noise. The structures were nice, but rather old. Between them and the large businesses was a tiny park. It wasn't much more than a path between a couple flower beds and a fountain the size of a small coffee table. There was a single bench and not a soul in sight. It looked like exactly what Shepard needed.  
She sat down on the bench and took a few deeps breaths with her eyes closed, willing her head to calm down.  
 _Maybe I need to calm down..._

  
After several minutes of letting herself focus on her breathing, the pain started to subside. She opened her eyes and took a moment to appreciate the few flowers around the bench.  
She couldn't keep her thoughts off of Garrus and their conversation forever, though... She sighed heavily. She knew walking away had been immature, but she knew she wouldn't be able to focus with her head throbbing as it was. Maybe she had overreacted? But when she thought about her crew questioning her judgment...  
 _Ugh, my head hurts again._  
She'd talk to Garrus later. She would apologize, and she knew he'd accept. She smiled thinking about his comment on turian loyalty from their dinner.  
Shepard thought about the last several missions. There had been mishaps... She rubbed at her temples for moment. Maybe it was better to simply focus on the future. Relax, see Chakwas, get cleared... then go forward from there. In the meantime, sitting quietly for a while sounded like an excellent idea.

  
Quite some time passed, and Shepard was just beginning to consider calling Garrus when she thought she heard someone behind her over the distant clamor of the busy streets.  
She suddenly felt a pain as if a small rodent had bitten the back of her head. Before she could reach up or turn around, two large, human arms wrapped themselves around her forehead and her neck. Her hand went to her pistol but the arms tweaked in different angles and Shepard realized they could snap her neck if her attacker so chose.  
She stood still, heart pounding, considering her options. Though her biotics were not polished (her abilities were sporadic so she preferred other tactics) she attempted to overpower the physical strength that held her, but the moment she intended to use them they seemed to backfire in a massive headache and left her assailant uneffected.

  
Whoever they were, they seemed content to wait out her every strategic consideration. For a moment Shepard considered pulling her gun anyway, and banking on the idea that her attacker preferred to take her alive and would be unwilling to kill her. She realized that was probably exactly the kind of reckless behavior Garrus was trying to urge her to be aware of... It was likely there was more than one person involved in this ambush.  
So, she let go of her pistol. Slowly, she brought her hands up as a symbol of surrender.  
"That's a good girl, Shepard," came a deep male voice from just behind her ear. Then, a prick on her arm, and she realized just how much trouble she was in when things went dark.  
  
*****  
  
It had already gotten dark and the nightlife was in full swing when Garrus stepped into their room at the Luster, carrying a box that held a helmet for Shepard, similar in model and style but with a few added upgrades.  
"Shepard?" he called, turning on the light. There was no answer and he found the room empty. His brow furrowed. He understood allowing Shepard time to herself to clear her head, but this seemed a little unusual. Suddenly something didn't feel right in his gut.  
He set the helmet down and attempted to call her via omnitool, but she didn't answer. He went downstairs and asked one of the asari running the spa desk if they'd seen Shepard come by, but she hadn't. He stood in the lobby for a moment, considering his other options. Eventually he sent a comm to the Normandy.

  
"EDI, do you have a location for Shepard's omnitool?"  
"Yes, she has been stationary for approximately 96 minutes," came the instant reply, and his omnitool brought up a marker on a map. It was several blocks away, further from the main city attractions. "Do you require any additional assistance?"  
"No, that's all. Thanks."  
He set off at a brisk pace, exiting the lobby and heading down the street. At this point he didn't care if Shepard still wanted to be left alone, he just needed to calm his growing sense of unease. He was almost there when he rounded a sharp corner and collided with another turian, nearly stumbling and instinctively placing a hand over his pistol.  
"Sorry," Garrus grumbled, continuing on.

  
"...wait! Hey, Garrus, wait!"  
Garrus whipped back around to face the turian he had bumped into, hand still on his weapon as he got a closer look. Slowly, recognition came to him and his eyes widened.  
"...S-Sidonis?!" he gasped. Seeing Sidonis there at all was quite surprising to him, but Garrus hadn't recognized him for other reasons. Sidonis had several new scars on his face, the most dramatic one being a large gash on the left side, straight down through his eye. That eye was discolored, a mixture of black and blue similar to the hue of turian blood.  
None of those scars had been there when Garrus last saw his face through the scope of his rifle, and they all looked to be at the same level of healing. Sidonis looked away and wrung his hands, his mandibles twitching uncomfortably as Garrus studied him.  
"I-- uh..." Garrus worked to compose himself, but truly couldn't think of what to say. While he was past wanting to kill Sidonis on sight, he didn't want to be friends. And Sidonis looked like he knew this.  
"I don't have time for this right now," Garrus finally muttered lamely, and turned back away to continue towards Shepard's omnitool location.

  
"Garrus, wait," Sidonis pleaded again, and caught up to him, keeping pace even though Garrus ignored him. For a moment nothing was said, until they rounded another corner into a more secluded alleyway and Sidonis spoke up again.  
"Shepard is off planet."  
Garrus froze. Again, he whipped around and this time brought himself dangerously close to Sidonis's face, his eyes fierce. To his credit, Sidonis didn't flinch.  
"If you have put her in danger, Sidonis, Spirits help you--" Garrus growled.  
"You know better than anyone that if I had anything to do with it I wouldn't be able to face you," Sidonis said calmly, meeting his gaze. "You can trust that I haven't grown a quad or taken acting lessons."  
Garrus didn't move for a few more moments, then realized Sidonis was right. He huffed and took a small step back, his expression unchanged.

  
"She is in danger, Garrus," Sidonis said quietly, his face falling. Many emotions shuffled through Garrus at once; fear, disbelief, rage, hurt. Eventually movement took over and once again he turned away and followed his path to the marker on his map.  
"I'm headed to her omnitool right now," he growled. Sidonis kept pace again.  
"She won't be there," he said firmly.  
"Why don't you tell me something useful?" Garrus snapped. Even if she wasn't there, he needed to retrieve her omnitool, but for the moment he wasn't allowing himself to believe that she was gone.  
"You're right," Sidonis conceded. "But you're not going to like hearing it... Shepard's been targeted by someone very... twisted. He sees himself as judge and jury and executioner, but he doesn't kill. It's... more psychological, more about pain and weakness."  
Garrus was listening but he wasn't ready to process it. He didn't reply, other than to pick up his pace, and Sidonis continued.  
"He knows how to debilitate people once he has them. I know Shepard is very capable but she won't be able to escape on her own. Time is vital. The longer he has her, the more opportunity to--"

  
Garrus suddenly stopped in his tracks. They were in some sort of park that was incredibly small. Quiet, only a few trees, and a bench looking away from the city and towards a street with housing.  
On the ground behind the bench was an abandoned omnitool, Shepard's favorite model. Slowly, delicately, Garrus walked over and picked it up. He sat there, still, now letting himself take in all that Sidonis had said.  
"...how do you know this person has Shepard?" he finally asked quietly, not taking his eyes off the omnitool.  
"I've been watching his ship. I realized it was gone and then hacked the security footage. As soon as I saw it I went looking for you," Sidonis explained.  
"Show me." It wasn't a request. Garrus stood and approached Sidonis who was already working on his omnitool.

  
A video display appeared showing a portion of Saefos Valley docks. Walking down the long pathway was a group of individuals, bundled close together. Leading them was a krogan, with a batarian on either side. As they got closer into view, the fourth person became more visible.  
Human, male, dark hair, beard. Garrus recognized him. He was carrying Shepard in his arms, curled up like a sleeping child. She was unconscious, but as far as Garrus could tell, unharmed... He watched, frozen, until the group entered a ship and it left the docks.  
"That man confronted Shepard the other night," Garrus muttered, barely able to get the words out.  
"What?" Sidonis exclaimed, closing the omnitool footage. "What did he say?"

  
"I chased him off," Garrus exhaled heavily, the video having shaken him. "Shepard didn't tell me what he said before I got there, but... he mentioned the Collectors, and all the humans they took before we stopped them." Sidonis's eyes widened and Garrus's mandibles twitched.   
"What? What's that look about?"  
"Hold on, let me explain," Sidonis said, taking a deep breath and wringing his hands. "This man doesn't typically approach targets. He also doesn't tend to bring them in personally. Usually he stays in one place for quite a while, which let's me catch up to him, but he barely got here a week ago. This pattern change could mean that he's been thinking of Shepard for a long time and just... got lucky to run into her."  
"Why would he target her? Something about a twisted sense of justice?" Garrus asked.  
  
  
"Yes," Sidonis said, nodding. "He sees the lives he feels you are accountable for and keeps you the same number of days. If he's holding her responsible for human colonist deaths at the hands of the Collectors..."  
"Spirits," Garrus breathed. "That's insane!"  
"Yes, he is," Sidonis said quietly.  
"How did you come across him or get on his trail?" Garrus asked, suddenly realizing Sidonis had an awful lot of intel. Sidonis looked away and slowly gestured to the left side of his face.  
"I... spent ten days at his facility," he replied quietly. Understanding hit Garrus like a punch to the gut.  
  
"For our squad," Garrus growled.  
"It wasn't long after you confronted me and Shepard saved my life," Sidonis explained, still not meeting his gaze. "I hadn't figured out what to make of myself yet. I was drunk one night and rambling... he made some comment about redemption and I didn't care enough to think twice. I told him the whole story. At some point I lost consciousness and woke up there. Some kind of VI explained I would be there ten days and... he said I would be his best 'student' since I had such a willingness to do something meaningful with my life, and I would be free to do so after he was done with me. Well, when I got out I decided the first meaningful thing I would do with my life is gather intel on him until I could point the right gun at him." Sidonis paused, and finally looked up. "I had no idea it would be you, or that he'd target Shepard. But both of you could easily be the right gun for any job."  
  
The two of them stared at each other in silence for a moment. It was a lot for Garrus to take in, and Sidonis knew this. But they both also knew they didn't have any time to waste. Garrus suddenly pulled up a comm to EDI again.  
"EDI, Shepard is in danger. She's been taken off planet. Tell everybody who's ready for a rescue mission to report back at the Normandy in an hour. I'll give as much information as I can then."  
"The alert has been sent, Garrus," EDI announced, and Garrus looked again at Sidonis.  
"You're coming with me and telling me everything you know."


	4. Escalation

Garrus had returned back to the room at the Luster to pack up his and Shepard's things. Part of him hated doing such a menial task when so much was at stake, but he had to have the intel first, and this at least gave him something to do with his hands as he listened. Sidonis had been explaining as much as he could on the way there. While he didn't know much about the man's origin or how he came to be a psychopath with resources, he had learned a fair amount about his operations.  
He had several different aliases. Halton Poythress, Bayard Rennels, Marlon Cotterell, Malachi Pyne... But to his captives he was known as Upholder. As far as Sidonis could tell, it wasn't a large operation. There was only a handful of hired muscle, many of which he could identify but didn't have names for. The Pursuance, the Upholder's ship, was one Sidonis could easily recognize and he had connections set up at various docks to keep an eye out for it. With the small ship and known personnel, he guessed the facility itself isn't very large.

  
"While you're there, he... does that to you?" Garrus asked, pausing his packing to gesture at the other turian's face. Sidonis stood near the doorway awkwardly, looking down and feeling like he was intruding. "And then just sets you free and doesn't expect repercussions?"  
"He sees what he does as a service. Like, because of what he did to me, I've been redeemed and can now get back to living my life," Sidonis said quietly. Garrus raised a brow at him as he continued. "I don't know that I will ever be clear of betraying you or getting our squad killed, Garrus... but I did awaken to the idea of how useless my life had become, and that my poor choices don't disqualify me from doing something differently today... So in that way, I guess Upholder succeeded."

  
"Shepard doesn't have anything to atone for," Garrus growled, busying himself with packing and not looking at Sidonis.  
"I know, Garrus. That's another reason I think it may be likely that Upholder has been eyeing her for a long time."  
"Tell me... what happened to you," Garrus said, knowing he didn't want to think about Shepard in that situation, but he had to know. Sidonis took a deep breath.  
"There is a sort of... orientation..."  
  
*****  
  
The first thing Shepard became aware of was the hard, smooth floor her body was resting on. The next was the bright lights illuminating the white walls and floor. At the same time she noticed that she was wearing different clothes than before and that someone was sitting in the room with her.  
She attempted to sit up and was met with throbbing pain in her head. She cringed, took deep breaths, and pushed herself up off the floor and onto her knees. A small tank top hung close to her body and spandex shorts covered her hips and part of her thighs. Her hair was down and hung loose. A firm rubber-like band fit tight around her wrists which were linked together by a cord of similar material, with only about a foot of space between the two. Her ankles were also bound but could move more independently of each other, being connected to a cord that trailed somewhere behind her, but she didn't look that way yet.

  
"You've had a concussion recently," the person in the room with her said. Shepard took one last deep breath, willing her mind to focus, and finally let her eyes study the man. She recognized him, but couldn't place from where. Then he grinned wide, blue eyes sparkling, and said, "You're probably in more pain than I intended, this early in our experience, Shepard."  
As she heard her name she remembered. He had called himself Halton Poythress and seen through her disguise. She remained silent, peering at him through narrowed eyes. He was dressed nicely, like he had been at the restaurant, and sitting on the ground, cross-legged. She guessed he was just outside of whatever range her bonds gave her.  
"Usually I let my VI do the introductions, but... you are too special for that." He continued grinning and seemed not at all off put by her silence. "Welcome to the Cruciate!" He gestured to the room around them. It was much larger than a cell, but still felt like one.  
"Unless you're very good, this is probably all you will be seeing of it. I am Upholder. I will be your personal guide on your journey of redemption and discovering anew your place in life." 

  
Shepard did not reply.  
"There are a few things you should know. The device we've attached internalizes any biotic use you may attempt," he explained, pointing to the back of his own head. "Depending on the severity of your attempts, the backlash will result in anything between a headache to internal bleeding. Ideally you will lose consciousness before it kills you. It can only be deactivated by someone without your chemical signature, so if you attempt to remove it yourself, it will have a similar unpleasant effect."  
More stillness and silence.  
"...as much as I love the intensity with which you are looking at me, you may want to study this room more thoroughly. Later on you may wish you had."  
Shepard considered this. This guy clearly had a big ego, which was part of what kept him talking so much. He apparently didn't want her dead; at least, not yet. There was a good chance he wasn't likely to lie, considering he thought so much of himself, even if he was deranged.

  
In front of her, there wasn't much. Behind the one who called himself Upholder was a door, about twenty feet from where she was sitting. It was flush with the wall, just one handle. Shepard rotated and saw the opposite wall of the room not far behind her. She had about fifteen feet of range from where her bonds were attached to the ground. In a back corner was what appeared to be a shower; there were no walls, just a faucet hanging out from the wall, a lever for water controls, and a drain beneath it.  
"That water is nutrition fortified. It is clean and a constant safe temperature. You will always have access to it. Additional meals are not an option for the time being."  
Shepard slowly turned to face him again, trying not to be disarmed by how pleasant his tone was.  
"If medigel is necessary, it will be left about where I am sitting now."

  
Shepard thought carefully about what she planned to say. She was fairly sure that a few of the right words would get him to reveal quite a bit. As unpleasant as it was, learning about the enemy in an extremely disadvantaged position could be very valuable, and that often meant playing nice, or at least being civil.  
"What is your goal with all of this?" she finally asked, careful and level. Upholder's expression became a soft smile, as if a child had asked him for help learning the alphabet.  
"Do you not remember what I said to you that night? You were so lovely in that dress..." He looked wistful for a moment and Shepard waited for him to continue. "I meant what I said about you being the best thing to happen to the galaxy and being thrilled to have a few moments in your presence. I've been watching your journey since you became a Spectre. You're fascinating and I'm going to learn quite a lot about you from our time together."  
  
Shepard stood, grateful her head didn't hurt further, and moved around a bit, waking up her sluggish muscles.  
"What do you want to know?" she asked, looking around the room instead of at him.  
"I want to learn things about you that even you don't know," Upholder replied, his voice smooth as silk. He stayed seated and watched all of Shepard's movements closely.  
"I know myself very well," Shepard replied.  
"Yes you do," he agreed without missing a beat.

  
"Do I get to learn about you?" she asked, feeding the ego. At that, Upholder stood and moved closer, once again wearing his charming smile.  
"You'll learn more about me than anyone else I've hosted. I don't intend to share you... much," he said.  
"You have others here?" Shepard asked.  
"A few. But you are my focus. I only dreamed I'd be lucky enough to get you here," Upholder said, stepping closer again. Shepard wondered how close he would get, and if she would have a chance to attempt an attack. She kept her body language relaxed to see if it would lure him closer. "It's a shame you let that turian touch you so intimately," he continued, suddenly frowning and viewing her with disappointment. "But I think we can learn to get past that." Shepard changed the subject quickly, not wanting Garrus or her emotions to be in the forefront of her mind right now.

  
"When you first spoke to me, you talked about the Collectors. And their victims."  
"Yes. That death toll is how I knew you'd lost your way," Upholder sighed sadly.  
"And you're here to correct me?" Shepard asked.  
"Normally, yes. You'd be rehabilitated and then sent on your way. But... I don't think I can afford to let you go, now that I have you." He crossed his arms and placed a hand on his beard thoughtfully. "The damage may be too great already."

  
"Do you really think no one will find me?" Shepard asked, finally allowing a bit of venom into her tone. "I'm kind of important to a lot of people."  
"I know the extent Cerberus went to, to keep you with us," Upholder nodded. "There may very well come a time when you are taken from me. But I intend to savor every moment in the meantime."  
Shepard laughed mockingly, planning to sting his ego now, and it worked. His mouth twitched in annoyance.  
"You think you can actually handle me?" she asked, laughing some more.

  
It worked.  
He willingly stepped into her range, and Shepard lunged forward and managed to grip the pistol on his belt, but his hands were there too. He twisted her wrist away and she fired towards the wall, the bullet ricocheting elsewhere in the room as the pistol fell from her hands. He then pulled her body close to his. He was smiling, she was scowling. It had been a reckless move and not likely to result in freedom, but Shepard couldn't help herself.  
She wasn't done yet though; two could play the psychological side of this. She spat in his face.

  
In one swift movement Upholder let go of her wrists and brought his right fist up, striking her on the jaw. Shepard wasn't sure if the impact was echoing in the room or her head as she reeled back. Pain, dizziness, and nausea surged as she slowly crumpled to the floor, fighting to stay upright but failing. The room spun as her compromised head struggled to stay conscious.  
"I promise I will be more gentle on your head in the future," was the last thing she heard before darkness flooded over her.  
  
*****  
  
"...Upholder uses silence and stillness as much as he does violence. He'll sometimes leave you alone for hours. You'll finally drift off to sleep and then wake up to a bullet hole in your leg, or a knife across your chest..." Sidonis drifted off, his hand clutching the front of his shirt. Garrus had been quiet and still for a long time. Sidonis looked up to see him holding a red dress, his mind far away.

  
"I saw you and Shepard at the restaurant," Sidonis said, clearing his throat. "If I had been a little earlier I might have seen Upholder and known to warn you," he continued sadly. "I followed you back here, curious, and... nosy. Perhaps jealous," he admitted. "You both looked so happy together."  
"...we are," Garrus muttered.  
"She'll make it until we get to her, Garrus," Sidonis said, nodding his head confidently. Garrus placed the dress in one of the bags, closed them both up and lifted them onto his shoulders. He turned to face Sidonis.

  
"I know," he said. He was standing up tall, looking confident, but his tone betrayed the pain of the situation he found himself in.  
"Come on," Garrus said with a heavy exhale. "There's a call we need to make from the Normandy."  
  
*****  
  
Shepard woke up... or at least she thought she did. She was still on the floor, and didn't dare move. She felt as though she might throw up if she shifted too quickly. Her head felt like a ball of lead and she didn't know how much time had passed.  
She opened her eyes... and saw nothing. Confused, she brought her hand up in front of her face and tried to detect the movement, but couldn't. She hadn't even thought to inspect the lighting in the room previously; perhaps they'd been turned off? She took a few deep breaths before rolling over from her side onto her back, then noticed something else was off...  
She knocked on the floor beneath her. She clapped her hands. She hummed. She hummed louder. She snapped her fingers right next to her ear... and she heard nothing.  
It occurred to her that the lights may still be on, and she remembered what Upholder had said about not being able to study the room later...

  
This was on purpose. Sensory deprivation. A drug, maybe? Shepard's heart beat faster, remembering the last time she felt this vulnerable was when she was watching the Normandy crumble and the oxygen was leaking out of her suit. She took slow breaths, reminding herself that air was still in supply.  
She ran her hands over her restraints. It felt like a tire on the Mako; not totally immovable, but heavy, thick rubber. The portions on her wrists could bend slightly, enough for her to pull it away from her skin, but nowhere near enough to fit over her hands.  
She rested her hands on her stomach now, closing her eyes, trying to get over how unsettling it was to be without her two major senses. It felt fairly certain that eventually Garrus would figure out where she was and come for her. He knew how to figure things out.

  
But how long would it be? She didn't even know if she was on a planet or an asteroid. Could it be a stationary ship? No, her instincts told her she was somewhere more solid than that...  
How noticeable of a trail did Upholder leave? Did he have associates Garrus could lean on? Did he have any kind of ship, or was she still on Illium in some remote basement somewhere? It was frustrating to think of all these potential strategies and yet know that her only option was to wait... however long it took. She trusted Garrus, and her team. But she longed to be working with them.

  
Something touched her and she sucked in a breath, unmoving. A hand, a turian hand, trailed it's way from her knee up to her hip, then went away.  
Was she dreaming? Maybe she hadn't woken up at all... It couldn't be Garrus already, could it? He'd be doing something more obvious than touching her leg. Should she move? Where would she go? How many others were in the room with her? She tried to feel vibrations in the floor of footsteps, but there were none.  
Before she had taken any action, the leg that had been touched felt a stinging impact. Shepard shouted and rolled onto her opposite side, gritting her teeth. Searing pain lit up the same trail the hand had traced. Gingerly, and still breathing through a grimace, she brought her hands to her leg and felt a gash there.

  
Then the turian hand was back, more boldly now, dragging itself from her shoulder down her now exposed back. She started to push herself up with her elbow but wasn't fast enough, and earned a strike across her back.  
Shepard shouted again, louder this time, with anger. She scrambled to her feet and spun around in a ready stance, the torn skin on her leg and back screaming in protest. She felt blood beginning to drip from them and her hair sticking to the blood on her back.  
She stood there, waiting, growing more and more frustrated. All the strategy and skill that she knew made her deadly relied on being able to assess your enemy, and she didn't even know where they were.

  
Seconds passed... then Shepard was fairly sure a couple minutes passed. She relaxed her stance somewhat and stood there for another several minutes. She knew whoever else was there could easily wait for as long as they wanted... should she wait too? Just stand and expect another interaction? How long would she be there?  
She thought of Upholder. He said he wanted to learn about her... and always intently observed. If she gave him something to observe, maybe she wouldn't have to endure quite so many wounds. As much as she didn't fear pain, she knew keeping herself able was important not just physically, but also mentally. 

  
She lowered herself down into a crouch and grasped the cord leading away from her ankles. She tugged, looking for the center of her range. She made her best guess as to what direction the shower was in and stood, creeping forward with calculated steps.  
"I get it, Upholder," she said as she walked, though she couldn't hear it. She didn't know why, but speaking felt helpful then. "You're hurt."  Her tone held mocking sympathy.  
She found a wall, which at least confirmed to her that she was in the back of the room. She bent down again, tugging on the cord, and determined she needed to head to her right. Keeping against the wall, she felt up and down with her hand as she explored further.

  
"You're hurt by the idea of me with my turian. You want me to feel that."  
Then she found the lever to start the water. She felt for the faucet to get an idea of where the water would fall, then shifted the lever. It was disorienting not to hear the sound of running water in response, but she felt it with her other hand. The flow was gentle and the temperature lukewarm.  
"I'm guessing you think yourself a better suitor."  
Shepard put her non-injured leg in first, leaving her clothes on, then stepped all the way in. Her wounds stung and ached but she did her best to breathe through it. She let the water hit her face and soak her hair then pulled her hair over her shoulder to let the water reach her torn skin.

  
"You're sure doing a great job trying to prove it," she scoffed.  
Her tank top fell forward, loose. Whatever had struck her had ripped the fabric down the middle and it had clung to her wound until the water washed it away. Shepard used one hand to secure it against her chest and for a moment considered abandoning it completely.  
Instead, she took it off and then put it on backwards so the split was in the front. She tied the two pieces together and with enough adjusting, managed to get herself sufficiently covered and secure.

  
She got most of her body out of the water now, but cupped her hands and took many drinks. It tasted kind of earthy, and she guessed that must be the "nutrition fortified" part. Then, feeling for the lever, she turned the water off and wrung out her hair.  
"You probably wouldn't even know how to win someone over," she added thoughtfully. She took a few steps away from the shower and sat down, knowing her clothes and hair would need some time to air dry and she didn't want a puddle in the middle of the room. She closed her eyes, planning to spend some time meditating to keep her mind sharp against the psychological warfare.

  
"I promise my turian will always know me better than you will."  
  
*****  
  
Garrus and Sidonis quickly made it to the Normandy, still docked in Saefos Valley. Joker and a handful of others who had returned already peppered him with questions, but he refused to give details until he knew the plan. He simply confirmed that Shepard was taken and said he had more information to gather before closing himself and Sidonis in the comm room.

  
"EDI, get me Liara, and let her know it's urgent," he demanded. Liara appeared immediately on the large screen, her brow furrowed.  
"Garrus? What's going on? Where's Shepard?" she asked. Sidonis fidgeted awkwardly in the background. Liara was polite enough not to ask, but he knew she was wondering who he was. Garrus ignored him, not having any time for his insecurities or awkwardness.  
"I'm afraid this is an official call to ask for use of your information resources," he said. "Shepard's been captured and is being held by someone. We need you to give us a lead."

  
"Captured? With what agenda? Who would be stupid enough--" Liara began, but Garrus gave her a look that reminded her to stay focused. "How much danger is she in?" she asked.  
"We believe we can handle it easily enough once we know where we're going," Garrus replied. "That's where you come in."  
"Right. What do you have so far?"  
"Do you have anything on the Upholder, or... uh..." Garrus drifted off, unable to remember the other key names Sidonis had given. He looked over his shoulder to the other turian.  
"Ah, uh, a location or facility dubbed Cruciate, or a ship named Pursuance," Sidonis offered.  
"Let me check," Liara said. She looked to a different screen and Garrus could see the light of data whizzing by reflecting off her face. "Nothing comes up right away... Although I can find history on the Pursuance. It docks occasionally on Illium, Omega, Noveria... most of the notable locations. If it's making pit stops in unregulated space, there may not be record of that. I have that it's in the ownership of a Bayard Rennels, but there's not much record of him either. It's likely an alias."

  
"It is," Sidonis grumbled. "I could have told you that." Liara narrowed her eyes and Garrus coughed away a chuckle, realizing that Sidonis would never guess he was talking to the Shadow Broker.  
"Is this a small operation?" Liara asked with a bit of attitude.  
"We believe so," Garrus replied.  
"It's possible it simply hasn't done enough to come up on my radar yet. Do you have anything else?" Liara asked.  
"How about this?" Sidonis asked, and stepped forward, using his omnitool pulling up a rather clear image of Upholder playing cards at a bar. "I took this just a few weeks ago." Liara looked at it intently.

  
"Why does that look familiar..." she muttered. Garrus looked at it closely too.  
"That hair on his face, it's longer now," Garrus said, glancing at Liara. "Humans can cut it off, too, right?"  
"Yes!" Liara gasped. "I know who he is. He's... one of my agents."  
"What?!" Garrus exclaimed. "Well, what do you have on him?"  
"Apparently not all his known aliases," Sidonis said as Liara worked on another screen again to pull up his information.

  
"I have hundreds of agents, many of which have been in the position longer than I have," Liara explained, knowing Garrus would understand.  
"You didn't build your network on your own?" Sidonis asked, raising a brow.  
"She inherited it," Garrus said simply.  
"I haven't studied all of my team yet. And even the ones I have, there's a very specific relationship in place. I don't ever meet any of them in person and very little of their own information is collected, unless there's reason for it. Much of their lives are their own."  
"So what _do_ you have?" Garrus pressed, eager to have some kind of lead to work with. 

  
"The name I have that's been verified is Alvord Sumner, though I'm sure none of his recent history will be linked to that name. Garrus, he's actually the agent I almost sent you and Shepard to check on the other day. A lot of his work is related to the drug blackout, dealing and tracking the movements of it..."  
"That's what takes away your sight and hearing," Sidonis commented.  
"Right. Something seemed off, like the amounts weren't reflecting accurately. I was going to send you two in and stage a large purchase. But, the picture I have of him must be years old... he looks much younger and doesn't have any facial hair." Liara rubbed her temples. "Glyph, put updating agent images on my to do list," she called over her shoulder.  
"Of course, Dr. T'Soni," came the VI reply.

  
"Did I mention she inherited the network _recently_?" Garrus asked Sidonis.  
"It's okay, Garrus. You don't have to make excuses for me. There's a lot I simply haven't gotten to yet," Liara sighed.  
"Does this guy have any known safehouses? Owned properties? Favorite locations?" Garrus asked, getting them back on task.  
"There is something," Liara said, the light on her face shifting again as she pulled up a file. "It's from years ago. He was second in command for a mission that infiltrated a facility running experiments on vorcha, of all species. Something about trying to utilize certain evolution traits of the species... the job was simply to go in and destroy everything, and everyone. Apparently the first in command was killed, and Alvord asked to take responsibility for the location. The previous owner of this network granted it. There's not any updates since then, but I have a location!"  
"What is it?" Garrus said urgently.  
"It's a large asteroid classified only as RGN-008/657. I'll make sure EDI has the coordinates," Liara replied.

  
"Do you have anything on how big the facility itself is?" Sidonis asked. Liara looked back to her data.  
"This is just from agent reports... but it looks like there were basic living accommodations for about twenty staff. At the time it was five scientists and fifteen armed security personnel, mostly to handle the vorcha. The lead scientist had his own office and suite. There are over twenty... holding spaces."  
"That sounds like what I was expecting," Sidonis replied, then looked to Garrus, who was looking down with his arms crossed. 

  
"Liara, can you get us another ship?" he asked suddenly.  
"Why can't you use the Normandy?" she asked, confused.   
"We can, and we will, to get our people there," Garrus began. "But it may be more than Shepard that we rescue, and there's a good chance they will all need some form of medical attention, and then we have to find out what to do with them. There may even be enemy prisoners. The Normandy doesn't have the med bay or cells to handle either of those scenarios. I mean, we've got crew living in cargo space already. Plus, if Shepard is in bad shape... some privacy may be preferred before she comes back aboard. You know as well as I do that she will want to return a victor, not a victim."

  
"Mmm. I see what you mean. You need something more like a civilian transport," Liara agreed, frowning. "But I'm afraid I can't get you a ship."  
"Why not?" Garrus asked, raising a brow.   
"My main asset is information, not tangible resources. If I use my position to pull strings personally, it compromises Shepard and my identity. She has enough enemies without taking on the ones after me as well. It could also endanger other victims," Liara explained. "Is there some other powerful person you can leverage?" Garrus looked thoughtful again.  
"Any other connections from your time on Omega?" Sidonis asked. Garrus suddenly looked up.  
"Oh, of course," he said quietly, and his eyes sparked with the fire of the perfect plan. "We're going to ask Omega herself."


	5. Identities

Shepard had remained unbothered long enough for her hair and clothes to almost dry. She wished she could tell the passage of time more accurately. She knew about how long her hair took to dry, but it varied depending on the humidity of the room...  
Her wounds seemed to not have bled too bad, but her skin pulled uncomfortably with every movement. Her tank top needed frequent adjustment to keep it from sticking to the one of her back.  
The moisture on her skin reminded her to stay hydrated. She stood and carefully found her way back to the shower, turned it on, and drank a few handfuls. She turned the water off and was creating some distance from the shower when what felt like a human hand grasped as much of her hair as it could, and tugged.

  
Shepard spun with her hands open, hoping to catch some part of the attacker. Her left hand found a small blade of some kind and her right hand found the hand gripping the blade's handle. Gritting her teeth she held tight to both, feeling the blade cut into her palm. The hand attempted to pull back but she was stronger than she looked and managed to keep them in place. Still, she knew that if this was Upholder, and she was betting it was, he had a lot of strength too.  
She brought both her legs forward, attempting to take his out from under him as she aimed the blade up and over her shoulder. She got lucky and caught one of his knees, causing him to stumble and both of their hands gripping the blade to crash into the floor as he fell forward. She felt his body next to hers and he started to give up his grip. She let go of his hand so he could, then held the blade in front of her as she got onto her knees. She raised it and then brought it down as she pushed herself forward, hoping to catch him before he moved.

  
She never found out how close she got. Before her upper body or the blade came down, her body froze, and she felt the tingling energy of biotics around her arms and torso. She shouted in frustration; she must have been close if the situation called for intervention. Was Upholder biotic? Or did he have assistance? The biotic energy became stronger around her hands and ripped them open painfully, the blade dropping from her hands.  
"That was sloppy," Shepard jabbed, scowling.

  
A hand gripped the cord between her wrists when the biotics let go of her and quickly yanked her to the side, off balance. Shepard was dragged towards the other side of the room, too fast for her to get her feet under her and resist. She gripped the hand pulling her, fighting and scratching, but the blood from her left hand made it slick and her assailant persisted.  
The restraints around her ankles resisted and she realized she had reached the end of her range in the other direction. She was dropped and landed flat on the ground, face down. She started to pull her arms under her but then something was looped around the cord between her wrists and pulled tight.  
Shepard grimaced; she was fully extended on the ground, her arms above her head and unable to bend her legs or hips more than a couple inches.  
"Decided I am too much for you, huh?! Even when I'm drugged?" she growled.

  
Again, a hand gathered her hair just behind her neck, and held it away from her body. She felt small tugs and then parts of her hair were released, and that's when she realized what was happening. She scowled but stayed still, feeling the weight of her hair drift away.   
She felt ankles on either side of her torso, then hands on her left shoulder and hip as the man straddled her and then began to rotate her onto her back. She cooperated and once on her back, glared up to where she imagined he might be.  
"You're welcome for the trophy," she hissed. The thick hand that had previously been manhandling her now gently stroked her cheek. She turned away defiantly. For a moment nothing happened, and then the legs on either side of her went away.

  
Could that be it? Would she be left like this?  
She waited...

  
Shepard gasped then grunted as something pressed down onto her stomach. As the weight shifted she realized it was a knee and shin, pinning her down. She thought to make some other quip, but before she could formulate the words the next assault came.  
Searing heat pressed itself against Shepard's chest, right over her heart. She sucked air in through her teeth and arched away as much as she could, but could barely move a few inches. She gritted her teeth until the heat was removed, then took long, shaky breaths.

  
But it wasn't over. It pressed in again, closer to her shoulder now and Shepard again steeled herself against the pain. The tool was removed, then again returned, and Shepard did her best to focus on her breathing instead of the layers of skin melting away. A fourth time on her chest, and she realized the tool was in the shape of an X.  
Then the heat was gone, and the weight over her waist disappeared also. She thought perhaps that was all for now... until the person returned, kneeling over her thighs now, and the burning cross planted itself just above her right hipbone. She hadn't been prepared and let out a shout, more full of anger than pain. She groaned the whole time until the heat source went away.  
Then she was no longer being knelt on. She felt whatever her restraints were bound to shift, and she was released. Gasping, cringing, and tears in her eyes she curled into herself, not all the way, but some. She opened her eyes, and though she could not see, she knew Upholder would be looking for something there. And she would let him see it: pure fury.  
  
*****  
  
Afterlife was not just a club; it was an experience, one that many did not forget. There was more there than drinks and dancing asari to take in. Garrus wondered if it was simply Aria's dominion that created that subtle undertone in the atmosphere. No matter how one felt about her, all would agree she was a force to be reckoned with.

  
As soon as Garrus and Sidonis had finished talking with Liara, the Normandy had left Illium for Omega. Garrus had given a sloppy sitrep to the crew. He knew how to deliver a sitrep, and he knew the crew was worried too, but sitting and thinking and talking was difficult. It didn't feel productive, and he was desperate for some progressive action to take.  
And yet, here he was, to simply sit and talk with Aria. He didn't know how it would go, but he felt the odds were good. He'd thought the entire way over about how to present the proposition, and he knew enough about Aria to feel confident that he would at least pique her interest.  
But there was nothing at stake for her. And a lot at stake for him.

  
He'd come alone, wearing full armor, even his helmet. Sidonis stayed on the Normandy, probably hiding awkwardly in whatever empty space he could find. Garrus knew more people wouldn't help anything anyway.  
The added mystery of his face being concealed attracted some attention as he sauntered through the bar, which was exactly what he wanted. He hadn't even been questioned when he entered, because he knew that half of getting your way in Omega was how you presented yourself.  
He took his time, feeling and looking confident, meeting the eyes of some patrons, but never stopping on his way to the back staircase. Rather than wait for the turian guard to come to him, he approached the guard as if that was who he intended to talk to all along.

  
"Archangel is requesting an audience with Aria," he announced smoothly. He watched the guard looked shocked, then confused, then simply nod and turn to deliver the message. Garrus raised his head, satisfied that Archangel's reputation was still in tact, even if he was supposedly dead.  
He was fairly sure he heard Aria laugh over all the noise. He looked up and saw her looking in his direction, a smirk of amusement on her face.  
Her interest was definitely piqued.

  
The guard returned and gestured for Garrus to continue up the stairs. Aria was seated in her usual spot, arms spread wide and legs crossed, anticipation evident in her expression. He took a seat, realizing after the fact that it was the place he had always seen Shepard sit when she visited Aria. He tried not to think about it.

  
"You've been quiet for a while, Archangel," Aria commented, still smirking but her eyes narrowed a little. "I didn't think I'd have a chance to meet you. That is, assuming it really is you."  
"We both know it's not the first time someone back from the dead has come to have a chat," Garrus replied, removing his helmet. Aria narrowed her eyes further, her smirk fading.  
"You're one of Commander Shepard's followers. I remember you," she said flatly. Garrus didn't waste any time.  
"Archangel left most of your affairs alone," he began, "but not all of them. Burtann Tezon was delivered to your lower VIP doors dead from a single pistol shot at close range. This was weeks before rumors of Archangel began. He was helping himself to your supply of hallex, which he was supposed to be simply managing. Farok Brad'reh was misusing slaves. He caught a shotgun blast from one of my team 87 days before Archangel was supposedly killed. 63 days before my death, Aulter Murraka... he was embezzling, but my bullet struck his chest because he had beat his asari mate when she tried to warn him about crossing you." Garrus nodded in the direction of one of the batarian guards standing nearby. He had gotten exceptionally lucky and recognized him.

  
"Odacor was there. He can verify Aulter's lasts words were 'How did Aria find out? Who sold me out?' He thought you had placed the hit on him."  
Aria looked at Odacor who shifted uncomfortably, then gave a small nod.  
"How is Ireymey, his mate, doing?" Garrus asked the batarian, but Aria answered.  
"She found out she was pregnant and returned to Illium to be with her sisters shortly after Aulter was killed," Aria said quietly. Garrus leaned forward, looking at her intensely.  
"I _am_ part of Shepard's team and I _am_ Archangel," he said firmly.  
"Alright, you've made your point," Aria conceded, a bit of her smirk returning. "What brings you here, then, without the mighty Commander?" Garrus sat back again, taking a quick breath and preparing himself for the hard part of the conversation.

  
"I'm in need of resources and there's benefits to you if you help me," he started.  
"Don't be vague, Archangel. It doesn't suit you," Aria snapped. "Is Shepard involved?" Garrus shifted into straight-shooter mode. He'd done enough to earn credibility and now it was time to be upfront.  
"Shepard was abducted. She's at a facility with a small team of security and several others who will need medical attention. My intel says it's likely she's temporarily debilitated."  
"She should have known better," Aria scoffed. Garrus's eyes narrowed dangerously.   
"You've never been taken advantage of in a vulnerable moment?" he growled. Aria glared back, but said nothing. He had gotten lucky again with that assumption.  
"Do you know who has her?" Aria eventually asked.  
"He calls himself Upholder. He has a number of different aliases," he replied.

  
"I know him," Aria interjected.  
"You know him?" Garrus asked, eyes widening.  
"Well, I know of him," Aria corrected, looking at her men on the stairs. "He's targeted my men before, leaves a message with someone. As far as I know he still has two of them. One has been returned. He's a broken mess, useless to me now." She looked pointedly at Garrus. "There may not be much of Shepard left."  
"She hasn't been there long, and she's stronger than your men," he insisted.  
"That may be true," Aria agreed. "So what is it you need, and what do I get out of this arrangement?"  
"The Normandy is not equipped for handling the amount of victims and prisoners we may take on. I need a ship that is closer to civilian transport. It doesn't need firepower, just capacity for thirty people or so."

  
"A whole ship?" Aria asked, not expecting such a tall order. Garrus pressed on.  
"And a pilot, a few medical personnel, and if you'd like to send some of your own ground troops, you can. We're not expecting heavy resistance. But, when we're through, there will be an uninhabited facility. That location can be yours as part of the trade."  
"What makes you think I have use for a facility such as that?" Aria asked, raising a brow.  
"It can be used for many purposes, and Omega has been fully utilized for a long time," Garrus explained.  
"Is that it?" Aria asked.  
"Shepard and I are useful people to have that owe you a favor," he said simply.

  
"Now that is tempting," Aria hummed, then raised a brow. "You speak for Shepard?" Garrus paused, unprepared for that question.  
"Any favor you ask, she gets to approve of," he added as a disclaimer. "I may be a little more... flexible."  
"You mean have a lower moral standard," Aria clarified.  
"If that's what it will cost me," he agreed. Aria appeared thoughtful and looked Garrus up and down.

  
"There's one problem. If you're in love with her, and you're in charge, your feelings may cloud your judgment," she stated. Garrus's mandibles twitched uncomfortably and he made a conscious effort to still them. He didn't know what to say and Aria smirked and continued.  
"Each one of my men you killed had problems with females. Your chivalry is too blatant for you to hide. This is your knight in shining armor mission," she mocked. Garrus squared his shoulders, refusing to lose credibility now by attempting to dispute her comments.

  
"So what if it is? Send your own men and put one of them in charge of your people then. My only goals are Shepard safe and Upholder dealt with. Rescuing the other victims will be simple," he snapped. Aria chuckled.  
"Your openness is refreshing," she told him. Garrus didn't move, waiting expectantly. "I can have the assets ready two days from now. You'll have to brief the personnel yourself."  
"Two days?" Garrus repeated, growling. "Every moment there is a new level of hell for her." Aria gave him a look that somehow held equal parts frustration and amusement.  
"This is exactly the kind of blindness your love will cost you," she said pointedly. "The guy I got back? He was with Upholder for three weeks. Didn't you just get through telling me she's made of more than my men?"  
"But she deserves better!" he snapped.

  
"Well, contrary to popular karmic belief, what we deserve actually has very little to do with what we get," Aria growled. Garrus fumed silently as she continued, "You better prove to me you have some self-control by dismissing yourself now, or else you might have to wait three days. The ship and crew will be waiting for Archangel in two days at dock C5." She looked away from him, her tone making it clear that she was done entertaining his company.  
Garrus felt like he was made of stone with how difficult it was to get his body to do as told. He stiffly picked up his helmet and placed it on his head, still glaring daggers at Aria that she didn't care to notice. He looked away as he stood up and then continued down the stairs without giving her another glance.  
  
*****  
  
Pressure. Crushing. Gasping.  
Shepard's eyes flew open, not that it made any difference, and she flailed against the force above her. It's hands, human, were around her neck and pressing down. There was one knee over her torso again, also pinning down her wrists near her hips. It felt the same as the one who had burned her.  
She coughed and fought for air, looking for leverage with her hands. She could grasp at parts of his leg but not enough to do any damage. She brought her own legs up, and her knees connected with his back and head a couple times, but with barely enough force to make him shift his weight.

  
Shepard was about to lose consciousness when the hands lifted away partially. She coughed and sucked in lungfuls desperately, trying not to think about how she still felt his hands against her skin.  
She got three deep breaths before the pressure returned. It didn't cut her airflow off completely, but nearly so, and she was forced to hack and rasp again. Her heart was pounding, her adrenaline response taking over and flooding her with panic.  
A reprieve, again, and she was allowed a few more full breaths. She threw everything she had into one full body motion, attempting to slide herself out from under his leg and at least get her hands in front of her. But she was too weak from the sustained oxygen loss, and a quick adjustment had her back at his mercy.  
The hands came back and a groan escaped her before once again breathing became her only priority. She came closer to losing consciousness quickly now, and when the air came back she felt tears burst from her eyes, but she coughed away any sobs. Her body's fear was far outweighing her mental capacity to keep a calm, level head.

  
Twice more the pressure returned, keeping her conscious, but also as oxygen deprived as possible. The last time he let go, he moved completely away from her, and Shepard scrambled backwards. It didn't matter if she had no where to go, her body was screaming at her to move. She retreated through something wet on the ground, perhaps water from when she rinsed her burns before resting. But something about it felt different...  
She bumped into something on the floor and recoiled, then became still. She gingerly touched her throat, knowing it had to be badly bruised, as she tried to establish normal function of her airway. She took shaky breaths, feeling the oxygen spread back to her limbs. Once she felt her heart rate begin to return to normal, she extended a hand out to where she had felt the obstruction.

  
Her hand landed on something firm, covered in fabric, about the same shape as her leg, only bigger... Shepard balked, pulling her hand back.  
It was a leg. It was a turian leg. And it wasn't moving.  
Something inside of her wanted to scream. She wondered if she even could at this point, and what it would be like to not be able to hear it.  
If she didn't investigate further, would it go away? No, she determined. There was some message she hadn't found yet.  
Focusing on her breath and willing herself to be in control, she placed a hand back on the turian leg. The body seemed to be lying flat on its back. She shook the leg slightly, trying to see if she would get a response. There was none. She followed it up, crawling forward, and about near the hip her other hand felt the same liquid on the floor as before.  
It was blood, and while there was no way for her to tell, she was sure it was turian blue.

  
Her hand slid over the torso... there was no movement of breathing, only more blood. She moved further upward and found a wound of some kind. She didn't want to investigate but it felt like that of a large blade. She tried to move on but only found more wounds. She pulled back her hand.  
This was the message. It was about Garrus. She was to think it was him.  
But it couldn't be him... could it?  
She realized she didn't know enough about turian body structure variance to tell. There sure seemed to be a lot less than in humans. Surely some must be taller, or shorter, but every turian she had seen was strong and fit. Without her sight she had yet to discover evidence that it wasn't Garrus...

  
But that would mean he'd been captured too. And that wouldn't happen to him, would it?  
Wouldn't she have said the same about herself?  
Wouldn't Upholder have bragged about capturing him if he had?  
Shepard made a sound between a groan and a whimper. She knew what she had to do, and that she was over analyzing because she dreaded doing it. Inaction and thinking of potentialities was hell but it was easier than what she might discover.  
She found the turian's shoulder and cowl, but over the head and neck was a mesh-like bag that caused Shepard to balk and whimper again.

  
_I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this._

  
Some part of her knew she had to. She had to check for scars.  
Slowly, carefully, she found the top of the bag and removed it. She'd been around and seen plenty of death, but this level of handling something dead, especially for the purpose of blindly identifying it, was beyond her scope of casual acceptance. She placed the bag over the turian's chest and found his neck, nearly gagging at the large gash there that had slit his throat. Her fingers found a mandible and then spread across the side of the dead turian's face.

  
There were abnormalities... but they were wrong. It was small cuts, not yet healed as if someone had tried to replicate Garrus's scars. But they couldn't replicate the same tearing and burns and exact level of healing Shepard had become so familiar with.  
She exhaled in relief, her shoulders slumping as if whatever had been holding her up just snapped. Tears flowed down her cheeks as adrenaline turned to emotion and a couple sobs escaped her.

  
She pushed herself far away from the body, sickened that this unknown turian had suffered just to play a part in Upholder's game. Her hands and legs were still sticky with his blood.  
She carefully stood on shaky feet and again worked out where the faucet was. When she got there she turned it on and sat on the floor in the middle of the flow, curled up with her hands and head resting on her knees. She tried to imagine the water washing away the fear, the panic, the shock, the ache in her heart... but it seemed more securely stuck to her than the blood that slowly slipped away.


	6. Advances

The water turned off and Shepard stiffened. Was someone near her? She'd sat there for a while; twenty minutes? Thirty? She reached up and felt the lever. It was still turned to on. Perhaps it was an automatic timer?  
Lacking her vision and hearing was only getting more frustrating and anxiety-inducing. It was a brilliant tactic, really. Vulnerability was, to some degree, part of being a soldier.  
But not like this.

  
Shepard slowly rose to her feet. She moved away from the shower, but stayed close to the wall, going the opposite direction from the turian body. She hoped it had already been removed, but she wasn't going to check.  
Staying standing, she decided to do some easy stretches as she checked in on her wounds. Several of them hurt all the time, but she knew how to continue on with pain.  
She arched her body to either side, arms over her head. The lashes from the whip didn't tear as easily anymore, but they did sting and protest with movement.   
She bent forward and touched her toes. Her burns made it hard to breathe, shifting with every inhale and exhale. They were like sharp bruises that were constantly getting pushed on.  
So far, all of her wounds would likely heal very effectively when given the proper chance. It was possible Chakwas could even make sure they didn't scar. But in the meantime, they were left to aid in accomplishing the ultimate goal: slowly wear her down.

  
Very carefully, she rolled her shoulders. She couldn't remember the last time her head hadn't hurt, and she guessed her neck would be the same for a while. She tried not to think about her hair.  
She attempted to roll her neck very carefully, more out of habit than anything, but immediately regretted it. Intense dizziness overtook her and she stumbled forward, but found something there to brace against.  
Shepard froze. Two arms had reached out and she'd caught them to catch herself. She could feel the softness of expensive clothing, and the shape of a sturdy human forearm and bicep underneath. She wasn't sure what to do. Had he been standing that close, watching? For how long? Was he always standing that close?  
She began to feel sick. She straightened herself and shoved him as hard as she could, sidestepping to try and get around him.

  
"I'd rather fall on my face," she spat, and began to carefully step closer to the middle of the room.  
The band that kept her range restricted suddenly struck the front of her lower legs, sweeping them both out from under her at once. She managed to get her arms in front of her, but fell from her palms to elbows as her head throbbed and the room slightly spun. She placed her forehead on the cool, hard ground to try and still it and laughed dryly.  
"That's more like it."

  
Lying there on her stomach, one of his hands began to stroke her shoulder. It was heavy and slow, but not painful. It was a gentle gesture, testing her level of tolerance.  
Shepard recognized that some part of her was eager for any interaction that wasn't threatening, but a larger part of her knew that any interaction here would be a threat. She got her knees under her and shuffled away, turning to sit facing where she felt he was, eyes narrowed.  
The band between her wrists got yanked forward and up, causing her chest to crash into him. She realized he was kneeling on one knee and holding her wrists above her head, nearly straddling her with his hips even with her ribcage. She felt his other hand begin to run his fingers through her now-short hair and she shuddered.  
Shepard quickly pushed with her left foot on the floor to get her hips further away from him, then flexed her right hip in far enough to get the bottom of her foot against his pelvis and kicked. Her wrists were dropped and she felt him hunch over before she pushed herself further away.  
She would've used anything she could for the leverage, but she was rather satisfied that what happened to be available was a kick to the groin.

  
"Might want to think twice about getting intimate with me," she growled. "I think I prefer the burns."  
A long enough moment passed that Shepard thought perhaps she would be left alone again for a while... The miniscule pushes and pulls of a stasis field surrounding her dashed those hopes. She was fully engulfed and unable to move. Would he give her more burns, as she mentioned? No, it was his hands that returned.  
His fingers were back, running along her scalp and through her hair, and the other stroking her waist. The rest of his body was close, too, sitting in front of her. He leaned in and Shepard felt his shoulder against her chest, his breath in the crook of her neck, his beard against her cheek.  
She grit her teeth and closed her eyes as his hands continued to explore. She could speak, but she was too furious to think of anything that might enrage him enough to do something different.

  
She took her mind somewhere else. Somewhere neutral. She thought of one of the times she had spent the night alone in the lounge on the Normandy, watching the stars out the window. It had been just after she was resurrected. Her cabin hadn't felt familiar yet. She'd accidentally gotten too comfortable and fallen asleep on the couch there.  
She tried to bring back every detail...  
The light was dim, but bluish and purple from the small bar.  
One hand was stroking her thigh.  
The stars were as infinite as they always were, and Shepard found the wide window both comforting and unsettling.  
She felt teeth on her shoulder and kept her breathing even.  
The hum of the lights and cooler played a high-pitch harmony compared to the low rumble of the Normandy's engines.  
A hand ran down her back, digging in fingernails before squeezing her hip painfully.  
The couch's thick, rough fabric was leaving tiny imprints on her scarred face, but it didn't matter.  
The stasis field flexed enough to allow her head to lean back as her hair was gently tugged on, causing her heart rate to speed up slightly as her bruised neck was exposed.  
There was a small, empty bag of shortbread cookies on the coffee table. She'd found them in a cupboard and immediately chosen to devour them all. They had been the best cookies she could remember.  
Lips and heavy breath pressed against her ear as hands carved new paths along her back and shoulders.  
The Normandy still smelled "new". It didn't smell like home. But she preferred that; it was a new start, after all. The smell of the cookies and the fancy shampoo her shower had been stocked with were at least beginning to create something personal.  
His hands were in more and more invasive places, sliding under clothing, but most of Shepard was far away, on the Normandy, watching the stars.  
  
*****  
  
Garrus was trying hard not to go insane and it was only halfway working. Most of the crew was anxious too and didn't know how to help. The most useful thing had been sparring with Grunt, but his mental stress had outlasted his physical endurance. All it did was take the edge off and leave him sore.  
He'd taken a shower after and tried to drag it out, lingering and focusing solely on the water. It had worked for a long time but he couldn't stay there forever.  
Most of the crew gave him a wide berth as he returned to the main battery. He'd considered hiding away in Shepard's cabin but realized that would probably be unhelpful for his mental state.  
The doors whisked open and Sidonis quickly rose from the box he had been sitting on, facing Garrus. Garrus just stared at him.

  
"Er, sorry, I was trying to keep myself out of the way of the crew," Sidonis apologized. "And I thought I'd see if I could help you kill some time. Does the Normandy have some place adequate for sparring?"  
"I actually just finished doing that with Grunt. He's the krogan," Garrus explained.  
"Ah, well, then I have the next best thing," Sidonis replied, picking up a pack of six small, slender canisters he had stashed against the wall while he waited. The label was red with a purple, goofy-looking turian cartoon that somewhat resembled Councilor Sparatus. Garrus's eyes widened slightly.  
"Is that sancso?" he asked, recognizing the label.  
"I made a stop on Omega myself," Sidonis explained, nodding. "They're still out of business, but I had some connections holding onto a few packs for me." He handed the whole pack to Garrus, who chuckled a little.

  
"Wow. It's been a while since I've thought about this stuff," Garrus said.  
"Grundan Krul's 45th birthday," Sidonis remembered with a laugh. "He wasn't even interested in celebrating but we kept him up all night."  
"With Melenis and Mierin," Garrus said quietly, staring at the bright pink liquid. There was a pause between them. Part of Garrus couldn't believe he was accepting a gift from Sidonis and speaking his squadmates' names with him. He'd done enough thinking to see Sidonis as more of a victim than a murderous mastermind, but he still knew he held responsibility in their deaths. And yet, with all that had happened, he knew there were bigger problems that needed dealing with. In addition, Sidonis had earned a lot of good will by getting Garrus on Upholder's trail.  
He didn't want to think about measuring the evil of his squad's deaths against the value of getting Shepard back. He was done playing judge, jury, and executioner... at least for that event. Sidonis saved him from the math by speaking up.

  
"...anyway, I figure you've got just enough time to have a few bottles and let the hangover metabolize it's way off before we need to be ready for action," Sidonis said, clearing his throat.  
"I suppose that's right," Garrus said. He stepped further into the battery and set the pack down, pulling one out. Sidonis looked about ready to dismiss himself, but Garrus offered him a bottle, too, barely making eye contact. "You know this stuff is better with company."  
"Thank you," Sidonis said, dipping his head in gratitude and accepting the bottle.

  
"There's not much seating in here, but you already know the boxes in here make decent chairs," Garrus grumbled, seating himself down on the floor and leaning back against the wall. As he began opening his drink, Sidonis sat back down on the box he'd been on previously and asked, "So, sparring with a krogan? What's that like?"  
"Most of the time," Garrus began, shaking his head quickly at the tangy drink, "not near as exciting as typical turian tussles. Grunt obviously is massive and has incredible instincts, but no formal technique training."  
"Does he need technique? I mean, the size and strength difference..." Sidonis asked, raising his brow.  
"Well, most of the time, no," Garrus cleared his throat. "Every now and then I can pull a fast one and get him to stumble into a crate, or pinned into a corner. He's essentially a moving punching bag that knocks me down sometimes." He chuckled. "I think he humors me but also uses it as a chance to study me. I don't mind. We're good squadmates."  
"Who else goes out in the field with you?" Sidonis asked, finishing off a large gulp.  
"There's usually three of us at a time, and Shepard and I make up two... It varies depending on the mission, but I tend to have the most fun with Grunt and Mordin. We do even have a geth on board, if you haven't run into him yet."  
"I did," Sidonis said, mandibles twitching. "He stared at me for a long time and I didn't really know what to do about it..."  
"Yeah, he does that."

  
"Has Shepard always had you come on most missions?" Sidonis asked.  
"Well... yes," Garrus replied. "In the beginning, when we were after Saren and the geth, I think she was trying to make sure the non-humans felt well represented on an Alliance ship. By the time we were caught up to Saren, it was clear we worked exceptionally well together."  
"What was that like? You didn't talk about your time with her with the squad."  
"Because Weaver talked about her too much," Garrus growled, taking another drink.  
"That's right," Sidonis chuckled. "His face when you gave him that warning shot... I don't think anyone said a word about your history after that."  
"I was rather... high strung at that time. I wasn't interested in calmly explaining to him that he could keep his fantasies to himself."  
"I don't blame you," Sidonis agreed, downing more sancso and leaning back. "I know things aren't ideal right now, but you do seem a bit more... relaxed."  
"You should see me on a good day," Garrus scoffed. "I suppose Shepard has a lot to do with my mellowing out."

  
"The right female does tend to have that effect," Sidonis agreed with a chuckle. "Did you love her before she died?"  
Garrus stared at Sidonis, caught off guard by the question. Sidonis's mandibles twitched and he looked away.  
"Er, sorry, that was probably the sancso making me too nosy," he apologized, holding up his almost empty canister.  
Garrus was still for a moment, considering what to do next. He could stop sharing and make Sidonis too nervous to talk for the rest of the night, or he could decide to say "screw it" and dive into a night of mindless rambling, supported by sancso and lowered inhibitions. Maybe he had already had enough sancso, or maybe he just felt the opportunity to decompress... he threw back what was left of his drink then pulled out two new ones for each of them.

  
"No, I didn't love her before the first Normandy was destroyed..." he began, handing Sidonis his second drink. Sidonis finished off his first one as he continued. "But I had a lot of... strong emotions about the whole thing. The Normandy is more a home to me than anywhere, and I respected Shepard more than anyone else in the galaxy. When they were gone, it felt like a personal offense. My ship was gone, my Commander was spaced... I was furious. But... there was nothing to do about it."  
"Except shoot thugs on Omega," Sidonis offered.  
"I'll drink to that," Garrus replied. They both briefly lifted their canisters then took a drink. "I'm glad to be doing other things now," he said after a pause, staring down into his drink, "but I don't regret Archangel." There was another small pause and Sidonis broke it this time.

  
"How long have you and Shepard been in a relationship? You two already looked very comfortable with each other..." Sidonis took a drink to hide his embarrassment at having spied on them, and Garrus took a larger one to prepare himself for talking about his relationship. He exhaled heavily and rubbed the back of his neck.  
"We didn't really have an official beginning, so it's hard to say how long it's been..." he explained, then chuckled. "She actually started it."  
"She did?" Sidonis said with a grin.  
"Yeah," Garrus replied, sitting up a little straighter. "I told her about sparring on turian ships before high-stress missions and how it can sometimes lead to other activities."  
"The rematch," Sidonis confirmed, nodding.  
"Exactly!" Garrus laughed, briefly pointing in his direction. "She suggested our own 'rematch' and I was caught completely off guard. She was almost too casual to be considered seductive, and at first I thought she was suggesting it as just a casual thing. Most 'rematches' are about the moment, not a relationship. And I was fine with that..."  
"But then it wasn't casual anymore?" Sidonis asked, smirking.

  
"I had a lot of time to think about what it meant before it happened, and the more I did, the more I realized that I would be thrilled to have it become an actual relationship," Garrus admitted. "We already had been through a lot together and had all the respect and trust an official relationship would. And the more we talked about it, it seemed like she felt the same way... but I didn't want to presume anything or pressure her. She already has a lot to deal with without me pestering her about her feelings."  
"Garrus, you're probably the most chivalrous turian I've ever met," Sidonis interjected emphatically.  
"Gotta be great at something," Garrus shrugged.  
"Because the sniping skills, tech expertise, helping chase down Saren, suicide missions, and Archangel weren't enough," Sidonis pointed out, raising a brow.  
"Don't forget this voice," Garrus said smoothly. Sidonis just stared at him. "...uh, Shepard says it's like velvet..."  
"What's velvet?" Sidonis asked flatly.  
"It's a fuzzy human fabric."  
"Oh."  
After staring at each other for a moment, Garrus snickered and then Sidonis chuckled, and soon they both were laughing. The sancso was starting to get to them both. Several minutes later they were catching their breath.

  
"So, when did you tell her what you wanted?" Sidonis asked, still grinning.  
"Well, it was right before our suicide mission when it happened," Garrus began, unable to get rid of his smirk. "When she was asleep I left a message on her omnitool, then gave her space so she could prepare for the mission in peace. I didn't want her to think I was just skipping out, you know..." Sidonis nodded and he continued, both having calmed down now. "I didn't tell her I loved her then, but I said a lot of other things that basically meant the same thing. And then our nights together just... continued."  
"You sure seem to have a good thing going," Sidonis commented, finishing off his second drink.  
"Yeah. Yeah I do."

  
"I appreciate you telling me about it. I know it may not be what you ever imagined yourself doing, and you may be wondering why I even care, but I do," Sidonis told him.  
"Why?" Garrus asked, raising a brow. Sidonis let out a heavy sigh.  
"I did a terrible thing to our squad. I like to think that the others have perhaps found some measure of peace, wherever they are, but you are the one still living with it... I don't expect the taint of what I did to not leave its mark on your life, but... I'm glad to hear you're finding plenty of happiness and fulfillment now, regardless of what I've done," he explained. Garrus frowned and looked down at his drink as Sidonis continued. "Something I've been learning is how nearly anything is possible in this universe. I've heard stories of others going through terrible things they never expected, as well as people ending up in a much more favorable position than they expected. Things can change fast and you never know what they'll turn into. It gives me hope for my own future."

  
"You're becoming an idealist," Garrus commented, then downed the last gulp in his canister.  
"Maybe," Sidonis shrugged. "With all that you and Shepard face and hope to survive, wouldn't you say you are as well?"  
"I suppose, in some ways. We've certainly managed to create some ideal situations out of rather difficult ones."  
There was another pause as he looked at the last two sancso thoughtfully. With a grunt he pulled them out and leaned forward to hand one to Sidonis.  
"We'd better give this last bottle the funny story it deserves before we start laughing at things that aren't funny," he suggested, opening his own and taking a drink.  
"I could tell you about the time I ended up so drunk I took home two drell women and they proceeded to recount every single one of my mishaps from the night with their perfect memory," Sidonis offered.  
Garrus nearly choked on the sancso in his throat and laughed.  
"That sounds like it will do the trick!"  
Sidonis grinned and opened his last canister as he began the story.  
"Let me preface this by saying that I've kept in touch with Orunmi and Oyasra, and I consider them friends, regardless of our rocky introduction..."  
  
*****  
  
Shepard was dreaming. She was getting spaced again, but this time there was no Normandy wreckage surrounding her. She could see a planet she couldn't name and a beautiful sun in the distance... but breathing was difficult, and she was cold. Panic was rising up inside of her.  
There was nothing to grasp or fight. Just space and no orientation of up or down or safe or home. She felt tingling all over, like pins and needles under her skin. She tried calling for help, utterly lost. She was spinning involuntarily, the planet, sun, and endless stars whirling past her eyes.

  
Then she stopped and she saw Garrus. He was floating too, in full armor. Hope surged in her and for some reason, so did hurt. He turned his head to look at her, but then was completely still. Shepard tried to call out to him, to reach forward, but he didn't react, just stared at her. She felt confused and frustrated.  
In reaching she suddenly felt resistance. She pushed against it, just a black void, and it flexed away and then in. Then there was pressure on her leg. She kicked and it seemed to mold around her. The panic was back, taking her over. She kicked and flailed as some kind of liquid tar moved in and slowly enveloped her.  
She tried to scream and woke herself up. Her heart was racing and hot tears were welling up in her eyes. She wiped them away rapidly, part of her still feeling like she was moving through sludge.

  
Staring at the floor, she blinked her eyes. She could see white. She placed her hand on the floor in front if her. It was exceptionally blurry, but she could see the vague shape of her hand and its color. She was about to look up when she heard muffled tones. She remained still. Her sight and hearing were coming back, and someone was talking. Was this intentional? Had they been continuing to dose her and stopped? Or was she metabolizing the drug faster than expected?  
She couldn't tell what the voice was saying, but it seemed there was only one. If this wasn't intentional, maybe this was an opportunity...

  
She slowly moved to a sitting position, making a conscious effort to not focus on anything in particular. She could see someone standing on the far side of the room, closer to the door. Keeping him only in her peripherals, she was still fairly sure it was Upholder from his dark hair and stature.  
Carefully moving to her feet, she turned her back on him and walked towards the back wall. She let her eyes focus a little more thoroughly but didn't turn her head, still holding her hands out in front of her. She passed a blue stain on the floor and tried not to think about it.  
Eventually she hit the wall, then followed it to her left to find the faucet. The speaking had stopped. Once she found the faucet she turned the lever and saw in her peripheral that Upholder was moving closer. Now she made a conscious effort not to flinch or tense.

  
Having already showered extensively before, she just put her hand in the water and let it sit for a moment. By the time she was cupping her hands and taking drinks, Upholder was only a few feet from her side.  
Shepard's mind was racing. What could she do?! If she knew he had a gun, that would be the best play, but she probably couldn't look that closely without giving herself away... She could just throw herself at him, but she wouldn't be able to do much before he simply used stasis to get her off. Her body was working so hard to heal the various injuries that even moving quickly and efficiently was not something she could count on.  
Her only worthwhile offensive strategy would have to be fast, devastating, and undoubtedly, a surprise.

  
Upholder muttered to himself again, the words incomprehensible. Shepard turned the lever to stop the water and wiped her wet hands on her shorts, turning back towards the middle of the room, keeping Upholder on her right, but lining up her path to be close to him. She tilted her head down slightly and began to creep forward, hoping the angle of her head would keep any movement of her eyes from being seen.  
He didn't move out of her way as she got closer. If she didn't change her path, which she couldn't without giving herself away, she'd make it by but only by an inch. Perhaps he wanted her to bump into him again...

  
Two steps away, she spotted it: not a gun, but a knife in a sheath at his hip. She had seconds to make a choice. There probably wasn't time to pull her arm back to strike before his biotics would react...  
One step away. Would it slide out if she pulled or be more securely kept? Was she willing to risk it regardless?  
She was almost even with him and he started to pivot to face her. Shepard made her move.

  
In one swift movement, as gracefully and powerfully as she could manage, she reached out and grasped the hilt then swiped it straight up towards Upholder's face. Before she could bring it back down she was frozen in stasis, but her eyes were bright with satisfaction.  
She heard him yell, watched him recoil back. He was holding the side of his face and cursing. Shepard couldn't see the details, but his fancy clothes were torn all the way up his chest and she could see red beginning to appear on the edges. The most blood was seeping through the fingers of his hand on his face and neck. Shepard had been hoping she might hit his carotid artery, and it didn't look like enough blood to prove that, but it still made her proud.

  
The knife was ripped from her hands and Upholder picked it up. She could tell from his hunched shoulders he was seething with rage. In the distance she noticed the door to the room opened and a salarian rushed in. It looked like he was carrying medigel.  
Upholder didn't acknowledge him. Instead he leaned in, bringing his face close to Shepard's, staring into her eyes. She could see that her attack had gone straight up his neck, sliced through his beard, and all the way to his temple.  
She didn't try to hide her vision. She stared right back, scowling.

  
"It's only fair you get a scar out of this too," she muttered, her voice sounding low and rasping from her brutalized neck.  
Upholder didn't do it quickly like she did. Starting at her hip, he dragged the knife, still wet with his blood, up the same path she had marked on him on her right side. Shepard gritted her teeth and groaned but didn't avert her gaze. He didn't cut deep enough to need medigel, but there was plenty of pain and blood.  
After he was done he stared at her a moment longer, then barked something at the salarian and moved away. Shepard wasn't sure, but she bet it had something to do with getting her another dose of whatever was keeping her blind and deaf.

  
The salarian came to her and placed a small patch on her chest. Immediately Shepard felt dizzy and weak. Had they been administering this in her sleep, or was this only her second dose? About 30 seconds later he removed the patch and then promptly went to Upholder's side and began helping with the medigel.  
Shepard still wasn't released from stasis. Upholder wasn't done with her.  
Sufficient time to get him patched up passed and he returned to stand in front of her. He wasn't holding the knife anymore, and Shepard thought she saw it back in its sheath, but focusing was becoming increasingly difficult.

  
His hands were still bloody from his face, though it had started to dry. He gently touched the left side of her face with the back of his hand, and Shepard grimaced. She couldn't make out his expression.  
Then, his hand became a fist, and it cocked back then rocketed forward into her stomach. Shepard nearly threw up. Whatever drug was in her system wasn't effecting sight or hearing yet, but her entire body felt sedated and groggy. She could barely tense her abdomen before another punch came and it took more concentration than she could keep. Even as the third punch to her gut came, her eyes still fought to close and her awareness slipped in and out.  
She only stayed conscious through two more.


	7. Unrest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains scenes from my one-shot "The Night". (Yes, shameless scene recycling, but just a little bit.) If you've already read it, parts of this may be redundant filler. Sorry about that! :P If you HAVEN'T read it, perhaps this will entice you. ;)

Something was... different. Maybe? The main battery sounded strange. The hum he was used to was completely off pitch.  
Garrus chuckled as he woke up but he wasn't sure why. He lifted his head and looked around.  
He wasn't in the main battery. He was in Shepard's cabin, reclined on the couch. Without thinking, he turned his head to look towards her bed as if he expected to find her there. Of course, he didn't.  
He groaned, not only due to the ringing in his ears accompanying the hum of the aquarium and its VI, but because he didn't feel prepared to think about Shepard yet. He couldn't even remember how he got to her cabin...

  
He looked around, but didn't see Sidonis. He must have left him in the battery. He stretched and closed his eyes again, trying to think of the last thing he did remember.  
He chuckled again and almost burst into a fit of laughter recollecting the stories he and Sidonis told. Sancso had a hangover just like most turian booze, but at least it helped you laugh at it.  
He focused again on the room, empty and pristine. He'd been there without Shepard only a couple times before, usually when he knew she was coming soon after. This time she likely wouldn't be coming back until he brought her back himself. There was some strategizing to go over... but he wasn't ready for that yet, either.  
Steadying himself a bit, Garrus stood up and stretched some more, moving to the middle of the room. He remembered the first time he had sancso, Sidonis had recommended light physical activity during the hangover. It kept you from being too loopy and helped burn it off faster.  
He swiftly dropped into a push up position and gave himself permission to think about something light. Glancing at the stairs that separated Shepard's office from the rest of the room, he wasn't surprised to have thoughts of his first night in her cabin come to mind. Though it hadn't been that long ago, it seemed like so much was different then.  
  
*****  
  
"I want something to go right. Just once. Just..."  
He trailed off as Shepard slowly stepped closer. She raised one hand and placed it over the scars "Archangel" cost him. Garrus visibly relaxed, his shoulders dropping as he exhaled. They both leaned forward until their foreheads rested upon each other.  
"I know what you mean, Garrus. I understand that..." Shepard spoke softly, watching him as he trailed his fingers along her arm, as if exploring the landscape. Her hand dropped to his upper arm.  
"...but seeing as we're both new at this, I don't want to set the bar too high." His eyes met hers as she continued, "I mean, even same-species intercourse can be awkward sometimes, right?"  
Garrus raised his head and chuckled. "That's a fair point."

  
"Even if this is confusing, or even uncomfortable at first... I still want to see it through." Shepard smiled and Garrus was amazed at the amount of confidence and calm he saw there. "Are you with me?" she asked, but they both knew the answer.  
"Shepard, in less than 48 hours we're going on a suicide mission to assault the Collector base. You should know by now that I will see anything through... with you."  
Suddenly Shepard smirked, and Garrus wondered if he'd said the wrong thing.  
"Out of curiosity, which is more intimidating between this or that?" she asked, narrowing her eyes and grinning wide.  
"I'll tell you after we survive both," Garrus replied with just the right amount of optimism. Shepard laughed.  
"Come on. Let's pop open this bottle of 'vigilante salary'."

  
Garrus watched her saunter to the sofa in the corner of the room and begin preparing the drinks. Once again he was struck by how easy she made, well, just about everything look. He knew she had flaws and made mistakes, but it was still as if she owned the night, the moment, every moment she was in.  
But he was also in this moment with her, and many others prior. And so many of those had felt... instinctive. Easy. Natural.  
He suddenly realized she was watching him watching her. After a brief pause he dismissed his nerves with a chuckle, relaxed his shoulders, and moved forward to take a seat next to her on the sofa.

  
"Did I ever tell you what happened when my squad on Omega found out that I was with you when you stopped Saren?" he asked, flashing an easy grin. His casual charm finally replaced his forced efforts.  
"No, I don't think you have," Shepard replied, unabashedly shortening the gap between them. They were about as close as they could be while still allowing room for them to sit facing each other. "But I think I'd very much like to." She took a drink and Garrus might have imagined it, but he thought he noticed her also visibly relax as they settled into comfortable conversation.  
He picked up his drink, draped his arm across the back of the sofa, and dove into the story, letting himself be comfortable with the fact that they were sitting closer than they ever had before.  
Besides, the moment was just as much his as it was hers.  
  
*****  
  
Shepard's entire body hurt in so many different ways. She bit her lip and groaned, fighting back tears. She was tired of walking up feeling less rested and more broken each time; her morale was starting to suffer.  
She tried to roll from her back to her side and sucked in a sharp breath. She could hardly move. Her core muscles felt obliterated. She ran her hands gently over the skin there, vaguely remembering he had struck her more than once. Even her skin was sensitive to the touch. She couldn't see, but she was certain her stomach was all different shades of purple. Each breath pulled at the cut up her torso, neck, and face. Caked blood covered the right side of her face and neck, matting her hair.

  
Her vision was completely black again. She snapped her fingers by her ear and confirmed that all of her hearing was gone again too. She didn't want to move, but she knew that she'd get stiff if she avoided it for too long, and water was probably a good idea.  
Part of her wanted to forget the strategy and "smart" ideas. Her desire to stay on the alert and proactive was fading. She had enough awareness to realize this, and yet her determination was leaving her.  
It was still entirely plausible that she'd be found and released. But how long would it be? How long had she even been there? What else would happen before then? What if Upholder relocated her just before help arrived? Would she even know if she had already been relocated? How long could he keep evading?  
She scoffed at herself. Being the strategist felt safe, and that's the familiarity her mind was seeking. But that was definitely something she could give up thinking about. Unless she was giving up on life, she still needed water.

  
Mustering up all the motivation she had, she rolled onto her side, gritting her teeth. She tried to use mainly her arms to get herself into a seated position, but still couldn't help crying out as her muscles tried to convince her they couldn't hold her.  
She sat still and took a few heavy breaths, contemplating crawling to the shower. Determining it likely wouldn't hurt any less, she forced herself to her feet. Every pain and protest she ignored and dismissed was replaced by another.  
She walked slowly, willing her body to cooperate with each step. She made it to the wall, found the lever, and cupped her hands to drink. For some reason the idea of a shower seemed overwhelming right now, but she didn't want to be covered in blood, either. She did her best to spot clean with the water and her hands, focusing on her face and hair.  
Once she felt she'd done a good enough job, she made it about three steps away from the shower before hands suddenly clasped her upper arms, causing her to lose balance for a moment. She felt her heart jump into her throat; the hands were turian.

  
She tried to speak Garrus's name but only a a raspy breath escaped her. The hands began tugging at the restraints on her wrists, as if trying to undo them. Her heart was racing. Was this it? Was this a reunion or another threat?  
"Garrus?" she choked out, more forcefully now.  
One of the hands gently touched the side of her face and she felt herself go weak, wanting so badly to believe it was him... She raised her hands and slowly reached for this turian's face. There was only one way to know.  
She felt flat, unscarred skin and the two of them broke apart from each other like they'd been struck. Shepard felt the arms release her and she stumbled back, nearly falling over. Her heart was still racing, but now for a different reason. If this wasn't Garrus, who was it?

  
She didn't have time for further speculation before something made contact with her forearm and sent electrical shocks through her body. She yelped in surprise and pain, crumpling to the floor as it released her.  
So it was a threat.  
She waited, expecting more torment to follow, but long seconds passed with no other interference... then minutes. She wasn't sure what else to do. Thinking she was still close to the faucet, she gently scooted herself sideways a bit further before simply hugging her knees close to her and closing her eyes as she sat.  
She didn't want to sleep again. These moments of complete isolation drove her crazy, just as much as the abuse. She realized she hadn't spent any time meditating in a while and decided to try. She focused on her breathing and after several minutes, began to feel her muscles relax. Not very much, but a little made a big difference.  
She let her mind wander, attempting to lead it to more peaceful thoughts. Ideas of reuniting with Garrus reminded her of stumbling upon him in Omega. The first night the two of them had spent together in her cabin, he'd asked about what that was like for her. They'd talked for hours then, filling the night with intimacy of a not-solely physical nature.  
Shepard was overwhelmed with bitter sweetness as she thought of it. She leaned into it nonetheless.  
  
*****  
  
"Did you... ever think about seeing me again, when you got your life back?" he asked, finishing off the drink he'd been working through.  
Shepard's eyes got a far away look. "I thought about every one of you when I got spaced," she said somberly. "I dreamt of every one of you before I woke back up." Garrus shifted uncomfortably and looked about to apologize, so Shepard continued before he could. "I visited a recently invaded colony. That was the first place The Illusive Man sent me. After that he said I needed a team, and he'd put together a roster. He was helpful enough to answer questions about all of your whereabouts when I asked..."  
Shepard paused to finish her drink, then placed the empty glass on the table. Instead of turning back to face Garrus though, she turned away, then reclined back until her head was resting on his leg. Looking up at Garrus's face, she tried not to laugh as she watched him adjust to the new closeness. She continued on as if nothing were unusual.  
"I asked about you last."

  
"Erm, last?" Garrus repeated, noticing the way her hair spread out across his lap. He couldn't help touching it, brushing it to and fro. This was the first time he'd seen it out of her trademark tight bun, and he was mesmerized.  
"Yes, last. Liara had her studies. Tali had the flotilla. Wrex would always find something to do between mercenary work and Tuchanka. Kaidan, Chakwas, Joker and the rest of the crew would be taken care of by the Alliance. But you... I mean, you could go anywhere, but it was pretty clear you belonged here more than anywhere else."  
"I won't argue that," Garrus murmured, and they met each other's eyes. There was a moment where nothing was said, but nothing needed to be said. Shepard reached up and gently grasped his hand that had been resting on the back of the couch. Both of them were unused to the feel of each other's skin, but they were quickly getting more familiar.

  
"At first I was frustrated," she continued. "The Illusive Man simply said they didn't know where you ended up, a lot of help that was. But now it's actually rather funny. I was so disappointed that you were seemingly unreachable, wondering how hard it would be to find you again, and the next thing I did was open up the dossier for one Archangel, highly recommended and with a note of urgency since he was top of the hit list on Omega."  
Garrus laughed. "Did the dossier seem... familiar?" he asked.  
"It was detailed enough for some part of me to suspect, but also vague enough for me to brush it off," Shepard replied, smirking and rubbing her forehead. "It mentioned sniping skills, some tech expertise, a sense of justice in an unjust world..." They both chuckled. "...but it seemed so improbable. Still, the feeling wouldn't leave me alone. Ultimately I realized it didn't matter what I believed, because Archangel was first on the list and I'd find out soon enough. I brainstormed some back up plans, even considered asking Miranda to dig up some intel on you after we dealt with the urgent dossiers.  
"After meeting with Aria I nearly let myself get my hopes up. On the bridge, I caught a glimpse of your helmet as we made our way up and my gut was screaming that it was you. I told it to shut up with every shot. When I finally got up there and you sniped that last mech, I knew. I'd watched you take that same shot a million times before."

  
Turian expressions are subtle, but there was no mistaking Garrus's smugness. "That excited to see me, were you?" he asked slyly, practically purring.  
Shepard met his playfulness with utter seriousness. "Outside of Joker and the Normandy, you were the first piece of familiarity I got back. That's a big deal. I think some part of me thought I was still dreaming until you showed up. The Normandy is vital for anything I do, and Joker is vital for that... but you filled a big void I was definitely feeling."  
"And what void was that?" Garrus asked, undeterred and still grinning.  
"Well... a lot of things," Shepard began. "For one, a gun at my side that I knew was skilled and loyal for a reason other than 'Cerberus told me to'. Cerberus may have given me your dossier but you offered way more than a mercenary's contract. You know me better than any of the Cerberus crew, which makes a lot of things much easier. Little things, too, like helping me perfect my weapon mods. And talking with you off the battlefield, sharing moments like this, it's... easy, it's..."  
"Natural," Garrus finished for her. Shepard laughed, catching him off guard.  
"Biology might need some convincing later," she pointed out. Garrus started to laugh then cleared his throat.  
"We'll work on that," he assured her.  
"Promises, promises..." Shepard teased. Garrus shrugged and flared his mandibles in a grin.

  
"We are quite a force to be reckoned with, don't you think?" Shepard asked him.  
"You are, for sure," Garrus replied, nodding. "I mean, you're THE Commander Shepard. I'm just along for the ride and making sure you've got what you need to get the job done, and done stylishly."  
"Well..." Shepard began with a laugh. She let go of his hand long enough to sit up and nestle herself under his arm, taking his hand again to drape it around her shoulders. She leaned in close and smiled up at him.  
"THE Commander Shepard certainly needs Garrus Vakarian for that."  
Garrus brought his other hand up to her cheek, resting it there gently as he leaned forward and their foreheads came together again. His voice was low and soft when he next spoke.  
"Garrus Vakarian is delighted to serve."  
  
*****  
  
Shepard hugged her knees tighter, coming back to the present after a long time in memories that healed and hurt all at once.  
Where was he?  
  
*****  
  
Garrus had given himself a light workout and taken a shower (in Shepard's cabin) and felt the sancso nearly out of his system. He looked at the time. Still many hours before he could meet Aria's crew. But there were things on the Normandy to coordinate too. He needed to talk strategy with someone.  
With a heavy sigh he glanced around the room, as if acknowledging the emptiness it held and promising it would be gone soon. It was time to finally make some forward progress other than watching the minutes tick by.  
He rolled his shoulders and stood up straight then headed for the elevator.


	8. Primed

"Garrus. What can I do for you?" Mordin asked, stepping out from behind the table with his various experiments. The tech lab had been Garrus's first stop for Normandy preparations.  
"I've been strategizing the upcoming operation, as best I can with our limited intel," he replied. "I just need to get another set of eyes on it, make sure I'm not missing anything..."  
"Afraid you're too close?" Mordin asked.  
"I'm not afraid of that," Garrus insisted, then glanced away. "...but I know I am close."  
"Of course," Mordin nodded. "Happy to help. Show me what you've got."

  
Garrus nodded and brought up what little visual information he had on the facility on his omnitool. Liara had given him everything in her Shadow Broker files from the original mission there. He pulled up the picture of the outside of the facility, the only one he had.  
"I don't know if the ship from Aria will be small enough to land there, or have shuttles, but I think this is a hangar bay here," Garrus began, pointing to what looked like a large door on the side of the building. "I think between EDI and Kasumi, we can figure out a way to get the door open. Joker will help coordinate shuttling as necessary." He swiped over to a rough sketch of the indoor layout, drawn by one of the Shadow Broker team years ago.

  
"This is a very approximate representation," Mordin commented, squinting at the drawing.  
"Yes, I know. But it's all I've got," Garrus replied. A line tracing the path they had taken started at the largest room with a couple other large rooms behind it. There were written labels Garrus's omnitool had translated. "It looks like right up front are the hangar bay and a couple common areas, probably living quarters for staff and maybe a small cafeteria. This last large room here is called a lab, but we won't know if it's still a lab until we get there. It could be an armory now." The path continued down the hall to over a dozen smaller rooms. "These are all containment cells... until you get here, this last room. The speculation is that this is where Upholder may be, separate from the rest of the staff with his own accommodations. It's possible there's another entrance point on this side of the facility, but I don't have any knowledge of it." He referenced the last room labeled simply "HQ". Mordin scrutinized the image, as if trying to get information that wasn't there from it.

  
"Not much room to maneuver," he muttered finally.  
"Exactly," Garrus replied. "That was my thought as well. Once we're past these large rooms, it's just narrow hallways. There's probably no cover and we'll be struggling not to shoot each other in the back."  
"Who are your squad leaders?" Mordin asked, and Garrus closed his omnitool.  
"Sidonis and I will be near the front--"  
"Sidonis? You prefer him on point with you?" Mordin interjected, sounding curious.  
"He's got more intel on this guy than the Shadow Broker," Garrus explained. "This is his mission too. And I feel we'll be most productive together. He doesn't know anyone else here to take his cues off of, and he's not as battle trained as the rest of us."  
Mordin nodded. "Valid points. Go on."

  
"We'll need well armored people in front since we'll be bottle necked. I was thinking Grunt and Samara. They're both effective at crowd control. Whatever I can pick off from behind them, I will."  
"What about Aria's troops?" Mordin asked.  
"If she sends any--"  
"She will."  
"--they'll be on clean up duty. They'll go inside the rooms and secure the areas so that we can keep moving forward. I told her to also supply extra medics, so they'll be taking up the rear to assess and secure the hostages. I'd like you to lead that effort."  
"Certainly. What about Chakwas?" Mordin asked.  
"She'll help coordinate supplies from the Normandy," Garrus said. "I also want her reserved for Shepard. I don't know what state she'll be in, and I want her to feel as safe as possible... I think Chakwas will be her only visitor for a while," he finished quietly.  
"Indeed. Fragility in many ways likely," Mordin agreed. "What about hostiles? Shoot to kill? Prisoners?" he asked.  
"If they're shooting us, we'll have no hesitation taking them out," Garrus growled. "I don't think they're likely to surrender. If some do, I plan on simply letting Aria's people take custody of them. Maybe they'll be looking for a new boss." He shrugged. "If there's many to keep locked down, I may ask a few others from the Normandy to help. Zaeed, Thane, Jack... whoever is willing."

  
"What about Upholder?"  
Garrus's head lowered and his eyes narrowed, feeling his blood boil just thinking about getting his hands on him. Mordin noticed this reaction but didn't comment on it.  
"I'm hoping he shoots at us," he said simply. "I have no reason to keep him alive."  
"Do you know that he's the one in charge?" Mordin asked. Garrus blinked, his threatening posture fading.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Are you sure Upholder is the top of the chain of command? Is it possible he's doing the bidding of someone else? Could he be simply a delivery man?"  
Garrus was quiet for a moment as he thought. Truth be told, he had very little evidence either way.  
"...he seemed quite fixated on her at the restaurant," he finally muttered. "A personal interest. He didn't look like someone on a job. But..."  
"Not enough to profile properly," Mordin finished. Garrus exhaled heavily.  
"I guess not," he conceded.  
"Someone who will have this much power over Shepard should not be left out there."  
"You're right. Okay, we keep him alive, at least until we do what we can to find out if he has other connections that also need to be eliminated."  
"Very smart," Mordin said with a nod. Garrus was glad he didn't make a comment about him not having thought of that already.

  
"Lastly, hostages," Mordin continued on, bringing a hand up to his chin. "You said they are bound, also deaf, blind? They won't know you are rescuing them. Do you have a plan for keeping them calm in such a panicked state?"  
"The drug wears off if not continually administered," Garrus began.  
"Yes, but, familiar with blackout. It can last a couple days, depending on how it is dosed," Mordin explained.  
"Hmm... sedation?" Garrus asked, his brow plates twitching.  
"Could be good, for some. But, likely won't have sufficient sedatives for many individuals to last for days. Recommend reserving that for any hostages likely to take drastic measures. Biotics useful for stabilizing as well," Mordin explained.  
"So, Miranda and Jacob. They've got enough biotics to help with frantic victims," Garrus decided.  
"Sounds efficient," Mordin approved. "Aria's team may have biotics as well."  
"True. For the hostages who are non-violent, to themselves or others, they may just have to wait it out. Once the drug wears off, someone will talk to them and release them. Urgent injuries can use sedation or biotics briefly to apply medigel."

  
"What about Shepard?" Mordin asked. They both knew Garrus was going to get her out as soon as he could.  
"I'll find a way to get through to her," he said firmly.  
"Be careful. Will be desperate, unaware, could attack," Mordin cautioned.  
"I know, I'll be careful... and I will get through to her. I'll know what to do when I see her."  
"For that scenario, instincts in the moment may be best after all," Mordin conceded with a shrug. "What about getting the other victims home?"  
"Once everyone is stable enough, we'll coordinate that. Some may end up going to Omega, and perhaps we'll take the rest to Illium... somewhere they can access their bank accounts and secure transport home. If there are other special circumstances, we'll have to work that out once we know them."

  
Mordin nodded once more, rubbing his hands together with anticipation.  
"Plan seems secure. I like it. When do we leave?" he asked.  
"I'm going to get the crew together for a briefing, tell them everything I told you. After that I'll take Sidonis and you with me to the dock where I'm meeting Aria's crew. Once they show up we'll set up a connection with EDI, get acquainted with them, get them acquainted with the procedure, and be on our way."  
Mordin patted him on the shoulder.  
"Excellent. You've done well. I'm sure we'll find Shepard has as well. Let's get to the comm room then, shall we?"  
Without waiting for a reply, the salarian headed for the hallway. Garrus took in a deep breath and let it out in a rush. He was surprised how much better he felt just being able to say it was almost time to move. And even though she didn't know it, he knew Shepard would be feeling better soon, too.  
He turned to follow, speaking to EDI.  
"EDI, get the squad in the comm room, as well as Chakwas and Sidonis. Give Joker a line in too."  
  
*****  
  
Turian hands shook Shepard awake and she struck out with one arm, shoving them away, seething with frustration.  
"Stop!" she growled, but she could tell it came out broken. She wiped at her eyes, knowing how meaningless such a protest was. She hated herself for being so close to begging.  
She'd been interrupted by seemingly friendly turian hands over ten times already. There were long breaks in between, long enough for Shepard to feel hope the first few times. But following each interaction, when she'd find an unscarred face, another zap from some kind of taser would strike. Soon she stopped checking, stopped interacting, just sat still or pulled away. It didn't matter; the pain still came.  
The hands returned, one sliding under her neck and lifting her up, as if to cradle her. Shepard gritted her teeth and shoved against the turian's chest. It fought to keep her close and after a few more seconds of struggling, Shepard brought her fist up forcefully under the turian's chin.  
Immediately she was released and she pushed herself backwards. She braced herself, glaring at nothing, her body aching with each heavy breath.

  
...but no shock came.  
She waited longer, skeptical but also curious. Then she realized what this was about. This was the first time she had actually fought back. That's what she was being conditioned to do: fight any turian interaction. Of course, with the idea that when rescue did come, she would never trust it.  
She groaned in disgust. The tactic made complete sense... and she had started to fall for it. But ultimately it didn't matter. Even if she fought off the real Garrus, as long as she didn't kill him, which would be difficult to do in her current state, it would still mean Upholder was gone and she was safe.

  
Perhaps the understanding was too evident on her face, and Upholder saw it, because a human hand suddenly shoved the side of her head over and down. She got her arms under her but let herself fall on them, resting her forehead on the back of her hand as she laid there, face down.  
Something dripped onto the back of her shoulder, one drop quickly followed by much more, splattering across her upper back. Shepard shouted in alarm as the liquid began burning and bubbling. She turned onto her left side and reached up, instinctively wanting to brush it off, but caught herself just in time. If this were anything but hot water, it could damage her hands just as badly, and her hands were too important to compromise. She felt it slowly begin to seep towards the floor now, causing her to groan as it disintegrated multiple layers of skin.  
It was definitely not just hot water.

  
Two more splatters fell onto her, one that spread across her right torso and another up and down the right side of her leg. She almost shouted for it to stop again but bit her lip to catch herself. She would not allow herself to utter meaningless pleas.  
She pushed herself onto her hands and knees, wondering if water from the shower would help or make it worse... She decided to wait and see what it did when left alone, remaining still and doing all she could to focus on her breathing.  
Her back was no longer bubbling. It still burned and felt like a hundred needles, but it didn't seem to be progressing. Taking two more long breaths, the rest on the side of her body began to stop fizzling as well. The spots where it had been were raw. It was going to hurt whenever she put water on it next, but perhaps less if she let it start to seal itself.  
Even though nothing was currently interacting with her, she knew Upholder and whatever turian he was using had to still be close. If she thought about it too much, their imagined gazes would sting just as badly as the burning liquid.  
Shepard laid down on the floor, curling up and ducking her head in to try and keep her face or hands out of range of more drops, should they come. Tears seeped from her eyes completely involuntarily, but unless they were seen, no one would know.  
  
*****  
  
Dock C5 on Omega was currently empty. Many of the surrounding docks were occupied by cargo transport vessels. Garrus, Sidonis, and Mordin were waiting inside the docking facility in full gear. Sidonis, who had borrowed some of Garrus's spare equipment, was sitting down, thoughtfully staring at his hands. Mordin seemed to be observing the people in the building. Garrus was standing completely still, staring at dock C5, waiting for Aria to make good on her word.  
They were early, mostly due to restlessness. There was no reason to suspect the ship wouldn't show. But sitting and waiting was the hardest part of this entire experience.  
Finally, a vessel hovered towards their area and settled itself in dock C5.  
"There it is," Garrus announced and headed out towards it without looking back. His eyes were glued to it as if it may disappear if he didn't watch it close enough.  
It was boxy, and not pretty, most likely batarian design. Garrus didn't care. It's metal had a slight ruddy hue, similar to how Omega looked from space. It had no special paint job other than blocky yellow letters down the side, displaying its name: Egacress.

  
Garrus heard the footsteps of Mordin and Sidonis behind him and didn't stop until he was approaching the main doors. They whisked open when he got close and he abruptly halted, finding an imposing figure on the other side.  
It was a female batarian. Her face showed some signs of aging, but her stature and the way she carried herself spoke to her capability. She was in full armor as well, a dark purple color, and just as large as equipped male batarians, perhaps even bigger than some. Her skin was a soft chartreuse shade with black facial markings on her chin and forehead. She looked over the three of them, eyes narrowing slightly, but more out of curiosity than annoyance.  
"Aria said you'd be... eager," she grunted, then nodded her head in Garrus's direction. "I take it you're Archangel?"  
"Ah, yes, but my squad knows me as Garrus Vakarian," he replied, nodding respectfully. He guessed she was in charge and he knew making a good impression would be important. "This is Mordin Solus and Lantar Sidonis," he added, gesturing to each of them.

  
"Dhovile Cranradah," the batarian introduced herself. "And I know, you haven't been around many female batarians and you're concerned about cultural norms and it's like first contact all over again," she said, gesturing nonchalantly. "But I've been around plenty of turians and salarians. You can treat me like a male if you want and it'll be fine. Most of my crew find me pretty reasonable." She grinned.  
"Er, thanks," Garrus replied, unsure exactly how to respond to that. "But, yes, you're right, the sooner we set off, the better. Is your vessel fully supplied?" he asked.  
"Supplied, stocked, and staffed. Everyone that's pertinent is already aboard. Come on, I'll get you acquainted with the Egacress and the crew you'll be working with." Dhovile gestured for them to follow and turned, leading the way back into the Egacress, Garrus, Sidonis, and Mordin following.

  
The cockpit was very large compared to the Normandy, and held all of the captain's resources. It made sense for a non-military vessel, where the pilot and crew were not likely to be closely interacting with passengers.  
"Lasarnn, come on! Briefing time," Dhovile called towards the pilot seat as they passed. She also pressed a button on one of the consoles that would send a ping to summon the rest.  
"That was fast," a young, male salarian commented as he joined the group.  
Dhovile brought them into a large common room, already occupied by much of the crew who were made up of various different species. They noticed the others enter, but resumed quiet conversations while waiting for the rest of the crew to show up.  
"I don't know what you were expecting, but other than me we've got eight of us battle ready and four medics," Dhovile began. "Lasarnn is our pilot. You've got another vessel accompanying us, right?"  
"Yes," Garrus replied. "Once we're done here, Mordin will work with Lasarnn to get the comm link established with our AI and the Normandy, as well as the full team on the same frequency. After that he'll be working with the medics."

  
"The Normandy? I've heard that before," Dhovile commented, looking at the three of them closely again. "Is Commander Shepard with you?"  
"No... but she will be," Garrus said simply, not wanting to get into it any further than that for now. He was saved from having to when the last of the crew arrived and they all circled up for the briefing. All combat personnel were already geared up and on the left, consisting of one male turian, two female turians, one asari, one male batarian, another female batarian, one male krogan, and one male salarian. Dhovile gestured to them first, going down the line.  
"This is Voso, Milolea, Calivia, Kinifelea (or Kin for short), Dhern, Ikhatia, Sayrloc, and Zipal," she introduced them. Each of them acknowledged with a nod and Garrus stepped forward to acknowledge them.

  
"Any specialties you want me to know about?" he asked, glancing back at Dhovile, who smiled with pride at her team.  
"Kin is a biotic powerhouse," she began. "Sayrloc and Calivia have some biotics too, but are more effective with defense. Ikhatia, Zipal, and Dhern have tech skills. Voso and Milo are solid shots, and also very perceptive to changes on the battlefield and strategizing accordingly. We've all been working together for several years, so we're a well oiled machine by now."  
"Excellent," Garrus said. "When I go over the mission I'm sure you'll each find a place for you to do what you do best."

  
Dhovile then turned him to the medical staff lined up on the right, two asari, a male human, and a male salarian.  
"Here we have Helfinne, Jenil, Tommy, and Sokon." Again, they all acknowledged each other. Garrus then stepped back to address the entire group.  
"I'm grateful for all of you being here and ready," he began. "I know Aria told you to, but I'm certain your performance will speak of personal commitment. It's true that I am Archangel, but for today's purposes you can call me Garrus." He paused, noting that several of the squad had reactions to the name Archangel, ranging from excitement to further scrutiny. He continued, referencing Sidonis and Mordin.  
"This is Sidonis. Most of my intel about what we will encounter comes from him. He'll be working with me. Mordin is former STG with many exceptional skills, but he'll be working closest with the medical personnel. After he gets the comm links set up, I'd appreciate if one of you got him familiar with the medical facility." Sokon volunteered and Garrus thanked him.  
"Now... here's what we're up to..."

  
He went over everything, from the small hallways, to the anticipated condition of victims, the picture of Upholder (Sidonis's updated version, not Liara's), and informed them of the other Normandy crew members and what their roles would be. Everyone was attentive and seemed to be also brimming with anticipation. Garrus noticed, however, that Helfinne seemed to be rather uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure why. After he finished, he turned to Dhovile.  
"Dhovile, does the Egacress have a shuttle?" he asked.  
"It does. A few of us know how to fly it," she answered.   
"Good. Unless there's a landing space for the Egacress, I'll have the combat team over first, and once the first few rooms are secured, someone will make another trip for the medical team."  
"I'll be designated driver," Zipal volunteered.  
"As always, Zip's letting us have the fun," Sayrloc joked and a couple others chuckled. Garrus felt himself relax; their camaraderie was contagious and calming to him. He noticed Sidonis smiling as well.

  
Feeling complete with his briefing and checking for any last minute questions, he looked over everyone again.  
"Okay. Once we're connected to the Normandy and our people, we're good to go," he said. Dhovile took her cue to take command.  
"Lasarnn and Sokon, go facilitate getting us plugged in and prepped with Mordin. Zipal, prep the shuttle. Ikhatia, give him a hand. Med team, get to the clinic and start preparing go bags. The rest of you, get in the hangar on standby." Dhovile watched with satisfaction as they hurried off.  
"I'll head down to the hangar," Sidonis told Garrus. Garrus nodded and watched him fall into step with Voso and Dhern, then approached Dhovile.  
"I know we won't be here long, but is there a room I could utilize, somewhere private?" he asked. Dhovile looked at him with more understanding than he anticipated.  
"We're going to find Shepard there, aren't we?" she asked quietly. "Aria also mentioned a white knight." Garrus's mandibles twitched, but he matched her powerful gaze.  
"Yes," he said simply but firmly.  
"I get it," she said with a light sigh. "A Commander should be a Commander when on her ship. She'll need some space to just be for a while."  
"Thank you," he said. "I'd also like to see the med bay and holding cells, just so that I can know my way around."

  
"I'll escort him," came a soft voice from behind him. Garrus turned to see Helfinne; he hadn't noticed she'd stayed behind.  
"Go ahead, I'll be down in the hangar once we're rollin'," Dhovile said, dismissing herself.  
"I'll show you to your room first, then the med bay and holding cells. Getting to the hangar from there is simple," Helfinne said, turning and leading the way past an elevator and down a hallway.  
"Thank you," Garrus said. He studied her as they walked. She seemed calmer now, but he was certain she'd been ready to jump out of her skin during the briefing.  
She was fair skinned, a beautiful, lighter shade of blue than was most common. She also seemed older, and Garrus guessed she was in the Matron stage. Her hands wringing together were the only thing left that gave away her nerves, the rest of her moving gracefully and with poise.  
"This room should fit your needs most effectively," she announced, stopping at a door labeled B4. She opened the door then stepped aside to let Garrus take a look.  
It was like a small dorm room, with two beds, a counter with a sink, and some shelving. The beds were made neatly with plenty of blankets and pillows and Garrus noticed some cups near the sink.  
"That looks perfect," he said approvingly, stepping back out.  
"The rest of our stops are down two floors," Helfinne said, closing the door to B4 and leading the way back to the elevator. Garrus wondered if he should ask her what was wrong... but by the time they were in the elevator, Helfinne opened up on her own.

  
"Aria specifically requested I come on this mission. I'm not a regular here," she said quietly. Garrus looked at her but she remained facing forward at the elevator doors. "I didn't know why until you filled us in." There was a slight tremor in her voice that grew as she continued, and some part of Garrus knew before she said it.  
"My bondmate, Tullvius, also works for Aria. He's been missing for 43 days... She's been promising me he's alive but never told me anything else."  
"If he's there, he's alive. Upholder doesn't execute--"  
"I know how he works," Helfinne interrupted, but kept her tone soft. She wiped a tear from her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Aria had me process Jogern, who returned from Upholder. I've known since then that he had Tullvius, too, but... I didn't know that's what this mission was about until you said it."  
Garrus's heart went out to the asari (he pushed away thoughts of Sidonis's comment on his chivalry), but he was unsure what comfort to offer. In the end he simply said, "It will be over soon."

  
Helfinne nodded and composed herself as the elevator doors opened. To the right was a set of stairs that led upward, and to the left had stairs that went down. She turned to the right first and they soon entered the med bay. Tommy and Jenil were organizing supplies, trying to determine what would be most appropriate to have with them. Eight hospital beds lined the walls and a small sitting area was in the back. Behind that was what appeared to be an office, closed off from the rest of the room.  
"Will you be needing medical supplies brought to your room?" Helfinne asked knowingly.  
"Actually, I'm planning on bringing our medic on board with her supplies when everything is secured. Her name is Dr. Chakwas, she's human. I may ask one of you to escort her when the time is right," Garrus explained. Helfinne nodded.  
"...no, no, humans will metabolize it slowest due to-- ah, here we are." Helfinne and Garrus turned just in time to see Mordin and Sokon return, apparently in the middle of a scientific discussion. "Garrus, Egacress and Normandy synced, should be receiving comm frequency for squad shortly--"  
Just as he spoke it, each omnitool in the room pinged. Dhovile spoke first.

  
"Dhovile on the line. Sound off?" Lasarnn and each of her squad quickly reported in. Garrus almost missed his cue once the line was silent, part of him waiting for Shepard to be in command...  
"This is Garrus. Normandy team, everyone prepped?"  
"We're a go," Joker replied.  
"The Normandy is ready for take off," EDI informed him. The rest of the squad coming along also reported in efficiently.  
"Is Chakwas on standby?" Garrus asked, having not heard her speak.  
"She will be patched in when you are ready for her," EDI informed him.  
"Good. All set here."  
"Let's get this show on the road," Dhovile said enthusiastically.  
"Aye ma'am," Lasarnn replied.  
"Right behind you," came the comment from Joker. With that, the Egacress rumbled louder to signal leaving the docks.  
"Let's see what you've got packed," Mordin said, approaching the other two medics.

  
Helfinne gestured for Garrus to follow her and they went back down the stairs, past the elevator.  
"They're not much, but effective enough," she commented regarding the holding cells. "We sometimes transport prisoners, so we need them to be reliable. We have biotic suppressors available when needed. We have extra staff whose only job is to keep this place secure."  
There were three larger containment centers, metal structures, simple in design, made for holding groups of people. Five smaller cells were for individuals or groups who needed to be separated. Four krogan were playing a game with runes and dice on the far side of the room, too busy to notice Garrus or Helfinne.  
"They're a good bunch. Aria takes good care of them," Helfinne commented with a small smile. Garrus nodded and they headed back up the stairs just as the krogan burst out in exclamations over their game. Once at the elevator, Helfinne stopped.  
"The last floor is the hangar. I imagine everyone else is already there. I'd better join the medical crew and assist with preparations," she said.  
"Of course, thank you for your help," Garrus replied, signaling the elevator to open.  
"No, thank you. I'm not sure how much longer I'd be waiting to see Tullvius if not for you. You really are Archangel," Helfinne said emphatically. The doors opened and Garrus stepped in.  
"I'd be just as lost without Sidonis's intel," he admitted. "I'll pass on your thanks to him."

  
The two nodded at each other as the doors closed and Garrus took in a long, slow breath, closing his eyes. It was finally time. The doors opened and he carefully exhaled as he exited the elevator, taking in the readied group before him. His step was sure and determined. Sidonis gave him a nod as he took up position nearby. The Egacress was likely well clear of the docks by now and they'd be jumping to asteroid RGN-008/657, and The Cruciate, within minutes. Garrus took his sniper off his back and fiddled with the mods anxiously, desperate for something to focus on.  
 _I'll be there soon, Shepard._


	9. Siege

Shepard turned off the water then stood there, still, hand on the lever. She closed her eyes, took one step sideways, then leaned into the wall, using her left forearm to cushion her forehead. She wanted to lay down, but feared she may fall asleep, and then suffer another rude awakening.  
She wanted rest. Real rest. She kept telling herself it would come, she'd get it, and it would be amazing... But the reason she knew the importance of meditation and keeping her mental state strong is because she also knew the effect circumstances such as these have.  
Everyone has their limit. She didn't know how long it had been, but she could feel the effect of what she guessed was days without sight, hearing, food, rejuvenating sleep, or friendly interaction, not to mention the assault she'd been under. She needed to keep her limit ahead of her. It still was, but it was a lot closer than it had ever been before.

  
She focused on the water dripping off of her clothes, her skin, her ravaged hair... Quite some time had passed since the acid on her back, but it still protested the water. Shepard tried to nonchalantly add it to the mental list of aches and pains, doing her best to compartmentalize. She grunted as her mind fought back with a vengeance, as if she'd tried to close a box that was too full. Bracing herself with a breath, she scooted away from the shower area and allowed herself to slide down the wall, leaning her left side against it as she sat.  
Not much time passed before a biotic field put her in stasis and drew her away from the wall. Her stomach tied in a knot as she felt a human hand gently touch the left side of her face and trail down her neck to her collarbone. She drew a measured breath and began to pull her mind back to the Normandy, the quiet night with shortbread cookies...

  
...the biotics left her. Shepard had been so deep in her visualization, she didn't notice when his hands left her, but the stasis field dissipating was unmistakable. She tried to judge how much time had passed; it hadn't gone on near as long as last time... was there something else coming instead?  
Shepard sat and waited long enough for her to feel her muscles relax as the adrenaline left her system. The fatigue returned and she slowly laid down, not wanting to sleep but lacking many other options.  
  
*****  
  
Asteroid RGN-008/657 definitely didn't get many visitors. The closest habitable planet was Wrill, and only krogan and vorcha with gang affiliations ever spent time there. No one was likely to go poking around the asteroids and notice such a small facility, or deem it worth investigating if it were found.  
The rigid, brown-gray terrain was smoothed and flattened on one small portion fully surrounding the building. In the back was a large water silo with purification system and a generator, which seemed like a lot of effort to make such a small facility sustainable. Whoever established it was definitely motivated and well funded.  
There were no docks but plenty of approach distance for shuttles. They'd seen the Pursuance, Upholder's ship, hovering above, but like the Egacress it was not equipped with weapons so could do little more than simply send a message ahead to the Cruciate facility.

  
The Egacress was equipped with a larger shuttle than the Normandy and could fit Dhovile's whole team as well as Garrus and Sidonis on the first trip. There wasn't much room to maneuver, but they at least weren't on top of each other. Garrus and Dhovile were closest to the door, overseeing the approach, as they all felt adrenaline begin in anticipation of combat.  
EDI and Kasumi had made short work of the hangar door as the shuttles left their respective ships. A containment barrier kept the inside environment oxygenated and Garrus was certain there'd be a team waiting for them.

  
"Grunt and Samara, come to me when we land," he said over comms, watching the shuttle keeping pace with them. The two of them acknowledged the command and Garrus tried to peer into the hangar, the barrier distorting his vision somewhat, but not so much that he didn't recognize the movement inside.  
"They're readying," he said, and heard those with him begin preparing their weapons, then his eyes widened. A projectile had been fired and was through the barrier, coming for them.  
"Heavies!" he shouted.  
"Evasive maneuvers!" Dhovile demanded.

  
The shuttle lurched and everyone fought to stay upright, some colliding with each other. Zipal thrusted up and out of the line of sight from the hangar. Once stable again, Garrus watched as the Normandy shuttle dodged two projectiles. He pulled his Mantis off of his back and readied it.  
"Normandy team hold. Snipers forward," he said simply, bristling with anticipation. "Zipal, on my signal bring us level with the hangar again."  
Ikhatia positioned herself at Garrus's side, and Voso just behind, both readying their own snipers.  
"Ikhatia, left. Voso, center. I'll take right. We'll only have a small window before they send another round, so find your man as quick as possible. If you don't, take a shot or two anyway." They nodded and Garrus balanced his stance. "Let's go Zipal, give us a drive by. Evade if you need to and don't get too close."

  
The shuttle swung back around and leveled out to make a low, flat swing past the hangar. Just before they got into range, Garrus hit the door release and it swung open. The wind added difficulty to their task but each sniper gazed down their sight, seeking a target.  
There: a human raising a heavy weapon. Garrus fired and the weapon and the man fell back down. He looked for another and heard Voso take a shot, then Ikhatia take two. He found a krogan and had just lined up his shot when Dhovile shouted again.  
"Incoming!"

  
The shuttle jerked out from under him and Garrus fell about fifteen feet onto the dust, landing in a crouched position with his sniper still in hand. The armor absorbed the shock so he wasn't hurt, but he was definitely out in the open, quite a ways from the barrier with no cover. He glanced back and watched the shuttle dodge a projectile and noticed Ikhatia also on the ground behind him.  
"Get them some cover fire, people!" Dhovile demanded, and shots rang out above as the shuttle came back.  
"Hey, that's a good idea," Grunt said over comms. "Jacob, bring the shuttle back around. Time for a krogan air drop!"  
Garrus got to his feet and rushed to Ikhatia, who was cringing as she tested her leg.  
"We need to get to cover, are you alright?" he asked urgently.  
"Just a sprain," she grunted. "I can get there." Ikhatia grasped her sniper and Garrus helped hoist her to her feet. He turned just in time to see Grunt land in front of the barrier and charge through, hearing his battle roar even from their distance. He let Ikhatia take the lead, limping slightly, as they rushed forward.  
"Let's not leave Grunt unsupported," he said over comms.  
"Krogan air drop it is," Dhovile said, and he watched the Egacress shuttle come in close and Sayrloc drop out before the shuttle retreated again.  
"Focus on the heavies," Garrus instructed as he ran. Not long after, Sayrloc reported, "They're down."

  
With that, the Normandy and Egacress shuttle moved in close and the rest of the troops hit the ground. They rushed in and Garrus and Ikhatia made it in shortly after, taking cover behind the first thing they saw, which was a large crate of some kind.  
The hangar didn't have much cover, but with the numbers more even now, Dhovile's team was doing a good job keeping the security busy and rotating cover. Grunt made it to Garrus's side, giving his shields a chance to recover.

  
"I think we took down the Collector base with less people than this," he grumbled. "This is going to be boring."  
"It's not about their firepower, though they're happy to offer it," Garrus began, trading his sniper for his Carnifex as shots rang out around them. "Aria's invested in this mission, and letting her people be involved is good business." He poked his head up to get a view of the ongoing battle and took a couple shots. "Honestly, rehabilitating the hostages is going to be a lot more complicated than clearing it out, and they're here to help with that too."

  
Grunt shrugged, still looking bored but willing to go along with it. The gunfire slowed and then stopped and Garrus looked out from his cover again as he watched Samara approach.  
"Those that are left retreated further into the facility," she reported. "We should not give them a chance to regroup."  
"Agreed."  
Garrus, Grunt, and Samara moved forward and Sidonis joined them with a nod as Ikhatia fell in near Calivia. A quick scan showed that everybody was still in good shape.  
"We're going to start pushing through," Garrus said. "There's a couple rooms that will likely have the rest of the hostiles in them. We'll open the door and let you guys file in to sweep the place. If we find a room with no hostiles and only hostages, we will keep the door _closed_ until the med team is here. Got that?" He was met with all affirmative signals and so followed Grunt and Samara towards the hall.  
  
*****  
  
Shepard thought she must have been wrong, and more was coming, when turian hands pulled her up into a seated position after not laying down for very long. They weren't being overly aggressive or overly gentle, and she felt confused as they pulled her to her feet. One hand took her hand and held it open, then placed something in it and Shepard felt like she was remembering a part of herself.  
For a moment she was dumbfounded as her brain tried to process what she was holding. She put both hands over it, and in a way it felt like home. She exhaled, feeling some degree of relief as well as strength as she easily solidified her stance and held her head up higher.  
It was a pistol. Predator model, no mods, and... she checked the magazine. Full ammo.

  
What was she supposed to shoot? She had spent so much time in amazement, the turian who handed it to her could be anywhere and there was no way for her to tell. Would Garrus have handed her a gun like this? She didn't think so...  
Shepard frowned, confused. She didn't know what she could possibly do with the gun unless someone grabbed her, but that wasn't likely to happen while she was holding it, right?  
Regardless, she felt more like herself. Armed was a way she knew how to be. She remained standing, pistol resting but ready near her hip, hoping she could pull the trigger, effectively, soon.  
  
*****  
  
The front team stopped just past the first two doors, completely opposite from each other. Garrus looked back as Dhovile's team took formation. Sayrloc, Milolea, and Ikhatia ready to storm one side, and Dhern, Calivia, and Voso on the other. With a biotic blast, Samara swung both the doors open and the teams flooded in.  
Gunfire rang out as the front team, as well as the rest of Dhovile's team, continued down the hall. By the time they reached the next set of doors, it was already quiet.

  
"We've got a couple of people who don't want to die today," Dhern said over comms.  
"Keep Ikhatia and Calivia on them," Dhovile instructed.  
"Jacob, pick up Thane, Zaeed, and Miranda for crowd control and med team support," Garrus said, wanting to make sure that any surrendering hostiles were well watched. "Zipal, get the med team loaded up but don't land just yet."  
"We'll be ready," came the reply.  
"Sidonis and Samara, keep an eye on the hall. You're with me, Grunt," Garrus said, approaching one of the two doors.  
"Good," Grunt replied as Dhovile and Kin lined up at the opposite door. Samara checked that they were all ready then burst the doors open.

  
The room was like a barracks, with simply beds and lockers. Four hostiles were on the far side, weapons ready. Garrus fired two shots into a batarian and Grunt made quick work of the closest, a salarian. A krogan charged, taking advantage of the small space, and crashed into Garrus who had no cover to work with.  
He groaned as he slammed into the wall behind him, doing his best to wrestle the superior strength. Grunt fired a shotgun blast into the krogan's side. The krogan gripped Garrus's helmet in his hand and just in time, Garrus got his Carnifex under the krogan's chin and fired. He stumbled back and Grunt added one more shot for good measure.  
Garrus caught his breath, still leaning against the wall, as Grunt turned back to the last guy, a human, who had dropped his weapon and had his hands up.

  
"I told you this would be boring," Grunt grumbled, looking disappointed he didn't get to shoot again. He gestured with his head for the human to head out into the hall.  
"Speak for yourself," Garrus panted as he got himself back to his feet. "My sparring sessions with you apparently aren't teaching me very much."  
"Guess I should stop taking it easy on you," Grunt replied with a smirk, following the human out.  
"Let's talk about that later," Garrus said with a groan and a chuckle. Back in the hall, many of Dhovile's team had returned. "We've got another merc who surrendered here. How many are there?" Garrus asked.  
"Four here already, but your reinforcements just arrived," Calivia replied.  
"Good. Sayrloc, can you take this one back to the front? Keep them gathered but quiet," he said, gesturing to the human. Sayrloc nodded and shoved the human down the hall, keeping his own gun ready. The Egacress crew had several pairs of shackles stored in the shuttle, but they were crude and more of a symbol than functional restraints. The captured hostiles would need close watch until they were in the actual cells on the ship.

  
"One more room before the containment cells," Garrus told those gathered, then continued forward, Samara and Dhovile in the lead.  
"I'm guessing that was you that got pinned by the krogan?" Sidonis asked casually, observing the orange blood spatter on Garrus's helmet. "You alright?"  
"I'm good," Garrus replied, nodding.  
They made it to the last large room which was labeled "lab" on Garrus's outdated, rudimentary schematic. He quickly reminded the team he didn't know what this room would hold, then Grunt, Dhern, and Voso took point and Samara once again broke through the door.

  
The three of them rushed in, but there were no shots fired. All that was heard was Grunt growling and Voso cursing. Garrus frowned, certain that wasn't a good sign, and followed them in.  
There were no hostiles present and no lights on, but there were dozens of screens lined up on one wall. Each one showed a different individual bound and anchored to the middle of an empty room, most of them unmoving, curled in a ball.  
Garrus immediately turned and walked back out, fury rising inside of him.

  
"What? What is it?" Sidonis asked. Garrus passed him without speaking so he went to see for himself.  
"Zipal, land the med team, but keep them in the hangar for now," Garrus instructed, keeping himself productive while he allowed his emotions to calm. He suddenly thought of Helfinne and switched his comms to Mordin only. "Mordin, do you read?"  
"Certainly," he replied.  
"Helfinne, one of the medics, has a mate being held here. A turian named Tullvius. Keep an eye on her in case she needs some extra emotional support when we locate him. I don't think anybody else knows about him."  
"Of course. And who will be supporting you when we find Shepard?" Mordin asked. Garrus didn't have a chance to reply before Grunt emerged from the surveillance room, so he simply turned off his comms.

  
"Shepard's--"  
"Stop," Garrus snapped, cutting him off harshly. "I don't want to see or know anything about the state she's in until I can do something about it," he growled, turning to proceed down the hall.  
"She's not there," Sidonis blurted out and Garrus froze in his tracks.  
"What?" he whispered, turning to face them.  
"None of the screens show her," Grunt explained. A chill went down Garrus's spine and he was suddenly aware of the entire squad looking at him. A long moment passed before he could muster up any words.

  
"...we have to keep going. She could still be here, but isolated," he said, and hated how unsure he sounded. "Can we turn off the surveillance...? Give these people some dignity, and keep the medics from feeling overwhelmed."  
Dhern nodded and stepped back into the room. Garrus took some deep breaths, turning his back to the majority of the team and keeping his eyes down. Once Dhern returned, Garrus stood up straight and gestured for Grunt to take front position again.  
They moved down the hall and saw many doors, close together. They knew what they were likely to find. At the first, each one of them felt uncomfortable, but knew what needed to be done. Samara readied her biotics.

  
"Wait," Sidonis whispered. Samara stopped and Garrus looked at Sidonis, his mandibles twitching. Sidonis reached forward, gripped the handle, and turned it, pulling the door open.  
"Of course it's not locked," Sidonis murmured. "We are helpless."  
Garrus took his eyes off Sidonis for a moment to peer past him, into the room. It was brightly lit. A turian was lying on his side, facing away from the door, the bonds trailing out behind him. Before anyone had a chance to look too closely, Garrus gently pushed the door closed again.

  
"Shouldn't we check if they're alive?" Dhovile asked, frowning.  
"They'll only be frightened if you interact with them," Sidonis said quietly, mandibles flaring and twitching.  
"The medics will handle that," Garrus clarified. "We're just to make sure there's no hostiles camping out and move on. The last room down here may have Upholder and personal security, so we need to stay combat ready." His firm voice brought more resolve to the team, except for Sidonis, who wouldn't meet his eyes.

  
"Do you want to go back to the hangar? We can have you help with guard duty," Garrus offered quietly, trying to be discreet about Sidonis's discomfort.  
"No," he replied, shaking his head. "No, I'm fine. Just glad I'm on this side now and can accompany you to Upholder. It's time to finish this." He took a deep breath and brought his eyes back up. "I'm ready."  
"Let's go," he said with a nod, and the squad moved forward.


	10. Discovery

Grunt and Samara kept point as Garrus, Sidonis, and the rest continued down the long hall. They'd opened four doors total and found two turians, an asari, and a salarian. The hallway then turned and Garrus recognized this as a good opportunity to let the medics move forward. They got to the next door but before opening it, he gave them the signal.  
"Medics, you're clear to move forward. There are four closed doors containing victims before you get to the bend in the hall. Do _not_ turn past the corner yet. Zipal, come take up position at the turn to keep an eye on things just in case."  
Mordin and Zipal both gave the affirmative, and Garrus listened as Mordin continued to coordinate.  
"Miranda and Jacob, come. May need biotic support. While greatly disadvantaged now, it's possible that, like Shepard, each of these individuals are highly capable of combat if threatened."

  
Sidonis opened the next door; empty, save for a batarian on his knees, head to the floor, as if perhaps he were praying. They closed the door and continued onward. They found another salarian and turian in the next two.  
Then, Sidonis opened a door and the form lying on the ground was human. Garrus inhaled sharply and let his gaze stay this time, but soon realized the form had dark hair and was male. But by that time it was too late to look away; he saw the pale skin torn and bloody, bruised, burned...  
Sidonis closed the door and Garrus breathed again. He knew it wasn't Shepard, but the thought of her skin in that shape both chilled him to his core and made his blood boil. Seeing the other human had almost made it too real.

  
"Keep it together," Sidonis said under his breath, firm but understanding. "We're almost there. You know what we have to do."  
"Right," Garrus breathed. Now was not the time for a mental breakdown, as the hardest part was yet to come.  
The next two were batarian and another human, which Garrus handled better this time. As they approached the next door, shouting erupted from down the hall, but it was from behind them.

  
"Biotics to room two, need support!" came Mordin's desperate plea over the comms, with other voices in the background.  
"Kin, get here now!" screamed Jenil, the other asari medic. Kin jumped up with her biotics and flew like a superhero over the squad's heads and down the hall, faster than her feet would've taken her.  
"Mordin, what's happening?!" Garrus demanded. The low rumble of biotics and Kin's shouts echoed down the hall.  
"Heavy sedative, heavy sedative!" Mordin snapped. Then it was quiet.  
"Is everyone okay?" Dhovile asked. She was just about to turn back down the hall when Mordin returned to comms.

  
"Under control," he reported, sounding relieved and out of breath. "No injuries, however, new intel."  
"Go ahead," Garrus prompted.  
"Victims with biotic abilities implanted with inhibitor, directs biotic use at the user, self-inflicting. Recommend those be left in place until hostages can communicate."  
"The asari in room two was cooperating with medigel," Jenil jumped in to explain. "Tommy didn't know what the inhibitor was and removed it. Sayrloc and I kept him from being torn in half, but we needed Kin to get the asari contained. She's sedated now and will have to live with the inhibitor a little bit longer."  
"Sorry, captain," came Tommy's apology, sounding thoroughly shaken.  
"Guess that ought to teach you not to touch things you don't understand," Dhovile replied, but she sounded and appeared more relieved than chastising.  
"Yes, ma'am."

  
Garrus felt as sheepish as Tommy sounded; he hadn't even considered how those with biotics were being neutralized. He assumed they were, somehow, but hadn't taken the time to figure it out. Of course Sidonis wouldn't have that intel, as he's not biotic. They were lucky that missed detail hadn't led to a worse scenario.  
"How about the turian in room one?" Garrus asked, trying to redirect his thoughts.  
"Helfinne and Sokon are applying medigel with him in stasis," Mordin replied. "Appears cooperative, grateful. Most wounds observed so far do not surpass the body's ability to heal, given time and proper care. Injuries calculated, deliberate for pain and psychological effects, not life-threatening. Medigel mostly comfort measure now, saving them from worst of the pain. Future healing measures may involve cosmetic or reconstructive surgeries to eliminate scars, heal broken bones."  
"Right, fits what we expected," Garrus replied with a grim nod. "Keep us posted of any other developments."  
"Of course."  
  
*****  
  
Mordin observed as Jenil finished up applying medigel to the unconscious asari, Kin standing watch, and Tommy still sitting motionless nearby. Tommy was young and probably hadn't had many near death experiences yet. Mordin stepped over to the human and patted him on the shoulder to bring him back to present.  
"Strong biotics leave you tingling for a while, can't they?" he said lightheartedly.  
"Uh, yeah," he replied, shaking his head to clear it.  
"Pack your bag up. Likely be moving on soon."  
Tommy nodded and did as instructed, and Mordin turned towards the door to see Helfinne and Sokon ready to move to the next room. Satisfied that things were contained, he returned to the hallway to accompany them.

  
Helfinne opened the next door and Mordin saw her brows furrow and raise in a combination of hope and distress. She walked carefully towards the turian sitting against the back wall looking both poised and fragile. The turian raised his head to sigh when she was about halfway there, and her composure deflated somewhat. She didn't recognize him. But, dutifully, she continued forward with Sokon to do her job.  
Mordin kept his distance as she wrapped the turian in a gentle stasis field and crouched nearby. She opened her omnitool and began recording some notes as she looked him over, trying not to look at his resigned and pained expression.  
"Room three, turian male. Medium gray skin tone, deep purple facial markings. Most severe injuries appear to be stab wound on left hip and... bruising on neck, perhaps from strangulation attempts. Also burns on back and right shoulder," she said, then closed the omnitool. The medics had decided to keep some level of notes since they wouldn't have names to work with for a while. None of the hostages had dared to speak.

  
"Start with his back," Helfinne instructed Sokon. The salarian stepped forward and began administering medigel to the burns. The turian tensed in response to the touch, but then appeared confused. After a few minutes, he let himself relax, but his eyes stayed narrowed skeptically. Helfinne began working on his hip, and as the turian found relief his expression calmed and he closed his eyes.  
"They don't say thank you because they don't even know who we are," Sokon commented with a sigh. "These poor people."  
"They will know," Mordin assured him. "Even if not released yet, will not be subjected to more. When senses return, they'll understand."

  
Jenil and Tommy passed by in the hallway, moving on to the fourth room, and Garrus came over the comms.  
"We've cleared the second stretch of hallway," he announced. "Zipal, move up to the second turn and let the medics advance."  
The turian was tense again, uncomfortable with Helfinne touching his neck. The medigel would mostly just take away some of the pain and encourage healing in the tissues, so not much was needed.  
"We're done here. Let's give him some space," Helfinne said. She and Sokon stepped back towards the door and then she released the turian from his stasis field. He remained still, looking confused. He adjusted his weight as they left the room, clearly unsure how to feel about what just happened.

  
The next several rooms were uneventful, each hostage going through the cycle of scared, cautiously relieved, and then confused as the medics left. They closed each door behind them when they were done, letting their omnitool records keep track of who was in each one. Helfinne glanced in the rooms Jenil and Tommy worked in, eager to see a familiar turian face.  
Mordin alternated from pair to pair, mostly letting them handle the work while he supervised. They were more than halfway through the second hall when Helfinne opened the door to another turian, and Mordin watched her get her hopes up all over again.  
This turian was lying on his stomach, head turned towards them and resting on his right arm. His skin had a ruddy hue mingled in with the gray, and his face plates were spackled with white.

  
Helfinne's hands flew to her mouth and she gasped, "Tullvius!" She darted forward but Mordin caught her by the arm.  
"Doesn't know it's you," he reminded her firmly. "Dangerous to touch him, might lash out. Stasis field first." Helfinne choked out a sob, not taking her eyes off of her mate.  
"I won't touch him yet," she promised in a whisper. Mordin let go but stayed close as she hurried forward. Her hands wanted to reach out, but she stopped herself, tears over her cheeks. Sokon joined them, looking unsure.  
"Her mate," Mordin explained. "Take the notes of likeness and injuries. Name is Tullvius." Sokon nodded and began recording onto his omnitool.

  
Tullvius was asleep, completely unaware of the gunfight that had occurred as well as his mate hovering just above him. Two pieces of his fringe had been broken off, and one mandible was cracked and chipped. His left arm was hanging at an awkward angle below the elbow, and his left ankle also appeared to have been dislocated. His legs were dappled with burns from some kind of liquid, and his back lined with lashes from a whip. The bruises all mixed in together and could hardly be counted. There was an old gunshot wound in his right thigh and shallow cuts from a knife on what was visible of his chest.  
"When you're ready, reposition him," Mordin prompted. Helfinne gave a small nod and two shaky breaths then placed a stasis field over Tullvius, carefully bringing him to a sitting position. His eyes flew open, and he attempted to turn his head or move, but other than small adjustments of his neck, Helfinne was keeping him still.

  
"I have to tell him it's me," Helfinne whispered as Sokon finished his notes and began working with the medigel on the burns. Tullvius growled but had nothing to say.  
"Ideas?" Mordin asked, open to letting her try if she had a safe tactic. If they could get through to him, he wouldn't be a threat anymore.  
"...I could try melding with him," Helfinne said, still not taking her eyes off of him.  
"Risks?" Mordin inquired.  
"Melding when a person is unprepared or unwilling can feel like a mental invasion," Helfinne explained. "He may fight it, get aggravated. But it's possible he will recognize me and let me in, and then I can help him understand what's happening."  
"If he resists, might it damage him or you?"  
"It will be... unpleasant. But I can back off if he does. It will be upsetting and perhaps result in a headache, but nothing more."  
"Mmm." Mordin was intrigued and hopeful. "After the medigel. Then we'll try. If it doesn't work, he needs to stay here until his sight returns."  
"I know," Helfinne whispered. "I can be okay with that. But I'm certain he'll open up to me."

  
Sokon finished with the medigel but before Mordin gave Helfinne permission to attempt melding, he sent the salarian to get Kin from the hallway. He wanted back up biotics just in case Helfinne lost her composure and couldn't keep Tullvius contained. Mordin quickly briefed Kin and then they readied themselves. Sokon and Kin remained further back, but Mordin stayed close. He nodded, signifying they were ready for her attempt.  
Helfinne acknowledged it with a nod and then closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, doing her best to calm her energy before she tried to mix it with her mate's. Tullvius's expression had relaxed, but most of his body was still tense and untrusting.  
After several long minutes, Helfinne opened her eyes and they were black. Her mouth whispered words but no sound came. Tullvius's mandibles flared and he jerked his head back, but then he stopped, and his mandibles began twitching rapidly. His eyes widened but his brow plates still pushed together in confusion. Mordin could see on his face that he was trying to determine if he was dreaming or it was a trick.

  
Helfinne gently reached up and placed her hand just behind his mandible, then let it rest on his neck. Her other hand grasped his right hand, not wanting to aggravate his left elbow. Suddenly Tullvius's expression softened and he was also breathing in ragged breaths.  
"Helfinne?" he whispered. Helfinne quickly brought his hand up to her face and nodded, smiling through her tears. Tullvius gasped and then his entire body softened and the two of them fell still.  
Mordin, watching, was grinning, pleased with the success. He turned away and gave the two a bit more privacy, knowing they were communicating. He directed his comms to go to Garrus only.

  
"Garrus? I have a report," Mordin began.  
"Go ahead. Things are still uneventful here, but we're almost to the last office."  
"We discovered Tullvius," he announced cheerily. "Helfinne managed to meld with him, which means he will no longer be a danger to himself or others. She will likely want to stay close."  
"That's good to hear," Garrus said, sounding relieved. "What do you suggest we do for him going forward?"  
"Hmm," Mordin thought for a moment. "Helfinne is communicating now. I'll have her inform me of what she learns. If fully aware, we may cut him loose and let him accompany us. I can take over medigel duties, but would like her to stay close for biotics support."  
"If you feel safe with that, that's fine with me," Garrus replied. "Kin is still with you too, right?"  
"Yes, will also keep her close."

  
"Helfinne's melding... could she do that for any of our other hostages? Help them understand they're safe?" Garrus asked.  
"Don't believe so," Mordin sighed. "Tullvius recognized her, let her in. Unfamiliar individuals would resist and it could cause more stress and panic. Will update you if my assumption is incorrect."  
"Right," Garrus said, unsurprised by the information. It made sense that melding attempts from a stranger wouldn't be welcomed, but it sure would've made the communication problem simpler. "Anyway, I'll alert you before we storm the last room."  
"Good, good."

  
Mordin turned back to the couple and after a few moments, they both sat up straighter and Helfinne turned and gestured for Mordin.  
"He understands that there's no more danger, and we're all here to help. Must we leave him here? It would be cruel for me to leave him," she pleaded. Tullvius was no longer under the stasis field and was sitting calmly, gripping his mate's hand tightly.  
"If you're certain he understands, we can free him," Mordin began. "I will apply medigel in your place, but you and Tullvius will continue to accompany us."  
"That's fine, that's perfect," Helfinne agreed enthusiastically.  
"First, must reset his joints," Mordin pointed out, looking at Tullvius's elbow and ankle. "His mobility will improve, but, will be painful. Warn him."  
"Of course." Helfinne focused on Tullvius again, and this time the communication was quick and efficient. "He understands. He's ready," she told Mordin.

  
Mordin knelt down beside Tullvius and gently gripped his arm and forearm, feeling the joint to make sure he knew just the right adjustment to make. Then he gripped more firmly and again looked at Helfinne. Tullvius, understanding, gave a nod.  
Mordin forcefully the shifted the joint with a loud click. Tullvius growled and cringed, but made no sudden movements, just flexed his left hand slowly. Mordin applied a light layer of medigel to assist with pain. Then he inspected the ankle, gave Tullvius a moment of warning, then clicked it back into place and applied another light layer of medigel. Tullvius sighed with relief.

  
"He's grateful," Helfinne told Mordin.  
"I know," Mordin replied, continuing with business. "I have a laser on my omnitool, can cut the bonds. It is material specific, but still safer if he knows to remain still."  
"I'll tell him," Helfinne said with a nod. Once Tullvius was ready, Mordin sliced all of his bonds and he was once again free. He and Helfinne embraced, sharing one another's relief.  
"Fascinating," Mordin mumbled to himself, unable to keep a grin off his face. Moments ago this turian had been a shell of what he was, forlorn and convinced cruelty was his only companion. Now, though he still had lots of healing to do, he had come alive. He was scarred and damaged but standing tall, not only due to the aid but especially due to his reunion with his bondmate.  
Mordin was eager to see the others, especially Shepard, come to life as they made their journey back to themselves.  
  
*****  
  
Garrus had lost count of how many hostage rooms they had checked. None of them held hostiles, but each one was occupied by some unfortunate individual.  
There was no sign of either Upholder or Shepard, and only two doors in the entire facility (that they knew of) left.  
Garrus couldn't even begin to describe how out of sorts he felt, but he hid it well, promising himself he'd at least get his hands on Upholder soon.  
Sidonis had opened each door so far. It was somewhat cathartic for him to be back at the Cruciate and overseeing the liberation of the victims; Garrus recognized this and was happy to let him have those moments. However, Sidonis paused at the second to last door and looked at him knowingly. Garrus wished he hadn't and simply gestured for him to continue.

  
The door opened, revealing another salarian. Garrus slammed the door shut, feeling a switch in him trigger and take over.  
"Egacress team, hold here," he growled, and charged forward, readying his pistol. No one questioned him. He went to the last door and attempted to open it, but it didn't budge. He shot a look at Samara, but before he could speak or she could assist, a shotgun blast burst through the door. The debris bounced off Garrus's armor harmlessly and he jumped back. Samara sent the door flying inward and Grunt charged in, closely followed by Garrus and Sidonis.

  
There wasn't much cover for them in this room, either. There was a lounge area up front and a small office partitioned by half a clear wall. In a back alcove was a bed and nightstand.  
Five mercenaries were lined up in the lounge, completely jeopardizing their own maneuverability. Gunfire and battle cries erupted throughout the room. Garrus and Sidonis made short work of a turian and salarian, while two krogan charged Grunt and Samara pinned the last krogan to the wall. Sidonis shifted his aim to the krogan wrestling Grunt, but Garrus had spotted his objective: Upholder.  
Alvord Sumner was standing behind the barrier to his office, calm as could be. He was once again dressed nicely, hands in his pockets, appearing contemplative as he watched the scene unfold before him.  
Keeping his eyes on the human, Garrus aimed his pistol through his peripherals and whittled down at the krogan Samara was weakening. Once he was down, Samara shifted her focus to helping Grunt and soon the two other krogan were also dead on the floor.

  
Garrus pointed his pistol straight ahead and fired. The bullet ricocheted off the protective glass and Upholder didn't flinch, simply smirked. He slowly raised his hands.  
"I surrender."  
Garrus growled and narrowed his eyes, fired again, just for his own satisfaction, then lowered his gun with disgust. Samara's biotics bristled at the ready and Grunt kept his shotgun pointed at the human as he stepped out from behind the glass. Garrus noticed a slash on Upholder's neck and face that hadn't been there a few days before and his eyes lit up, unable to hold back a smug grin. Intuitively, he knew Shepard had given it to him, and that meant she was probably here, somewhere.

  
"Where is she?" Garrus demanded.  
"I remember you. The turian with Shep--"  
A bullet whizzed by his head, and this time Upholder did flinch. Garrus's expression was back to full fury, head lowered dangerously.  
"You don't speak her name." It wasn't a suggestion. It was a command. Upholder scoffed, seemingly disgusted at having to be at their mercy.  
"You don't need me to tell you where she is, Garrus," he grumbled. "I'm sure between you and Sidonis you'll figure it out. I remember him, too." He locked eyes with Sidonis, smirking slightly, but Sidonis only narrowed his eyes in response.  
"Good, then I'm almost done with you," Garrus snapped. "Who else knows about this place?"

  
"Everyone who knows about this place is here, save for former residents."  
"You mean prisoners," Sidonis corrected, glaring daggers. Upholder shrugged.  
"Good," Garrus growled, raising his pistol.  
"I think you've mistaken me. The one I report to is here," Upholder clarified smoothly.  
"...what?" Garrus muttered.  
"The mercs who surrendered," Sidonis interjected. "One of them could be in charge, posing as merc."  
"Is that true?" Garrus asked Upholder.  
"I don't believe I'm quite ready to divulge that piece of information," Upholder said casually, as if turning down a boring appetizer.

  
"Fine," Garrus scoffed. "We'll sort you out later. Grunt and Samara, take him back to the hangar, but keep him separate from the other mercs. Have the rest of Dhovile's team go to the hangar too, except for Dhern and Voso. Have them stand guard on this end of the hall, just in case of any surprises."  
Samara checked Upholder for weapons while Grunt kept his shotgun planted against the human's spine. Upholder rolled his eyes but kept his hands on his head and cooperated, allowing himself to be led out of the room. Both turians watched him go, filled with disgust for different, but similar, reasons.  
"We've got a door to find," Garrus grunted, reminding himself to think about justice and revenge later.  
"And a Commander," Sidonis added. Garrus felt his heart jump into his throat just thinking about it and could only nod in response.

  
There wasn't anywhere obvious to look first, so they simply began rummaging around. Garrus went to the office area and Sidonis began looking around the bed. The desk had an omnitool and a terminal screen that was off. Garrus didn't want to look there unless he had to, so he left them untouched and checked the drawers for keys or codes that might prove useful.  
"Hey, there's a door at the back of his closet," Sidonis called. Garrus went to him and saw a large walk-in alcove near the bed with various personal items, including wardrobe and a space suit, and a shower. The door at the back was solid and Sidonis stepped aside to let Garrus try it.  
It was unlocked, but on the other side was just another small room, but completely unfurnished. There was a door on the other side with a large clear panel that showed outside.  
"It's an airlock," Sidonis said, perplexed. "Why didn't he use it to run?"  
"His whole operation is here... he'd rather go down with it than start over," Garrus speculated. He brought his comms up and contacted Zipal. "Zipal, I'm sending you a location ping on my omnitool. Find one of the Normandy team and get a suit that would fit Shepard. Then bring the shuttle around to this corner of the facility and stand by."  
"On my way," Zipal replied.

  
"At least we'll get Shepard somewhere secure discreetly," Garrus sighed, then headed back into the main room with Sidonis following. Garrus went back to the desk and Sidonis looked around the entire room, willing an answer to come to him.  
"Did you find Shepard?" Grunt asked over comms. "I saw Miranda get the suit."  
"Not yet," Garrus grumbled.  
Grunt had some kind of reply, but Sidonis didn't hear it. He was looking at the bodies of the last five mercenaries when he remembered something. Darting down the steps and kneeling by the turian, he began searching the mercs body. Rolling the body over got Garrus's attention, but he ignored the quizzical look.  
Then he found it. A card key. He held it up and showed it to Garrus.

  
"How did you--"  
"When I was here, Upholder wasn't the only one who... hurt me," Sidonis explained quietly. "There were many different species. I think he was trying to create a sense of our squad haunting me." He stood up and walked over to Garrus. "Upholder was keeping her private, but he knows about Shepard's relationship with you, so I thought... maybe..." He didn't need to continue. He offered the card key and Garrus took it without saying a word.  
"Now where do we use it?" Garrus mumbled.

  
"...your friend said this used to be used for experimenting on Vorcha?" Sidonis asked suddenly.  
"Yeah."  
"A scientist wouldn't be keeping a test subject this close to his personal quarters."  
"Which means the extra containment facility was probably added on after Upholder inherited it," Garrus realized.  
"Think back to when we flew in," Sidonis said. "Do you remember seeing anywhere on the outside structure that looked newer than the rest?"  
"No..." Garrus frowned. "Do you?"  
"No. Could we have missed it?"  
"Or what if it was added on to in a different way?"  
The two of them looked around the room again, perplexed. Sidonis looked again at the mercs on the floor, the nice couches covered in different shades of blood, the expensive rug...

  
"What about underground?" Sidonis asked suddenly.  
"Of course! Help me clear the lounge."  
Garrus and Sidonis went down to the lounge area and began clearing the bodies to the sides. They moved the couches, lifted the rug, but the ground beneath was solid. Once again unsure, they looked around for anything else that might be hiding a door underneath.

  
"The bed?" Sidonis asked, wringing his hands uncomfortably.  
"Of course," Garrus growled. It made too much sense that Upholder would position it that way.  
The two of them moved the bed easily, setting it up on its side. Underneath was a large, flat panel in the flooring with a small slot for a card.  
"That's it, gotta be," Sidonis muttered. Garrus simply nodded and knelt down, inserting the card key. The panel slid away, revealing a well-lit stairway going down. His hands curled into fists as he stared at it.  
"Do you want me to stay up here?" Sidonis asked quietly.  
"No. I'll need you to communicate with the team," Garrus replied. With that he turned off his own comms, not wanting to be distracted or responsible for first response.

  
He had never in his life felt so conflicted. He'd seen many horrible things before, but nearly every time, Shepard had been next to him, ready to face it with him. He didn't ever want to see what he knew he would find, that being _her_ suffering the horrible things. And yet, he also wanted to run down there as fast as he could.  
Sidonis was waiting. Garrus was walking down the steps before he thought about doing it, and he embraced the autopilot. At the end of the hall was another door, and he didn't allow himself to hesitate. It was unlocked. He pulled it open.  
If not for Sidonis and the doorframe, he would've fallen to his knees.


	11. Restore

In some ways, Shepard was difficult to recognize. The cut on her face and black eye dramatically changed her familiar expression. The purple and yellow swollen skin on her abdomen and neck added to the mottled look caused by cuts and burns on her legs and side. What was left of her clothes hung ragged off of her body which was smaller and weaker now than it had been only days before. And her hair, shorn and ragged...  
She was like a different creature...

  
But Shepard was there.  
She was there in the way she stood, weight balanced even though she looked as strong as glass, strong until the moment it's not. Shepard was there in her hands on the pistol, her grip as solid and precise as ever. She wasn't pointing it at anything, but it was clear she was expecting and eagerly waiting an opportunity to. She was there in the way her eyes were still open, even though she couldn't see, demanding advantageous information and answers out of her unknown surroundings.  
It took Garrus's breath away. He wanted to grieve and celebrate at the same time. He ripped off his helmet, mandibles flaring and twitching nonstop as he tried to get a handle on his soaring, pounding heart. Finally, with several shaky breaths, he trusted his legs enough to stand straight and took a few steps forward. His hands also flexed and shook, wishing he could do something more productive than stare.

  
"Garrus," Sidonis said, sounding like it wasn't the first time he'd tried to get his attention, "we need biotics to safely get the gun away from her first. Do you want me to bring Samara back?"  
"...no. No, get Kin," Garrus eventually replied quietly, and only halfway heard Sidonis on the comms.  
It was disorienting to see Shepard standing there, so close, so unaware of what was happening. Garrus kept expecting her to turn, to look him in the eye, to relax her stance... It was probably a good thing she didn't. He wouldn't have been able to keep himself from embracing her if she had.  
Then Sidonis was speaking to him again.  
"We can use the biotics to keep her still, too, but... how will you get her to realize it's you?"  
He didn't have an answer. He didn't know how much time had passed but eventually he realized Kin was standing nearby, waiting for a signal.

  
"Just retrieve the pistol... for now," Garrus instructed quietly, not taking his eyes off Shepard.  
Blue light rippled around Shepard's hands and she gritted her teeth, eyes widening. She looked outraged that it was being taken from her and attempted to fire it, but Kin was jamming the trigger. Shepard's knuckles were white before the pistol finally left her grasp and floated over to Kin, who simply held it at her side.  
Without the pistol, Shepard's posture crumpled. She scoffed and fell to her knees, hands clenched into fists. Garrus knew what that pistol must have meant to her, and how confused she must be. Soon, he kept reminding himself. Soon she will know. But how?

  
He looked at her hunched shoulders and head hanging down, and suddenly it hit him.  
"She can smell," he said out loud.  
"Smell?" Sidonis asked. Garrus began removing his armor, exposing his arms.  
"She once used my top as a blanket, and told me she liked the way it smelled," he explained. "I can give it to her and see what happens."  
"No harm in trying," Sidonis agreed with a hopeful shrug.  
Garrus had removed all the armor on his upper half and then removed his shirt. He stepped forward cautiously, still wary of surprising her.  
"Stay ready," he heard Sidonis say to Kin, but kept going.  
Garrus stood beside her and carefully lowered his shirt down over her back to rest on her shoulders. Before he had let go of it Shepard reached up, grabbed it, and threw it away from her, scoffing in disgust. Garrus's mandibles flared in distress but Sidonis kept him focused.

  
"Try again," he said. "She didn't realize and she has no reason to be curious about anything she encounters here."  
Garrus nodded and walked around Shepard to retrieve his shirt, giving her a wide bubble of space. She was sitting still, like a caged animal with no where to go, the tension in her posture clear. Once more he returned to her side and placed the shirt over her back, and once more she threw it away from her with ferocity. Garrus's shoulders slumped.  
"One more time," Sidonis urged quickly.  
"Do you want me to keep her from throwing it?" Kin asked gently.  
"No... I think the biotics keeping her still just makes her expect the worst. I know it would me," Sidonis replied, and Garrus agreed with a nod. He picked up the shirt and returned to Shepard's side.  
"Come on, Shepard..." he pleaded in a whisper, even though he knew she couldn't hear him. He lowered the shirt onto her back, imagining he could package up all his love and care for her and send it with it.

  
Again she grabbed at it quickly, pulling it off her back, but before she threw it, she paused. Garrus moved in front of her and knelt down, still giving her space but watching her face closely. Her brows were furrowed, a deep frown still on her face, but her fingers were slowly stroking the fabric. She brought the clothing closer to her, holding it just under her chin. Moments that seemed to last hours passed as she simply sat there and breathed.  
"...Garrus?" Her voice was a raspy whimper. Garrus let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, but forced himself to stay still and let her set the pace. He watched her muster up courage before letting go of the shirt with one trembling hand and slowly extend it outward. He took her hand in both of his and she flinched, but didn't pull away.  
Deep, shaky breaths escaped her and Garrus could see she was beginning to hope and daring to trust. His eyes were locked on hers so intently he almost forgot to blink. He already knew that his scars would be the only way she would know without a doubt it was him, and he was now past the hard part of just getting her to allow contact. Gently he brought her hand closer to him and her eyes widened as she let him take it.

  
The soft skin on her hand, one of the few places not marred by injury, brushed against the uneven, rough skin on his face.  
Immediately a sob escaped her and Shepard threw herself forward, her hands curling against his chest since she couldn't get them far enough apart to wrap around his neck. Garrus exhaled with relief and carefully, sensitive to her wounds, wrapped his arms around her. His chest began rumbling with his own elation but he also hoped she would feel it and know it meant she was safe.  
Shepard was too overcome with emotion to speak and Garrus felt that just letting her feel his purrs was more important than any words he might want to say that she couldn't hear. He felt her tears on his chest as she let herself release everything she'd been holding in.

  
Kin (who may have been wiping a tear of her own) and Sidonis had stepped to the back of the room and Garrus was vaguely aware of Sidonis giving the instruction to get Chakwas and her supplies to the Egacress. As much as he reveled in this moment, Garrus knew this was only the beginning of Shepard's rescue and recovery.  
As Shepard's cries began to subside, Garrus reached between them and replaced his shirt over her shoulders, letting her keep it for comfort. He placed both his hands on her shoulders, then brought them to the bonds on her wrists.  
"...it's time to go," she said as she calmed her sobs, understanding his meaning. Garrus brought one hand back up to his face and nodded.  
"Okay," she sniffed, wiping at her face. "Just... keep touching me somehow, please. I don't want to wonder how far away you are again..." Garrus nodded again, nuzzling her hand for a moment before bringing it back between them. He turned to look at his omnitool, which he'd left back with his armor, but Sidonis was already bringing it to him. Some primal part of Garrus almost reacted defensively, but he reminded himself to calm down and graciously took the omnitool from him.

  
"I'll go get the space suit from Zipal and bring it back to you," Sidonis muttered and discreetly dismissed himself and Kin.  
Shepard was still and quiet as Garrus carefully cradled her wrist and lasered through the first shackle. Once the second was done, Shepard placed her hand on his arm and then brought her feet forward and soon she was free. There was a whole other layer of relief that hit as soon as those were gone. She placed her hand back on his face and looked at him seriously. He placed his hand over hers.  
"Is Upholder dead?" she asked, her expression grim. Garrus's mandibles twitched and he shook his head 'no'.  
"Do you know where he is?" He nodded.  
"Did you capture him?" He nodded again and Shepard visibly relaxed.  
"Is he on the Normandy?" Garrus shook his head firmly.  
"Are... we going to the Normandy?" He shook his head again and she was silent for a moment, probably unsure of what yes or no question she could ask next. Garrus brought his forehead to hers, trying to offer whatever comfort and support he could even while communication was still incredibly limited. She closed her eyes and leaned into it.  
"...does the team know where I am?" she eventually asked. He kept his head close, but nodded.  
"...you're giving me a chance to recover before going back." It wasn't a question but Garrus gently nodded once more. Shepard slowly brought her arms up around his neck, letting her head rest on his shoulder as she exhaled heavily.  
"Thank you."

  
Garrus held her with one hand on the back of her head and the other around her back. After a couple moments, he adjusted his grip and picked her up, standing and carrying her the short distance to his armor. He sat down with her, and when she let go of his neck he picked up his helmet and placed her hand on it.  
"We need a suit to get to the shuttle," she said. He brought her hand to his face and nodded. At that moment Sidonis returned down the stairs, holding a simple folded space suit and helmet. It wasn't specifically Shepard's, but it was one of the many extra sets made to fit human females and asari.  
"Thank you," Garrus said as Sidonis handed it to him. He put it in front of Shepard and placed her hand on it.

  
"That's... efficient," she commented, caught somewhat off guard by the item suddenly appearing. Garrus smiled a little, taking it as a compliment that she appreciated his readiness. She started to take off his shirt to return it to him, but he stopped her, securing it on her shoulders firmly. The armor wouldn't be an ideal fit for him without it or the space suit for her with it, but it was perfectly doable and he wanted her to have the extra layer. A faint smile crossed Shepard's face, the first one she had worn in days.  
They sat close together, Shepard keeping one hand on Garrus's leg as he put the armor back on his top half. Shepard wasn't very steady on her feet yet, so Garrus did what he could to support her but kept a hand on her even when she didn't need it. As soon as she was done, Garrus picked her up again. She didn't protest.

  
Sidonis stepped aside and let Garrus go up first. Garrus stepped towards the closet area that led to the airlock, but turned when he realized that Sidonis was hanging behind.  
"I'm going to stay here," he announced, wringing his hands. "I... want to help the other hostages. I feel that's where I'll be most effective."  
"I understand," Garrus replied with a nod. He felt Shepard tense in his arms, recognizing that he was talking to somebody else. He gave her a little squeeze to reassure her. "I'm going to stay off comms for a while... Let Mordin and Dhovile take point. You guys can ping me if I'm needed. But I want immediate updates if Upholder or one of the mercenaries says anything that you think might be useful."  
"Of course," Sidonis said with a nod.

  
"Oh, and visit with Helfinne," Garrus said. "Her bondmate, Tullvius was also being held here. Mordin told me she was able to communicate through melding and he's already been released. I'm to pass on her gratitude to you for... helping to make this possible." He dipped his head respectfully and added emphatically, "You have mine as well."  
Sidonis brushed it off, rubbing the back of his neck, but was smiling.  
"I'm sure I'll see it in her eyes as well," he said casually. With nothing left to say, the two of them simply nodded and Garrus turned and began to head through the airlock. Shepard placed a hand on his helmet.

  
"You were talking with someone," she said, and he nodded. "Was it someone from the crew?" Garrus shook his head. The airlock opened and wind rushed around them. The shuttle was only a few steps away. "Someone who was stationed here?" Shepard sounded perplexed and he shook his head again as the shuttle door opened.  
"An ally?" He nodded, stepping into the shuttle and taking a seat, but keeping her in his lap. He gave a go signal to Zipal as Shepard kept asking questions.  
"Someone I know?" He hesitated, but then nodded. "...someone I'm likely to guess?"  
Garrus chuckled and shook his head.  
The shuttle engine hummed and as it began to move, Shepard decided to ask more questions later. Garrus felt her body relax in his arms and purred some more, happy to give her rest.  
  
*****  
  
Room B4 on the Egacress was unnervingly quiet... at least to Garrus. He and Shepard had removed their armor and space suit and were sitting on the bed, Garrus reclined against the wall and Shepard against him, still covered by his shirt and now also a blanket. He intended to let her keep his shirt until Chakwas arrived with some of her own clothes. Maybe longer, if she wanted it.  
Shepard was asleep now. She'd fallen asleep on the shuttle and again after removing her space suit, her movements sluggish and uncoordinated. It seemed likely it was simply days of unrest catching up to her, but Garrus wished Chakwas would hurry... He gently stroked Shepard's head, feeling the uneven strands and frowning as he worried.  
Shepard's breathing suddenly became fast and shallow. Garrus's mandibles twitched and he adjusted his position, trying to get a better look at her face. She was crying and cringing and he didn't know what to do. She woke but her mind was still in the dream, and then she was shouting with her broken voice and pushing on Garrus's chest, shoving herself away.

  
"Shepard!" Garrus cried, wishing he could break her out of it but she still couldn't hear him.  
She slipped out of his grasp as he'd been too afraid of hurting her to hold tightly. She fell off the bed and pushed herself backwards until she hit the bed on the opposite side of the room. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her body trembling, but Garrus's shirt was still on her back.  
He didn't have much choice but to overpower her and risk her attacking him. He quickly knelt down in front of her, grasped her wrists, and forced her hands to his face. At first she tried to get away, but he was stronger, even though it broke his heart to have to be rough with her. Her voice cracked in the middle of a shout and then she stopped, realization hitting her. Her eyes opened and she was still, and Garrus eased his hold on her wrists.

  
"Oh, Garrus..." Shepard couldn't say anything else. She put her arms back around his neck and cried, and Garrus's body trembled too. He didn't want to ever have to do that again.  
Minutes passed with them still on the floor until the door opened and Chakwas stepped in carrying a medium sized duffel bag. Garrus glanced at her and relived all the emotions as he saw them play across the doctor's face; shock, horror, disgust, fear, relief, even fury, and then resolve to do what had to be done.  
"She had a nightmare," Garrus explained weakly. Shepard tensed and curled in to Garrus, aware that he was talking to someone. Chakwas just gave a shaky nod.

  
"Let's get her back on the bed," she said, and placed the duffel bag on the counter as she began rummaging through it. "She still can't see or hear?"  
"No," Garrus replied, lifting Shepard as gently as he could back onto the bed. He kept himself sitting right behind her. "She's asked some yes or no questions and I can nod or shake my head, and that's been the only way we've been able to communicate."  
"I think I can do a bit better than that," Chakwas said. She pulled out some of Shepard's casual wear and approached the two of them, but set the clothes on the bed.  
"Garrus, who's here?" Shepard whimpered, her adrenaline keeping her from thinking of a yes or no question.

  
"Give me her hand," Chakwas prompted. Garrus brought Shepard's hand to his face one more time for comfort, then handed it to Chakwas. Shepard flinched but didn't pull away, and Garrus watched as Chakwas used a finger from her opposite hand to draw some kind of symbols.  
"Chakwas!" Shepard breathed after a few seconds, her eyes widening. Chakwas held Shepard's hand tightly to confirm and Shepard returned the gesture, relief evident in her posture.  
"Did you write?" Garrus asked incredulously.  
"Shepard and I share the same alphabet," Chakwas said simply, smiling with happiness that she was able to reconnect with her Commander. "Has she told you anything specific about her pain?" she asked Garrus.  
"She hasn't said anything about it," he frowned.  
"Of course not," Chakwas tsked. She began to write out a different word, but this time Shepard frowned.

  
"I don't understand," Shepard said weakly. "Do you... not speak English?"  
"Oh, my," Chakwas gasped.  
"What? What is it?" Garrus demanded, confused.  
"We have the same alphabet but we speak different languages," Chakwas explained. "Humans have hundreds. Shepard and I both have Alliance-grade intergalactic translators and they've been working for our human languages as well, we just... never realized."  
"But her translator won't work on words she feels, only what she hears," Garrus finished, realizing the problem.  
"Exactly."  
"What can we do?"

  
"Use an omnitool to translate." It was Shepard who made the suggestion. Garrus stared at her.  
"Can you hear us?" he asked, but she didn't respond or turn in his direction. She must have figured it out on her own.  
"Here we are," Chakwas said, bringing up a translator on her omnitool. "I'll just do a couple words at a time and that should keep it simple enough." She took Shepard's hand again and began writing.  
"...you want to know where I'm in the most pain," Shepard clarified, looking down. Chakwas placed her other hand to her face and nodded. "I don't remember what my head is supposed to feel like," she began. "I'm constantly dizzy and it feels like it's split open. My stomach... I know it's bruised. I don't remember exactly what happened... It hurts there everytime I breathe, and my throat."

  
Chakwas gently placed Shepard's hands back in her own lap and adjusted her omnitool.  
"Garrus, can you sit beside her for a moment? I can't accurately scan both of you at once."  
Garrus did as told and Shepard reached for his hand, which he took, and Chakwas began scanning. Garrus watched her face, mandibles twitching in concern. Chakwas's face continued to change as she went.  
"Her Cerberus cybernetics may be the only thing that kept her from needing surgery," Chakwas murmured. "I would've expected to see internal bleeding which could have been fatal." She lowered her omnitool and studied her without it now, Shepard just sitting there uncomfortably. "If she desires to correct any of the scars, we can... but we'll talk about that when the time comes."

  
"She hasn't seen any of them yet. Does she have to?" Garrus asked, looking at Shepard sadly.  
"A cosmetic surgery would detract her body's healing from the important wounds right now," Chakwas told him. "You'll be there when she sees them."  
"Of course," he replied firmly. "What about her biotics inhibitor? I found it on her head, but... I didn't feel qualified to remove it."  
"Show me," Chakwas said.  
Garrus placed his hand on Shepard's upper back first, then slowly moved it up to the inhibitor. Chakwas then placed her hand there to understand what exactly it was.  
"Don't," Shepard said, tensing. "I know what that is. Don't remove it yet. Not until I can see or hear." Chakwas removed her hand.

  
"How long?" Shepard and Garrus asked at once. Chakwas smiled a little and wrote for Shepard as she spoke to Garrus.  
"This drug moves slow, but she should begin to see improvements in about 24 hours. It won't come back all at once," she told Garrus. "When she's ready, you can remove the inhibitor by pulling gently. It will hurt some, and it will bleed. A cold, wet cloth should handle it just fine though. If you feel nervous about it, I can come up and take care of it."  
"Will you be staying on the Egacress?" Garrus asked.  
"I'll be in the med bay. I figured I might as well help them there and stay close," she replied, then picked up the clothes for Shepard and placed them in her hands.  
"My clothes," she muttered. "Is there somewhere I can shower first?" Garrus brought her hand to his cheek and nodded. "Will you help me?" He nodded again.

  
"Before that," Chakwas interjected, bringing up the omnitool translator again, then taking Shepard's hand. "I brought some food and have some pills she can take for pain and rest," she said to Garrus as she wrote on Shepard's palm.  
"I don't want a sedative," Shepard said firmly.  
"I'm telling her it's a sleep aid, not a sedative," Chakwas said, then looked at Garrus pointedly. "It's a little bit of a sedative. Her nerves need it." Garrus nodded in understanding as Chakwas continued to write.  
"I can wait until after I'm dressed to eat," Shepard said. Chakwas nodded and gave Shepard one last message before placing her hand back in her lap.

  
"I've told her that you have all the pertinent care instructions," Chakwas told Garrus, then began laying out food, pills, and a small bottle near Shepard's clothes. She held up the bottle first. "Use this in the shower. It's medical grade soap and will help her wounds," she told him, then set it down and picked up a food packet of powder. "There's a bran loaf and some cookies, but if chewing and swallowing is too much for her, mix this with water. It tastes good and will at least get something in her belly."  
Chakwas got a cup of water and handed it and two of the pills to Shepard. She hesitated, but then took them, coughing a little after. Chakwas placed the cup back on the counter next to the other two pills.  
"The ones she just took were for pain. Don't give her the other two until after her shower, as she's eating. It will get her to sleep, and quickly. Let me know when she wakes up. I'll come back later when she needs another check."

  
"Isn't there more we can do for her?" Garrus pleaded, mandibles twitching as he looked at Shepard. Chakwas stepped forward and placed a hand on Garrus's shoulder, getting his attention.  
"It looks awful, I know. It is awful. But her body is strong," she began, her expression soft. "Fresh clothes, a meal, sleep, being with you... normalcy will do wonders very quickly. I promise." She gave his shoulder a pat and squeezed Shepard's hand.  
"Thank you." Garrus and Shepard spoke at the same time again, and Chakwas smiled at them both before picking up her bag and excusing herself.  
Garrus gave a heavy sigh and leaned over, resting his head against Shepard's and closing his eyes for a moment. She relaxed into him. After a few moments of stillness, Garrus stood up and took her hands, gently pulling her to her feet. She brought her hand to his face, stroking the scars there.  
"Time for a shower?" she asked. He nodded and they went together to the bathroom.  
  
*****  
  
Garrus woke, reveling in the feel of Shepard's body next to him, his arm around her. Her breathing was deep and slow, her muscles completely limp.  
Garrus was learning how right Chakwas was. Just the hot water of the shower seemed to soothe Shepard's nerves quite a bit. By the time she was in her own clothes, though she was still sluggish, her movements were less rigid. The solid food had been too much work, as tired as she was, but she had actually smiled when Garrus gave her the drink, commenting that Chakwas knew her favorite flavor. She had fought sleep at first, shifting restlessly for several minutes. However, now Garrus was certain she hadn't moved in a long time.

  
Moving as little as possible, he reached for his omnitool on the desk and checked for any alerts. It had been several hours and there was no sign anyone had attempted to contact him. For a moment he thought about moving so he wouldn't wake Shepard, but then remembered it wouldn't matter. He opened a comm channel with Sidonis and Mordin.  
"How's everything going?" he asked.  
"Quite well," Mordin replied. "Two of the salarians are already regaining their senses, metabolize drug faster than other species. Soon we can begin bringing them to Egacress. Batarians and asari next."

  
"Any trouble from the mercenaries?" Garrus asked.  
"No, Dhovile moved them not too long ago, including Upholder," Sidonis replied. "They're in the cells on the Egacress now. I believe a couple have had conversations with Dhern about joining Aria's employ, but they're still under full guard and nothing else has been said."  
"Hmm. We might need to lean on them. But I'm not sure when I'll be getting away..." Garrus said, looking down at Shepard's chest rising and falling.  
"You've got time," Sidonis assured him.

  
"How is she?" Mordin asked.  
"She's..." Garrus paused, at a loss for words to describe the person curled up next to him. "...Chakwas says she'll be fine. Her body is tired. But she seems to be getting good rest right now," he eventually explained.  
"Shepard is resilient," Mordin agreed.  
"I've been watching Helfinne and Tullvius. I'm glad that soon everyone will be back with their loved ones. It seems to have good healing effects," Sidonis commented.  
"That's awfully tender of you to say," Garrus replied, a slight teasing tone in his voice.

  
"Sidonis right," Mordin interjected. "Companionship effects whole nervous system. Sleep, digestion, heart rate, all improved. Mirror neurons in most species--"  
"Rain check on the lecture, Mordin," Garrus chuckled.  
"Of course. Should wait til Shepard can hear it too."  
Garrus snickered and then dismissed himself from the comms, thanking them and encouraging them to reach out if he was needed. He stared at his omnitool for a moment, then thought of Liara. She'd probably appreciate being notified of Shepard's rescue, but he wasn't really feeling up to going into all the details yet. He typed out a message.

  
_Liara,_   
_Shepard is safe and with me now. She will be recovering for a few days at least. I'll have her call you when she's feeling up to it._   
_He thought of Upholder and remembered his status as a Shadow Broker agent. He added:_   
_I have your agent. I'm not sure what will become of him yet. I'm guessing you don't have any problems with whatever I decide._   
_Thanks for your help._   
_Garrus_

  
He set the omnitool down next to him and spent a few moments with his eyes closed, listening to Shepard breathing, before it pinged.

  
_Garrus,_   
_I'm glad to hear Shepard is on her way to feeling well again._   
_I don't care what you do with Alvord, but let me know if you kill him so I can declare him as such in my records._   
_Give Shepard my love._   
_Liara_

  
Just as he finished reading, Shepard shifted next to him. She moaned and cringed against her body's protests. Garrus put down the omnitool and began stroking her hair. He purred when she didn't flinch, and instead brought her hand up to his scars, running her fingers over them.  
"I wish you could hear me," Garrus said quietly, bringing his head close to hers and holding her close.  
"I wish I could hear you," Shepard said, eyes still closed. "I know I will soon, I just... I want to hear about what you did. Who helped you, where we are right now, how you found me, what else you found... I'd rather listen to that than tell you about my experience." Her eyes flew open and she frowned.  
"Were there... other people held captive there?" she asked quietly. Garrus's mandibles twitched and he nodded.  
"Are they safe now too?" He nodded again.  
"Good," she murmured, her body relaxing again. Moments passed in silence before she spoke again.

  
"He tried to make me believe you were dead," she said suddenly, an edge to her voice. Garrus tensed and he frowned, unsure how to respond to that, even if she couldn't see or hear it. "I figured out it wasn't true. But it was the having to find out part that scared me... You probably went through the same thing when you found me, not knowing what you'd find..."  
Tiredness was slipping into her voice, and Garrus stroked her hair again, knowing that often calmed her.  
"I thought about this, before you found me," Shepard mumbled, adjusting to get as comfortable as possible. "I thought about how wonderful real sleep and having you next to me would be... It's better than I imagined."

  
As her breathing slowed and she drifted off, Garrus replayed her words over again in his mind. Just like when he talked to Chakwas, there was so much more he wanted to do for Shepard, to make things better. Lying next to her in bed seemed so minimal, compared to the stress she had undergone. But he reminded himself of Chakwas's promise about normalcy, and as he added Shepard's comment, he was starting to believe that even just by being there, he was doing the best he could.


	12. Burned

Much of the first 24 hours passed with Shepard asleep. One of the times she woke, she did manage to eat some of the food offered and seemed to be a little excited about it. Chakwas had come by two other times with additional pills and a cream for the most bothersome injuries.  
Garrus had received reports from Mordin and Sidonis. They were starting to collect names of the salarians and batarians that had gained enough sight and hearing to recognize they were being rescued. Names and locations of family were also being gathered, though no one had recovered enough to reach out to them yet.  
Tullvius, still blind and deaf, was attached to Helfinne at the hip. Performing her duties still came naturally to Helfinne, even with the extra shadow. Between Chakwas and Sidonis's extra help, however, the couple were able to have lots of downtime.

  
The Normandy team was, for the most part, either helping with transport or back on the ship, eagerly awaiting Shepard's return. Garrus had relayed some information but was keeping things fairly discreet. Even Dhovile and some of the Egacress crew had asked about Shepard, and Garrus was letting Sidonis share that she was getting plenty of rest.  
Garrus wished he could enjoy the downtime more. On the Citadel and in Saefos Valley, during their vacations, laying around and doing nothing would've been perfect. Now, he was still too bothered by other things to really enjoy it; Upholder still needed to be dealt with, victims returned to main ports so they could go home, and a part of him still broke every time he saw Shepard's bruised and mangled skin. He was considering finally calling Liara just to have someone to chat with.

  
Shepard stirred on the bed. Garrus had gotten uncomfortable laying down for so long, so instead he was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed to remain within reach. It had been almost 30 hours since they returned to the Egacress. After the third time Shepard shifted, rolling over onto her back, Garrus reached over and gently placed his hand over hers, just in case she was waking up and needed a reminder of where she was.  
Shepard flinched under his touch and pulled her hand away, and Garrus quickly turned to kneel by the bed, concerned she was going to panic. She started to push herself away, but then stopped, blinking. Her brow furrowed, and it looked like she was trying to see.

  
"Shepard?" Garrus muttered, wondering if her senses might be returning. Immediately she gasped and turned her head to face him and he couldn't help smiling. "Can you hear me?"  
"I can tell it's your voice," Shepard said weakly, reaching out and touching his face. A smile began to tease at her lips and just that small gesture returned thrilled Garrus. "I can see a little, too, but not very clearly... I knew it was you, but man is it good to see and hear you, even just a little."  
He couldn't hold himself back and quickly wrapped her up in a hug, probably a little faster and stronger than he should have, purring loudly. If it was too rough, Shepard didn't show it. She just laughed a little and held him too, wiping at one of her eyes.  
"It's good to see you smiling," Garrus replied, nuzzling the top of her head.  
"I heard you say smiling-- gosh, what happened to my voice?" Shepard asked. Garrus looked at her, mandibles twitching. "Oh, right..." Shepard muttered, touching her neck. The pain was well managed but Garrus could still see lots of discoloration. He didn't want to think about how that happened, but he knew that's exactly what was going through Shepard's head right now; her face shifted through various expressions of discomfort.

  
"Are you hungry? Or need some water?" he asked as he sat back on the bed, hoping to divert her focus.  
"Some water would be good," Shepard muttered, sitting up gingerly. "And do we have any more of those cookies?"  
"Yep." Garrus quickly got up and began filling up a cup for her.  
"I can't make out every word you're saying, but... it looks like I'm picking up the key words well enough," Shepard explained, attempting to clear her throat. Garrus handed her the water and two of the small cookies, then sat back down beside her.  
"How are you feeling?" he asked gently.  
"I'm... okay," she said carefully, as if unsure how to describe it. "I definitely don't feel good. But I know I will eventually... and that feels good." She took a drink of water and then a small bite of the cookie as Garrus nuzzled the top of her head again, knowing there was still a lot of recovery ahead of them. Shepard finished her first cookie and then spoke again.

  
"So... whose ship is this?"  
"Aria loaned the ship and a squad," Garrus replied, trying to keep his answers simple.  
"Aria?" Shepard repeated, her eyes widening slightly. He nodded. "Hm. Interesting... I know Chakwas is here. I'm guessing the rest of the team is somewhere nearby on the Normandy?" He nodded again.  
"Except Mordin is here also."  
"Mordin? Helping with the other victims?"  
"Yes."  
"...how many were there?"  
Garrus hesitated and his mandibles twitched.  
"Almost 30."  
Shepard's face fell and she was silent as she finished her second cookie. She took a long drink of water, finishing it, then stood. Garrus stood up to help, but she gestured for him to wait. Her steps were slow and timid, and she dragged her fingers along the counter to give herself extra stability if needed. Garrus realized she must have watched him go to the sink, because she eventually found it and filled up her own cup. She emptied it halfway again.

  
"You needed the ship and the people for the hostages," she commented quietly. Garrus's mandibles twitched again, wondering if she was thinking about the reasons he didn't get there sooner...  
"How did you know where I was?"  
Before he could answer, his omnitool pinged. He gave it a glance but decided to leave it for now.  
"Sidonis, actually. He knew about Upholder and saw him leave Saefos with you," he replied. Shepard looked confused and he realized she hadn't understood. He held out his hand to her and she walked back to the bed, taking his hand as she got close. He repeated what he said.  
"Sidonis...? That's the ally you said I knew but wasn't likely to guess," she said, realization lighting her face. "That must have been... conflicting for you."  
"I would do anything to get you back," Garrus replied firmly. He wasn't sure if she heard him perfectly or if she just understood the tone of his voice, but she smiled a little as she leaned forward and placed her forehead on his.

  
As they sat like that, the door opened and Shepard stood up straight. It had startled Garrus, his mandibles flaring and he was almost standing up when he realized it was Chakwas that was coming in.  
"I was hoping you would be up!" she said cheerfully. "And you turned to look at me, so you must be hearing a little bit." She closed the door behind her and stepped forward, placing both her hands on Shepard's shoulders. "How's your sight?"  
"It's there, but far from perfect," Shepard replied, also smiling. "I'm glad you're here, Chakwas."  
"Glad I wasn't interrupting anything too serious," Chakwas teased, flashing a sly look at Garrus. He just rubbed the back of his neck, mandibles twitching.  
"Why don't you take a seat and you can tell me more about how I can get you feeling better?"

  
Shepard sat on the bed but Chakwas needed to repeat the other part of what she said, and while she did, Garrus's omnitool pinged twice. He hesitated for a moment longer, but decided Shepard was occupied enough for him to take a look.  
Sidonis had tried calling more than once. Garrus stood and walked to the other side of the room and called him back. Sidonis answered immediately.  
"What's going on?"  
"One of the krogan guards just came to me and said that Upholder wants to talk to you," Sidonis replied. "I don't know what he wants, but I thought you'd want the message right away."  
"Yes..." Garrus's mandibles twitched. "Thanks. I'll get down there as soon as I can." He disconnected the call and walked back over to Chakwas and Shepard.

  
"Can you stay here until I come back?" he asked the doctor.  
"Where are you going?" Shepard interjected. Her tone was even but she was frowning. The insecurity on her face made Garrus flinch. She wasn't quite back to the fearless Commander he was used to yet, and perhaps it was too soon to leave her...  
"Upholder wants to talk," he said, wringing his hands. He watched as a hardness returned to Shepard's expression and she looked down into her lap.  
"Go. He needs to be dealt with."  
"I can stay," Chakwas added.  
"I'll be back as soon as I can," he assured them both, touching Shepard gently on the shoulder. He turned and headed out of the room, picking up his Carnifex on the way.  
  
*****  
  
The walk from room B4 to the holding cells was not a very long one, and that was all the time Garrus had to shift from nurturing caregiver to intimidating interrogator who had no problems with killing those he no longer needed. Luckily for him, both of those came rather naturally. By the time he left the elevator, without being conscious of it, he was already nearly growling and his head was lowered dangerously, his expression dark. Upholder already knew about his emotional involvement, so there was no reason to try and play aloof.  
As he stepped down into the holding cell area, a couple of the krogan raised their heads from a meal and looked him over. He immediately realized he probably should have been wearing his armor, considering he looked like little more than an average citizen in street clothes at the moment. However, the visor, the scars, the demeanor, and the Carnifex must have looked serious enough to them, because none of them questioned him when he walked right up to Upholder's cell.  
Alvord was sitting on a small bench in the back. His hands were shackled in front of him, but he looked as casual as a man at the park. His clothes were still in good condition and his expression was almost smug.

  
"You know there's only one thing I want to hear from you, so there will be no second chances if you brought me down here for anything other than that information," Garrus told him, the Carnifex already in his hand.  
"How's Shepa--"  
Garrus fired. A bullet clanged loudly as it ricocheted several times after bouncing off the wall inches from Upholder's head. One of the krogans, who hadn't been paying attention, startled badly, but the other three smirked and chuckled, now watching more intently. Garrus didn't lower the gun.  
"Did you think the conditions for speaking her name had changed?" he asked, feigning surprise.  
"How petty," Upholder chuckled. "If I continued to say it would you empty your clip into the wall?"  
"No," Garrus growled. "The last one would be in your skull." Upholder chuckled again, shaking his head.  
"Quite the hot head, aren't you?"  
"Yes. Now, please just tell me you're in charge so that I can be done with you?"

  
"I am indeed in charge of most of the operations, but... there's one other who works with me, not just for me like the other mercs," Upholder said, leaning back comfortably. Garrus glanced down the line of cells. In the furthest one, closest to the krogan, was the handful of mercs who surrendered during the takeover of the Cruciate facility.  
"Which one?" Garrus asked, gesturing with his gun in that direction.  
"Not any of them," Upholder scoffed.  
"You said the one you report to was at the facility with us," Garrus snapped, gesturing in exasperation.  
"He was," Upholder replied, "It's Lantar Sidonis."

  
It was a punch to the gut. Garrus felt dizzy, like all oxygen and atmosphere had been sucked from the room, yet also felt stone still. Suddenly all critical thinking and awareness of where he was and his surroundings were gone. There was nothing but rage. Only one other time had he felt so disgusted and furious at the same time... and he was about to go confront the one he held responsible for both.  
He regained awareness somewhere on the stairs, but his body still felt like it was moving on it's own, the movements slow and methodical. The med bay opened up before him, muted chatter from victims and medics alike bouncing off his understanding.  
Sidonis was in the back of the room, talking with a batarian victim and Sokon. He hadn't seen him yet. Garrus stopped not far behind him.

  
"Sidonis."  
His voice was guttural, threatening. Just the tone caused Sidonis to hunch his shoulders and his mandibles to flare in distress. He was the picture of submission when he turned and stared down the Carnifex's barrel; wringing his hands, head turned down and away, not daring to meet his eyes. Garrus was vaguely aware of gasps and concerned whispers around him.  
"I... I don't understand," Sidonis eventually said, his voice having more strength than Garrus would've given him credit for.  
"Like hell," Garrus snapped.  
"Garrus, what's going on?" Mordin asked, sounding displeased.  
"He's his partner," he growled in reply.  
"What?!" At that Sidonis stood up straighter and met Garrus's eye for just a moment. "That doesn't make any sense--"  
"Neither did Omega!" Garrus roared and ignored the frightened reactions of the disabled victims. Sidonis's flinch was painful to witness, but Garrus was numb. Mordin stepped up to the two of them, eyes narrowed.

  
"Got to stop. My patients, my responsibility. Stress dangerous. Trust you, but take it somewhere else!" he demanded, gesturing as if to shoo them away. Finally Garrus breathed enough to notice the distress around him. He glanced around, still not dropping his stance, and then spotted one of the small offices in the back of the room. He nodded his head in that direction.  
"Go."  
Sidonis sighed but obliged, resigned to letting this play out. Garrus followed him into the room and shut the door behind them, closing a small curtain to cut them off from view. When he turned back around, Sidonis was sitting in one of the chairs against the back wall, staring at his hands. There was barely any fight in him, and Garrus could tell.

  
"Upholder told you I've been working with him, did he?" Sidonis grumbled.  
"If you had any part in abducting Shepard--"  
"She's the reason I'm still alive!" Sidonis sat up and leaned forward, his hand over his heart as his eyes pleaded his case. "Spirits, Garrus, think!"  
His outburst caused Garrus to point the gun at him again, but he didnt have a retort. Sidonis just sighed and dropped his eyes.  
"You know what, go ahead. If shooting me in the face is what you need to do, go ahead. You have every right to feel the way you do right now. But let me lay out a few things you might realize if you could think clearly right now...  
"First, what happened to our squad happened because I was a pathetic coward, not because I enjoy causing pain..." Garrus tensed at the mention of their squad, and Sidonis pushed past his shame to continue. "Causing pain is the only motive Upholder has. I've been rescuing these people right beside you, ending their suffering. Our motives are not the same!  
"Second, Upholder knows me. He knows my name and he knows who and what I am and he knows I'm on this ship. He's probably smart enough to have figured out my connection to you, too." Sidonis now leaned forward again, looking Garrus straight in the eye.  
"Third, what advantage might he be gaining by diverting you?"

  
"Are you suggesting he'd try to escape?" Garrus snapped. "He can't--"  
Red lights flashed and a shipwide alarm system began buzzing, accompanied by an VI voice.  
"Alert: fire in ducts between deck 3 and 4. Authorized personnel report for containment protocol."  
The turians exchanged a glance, Sidonis appearing relieved but also tired, and Garrus's mandibles flaring in alarm and self-reproach. Nothing was said while Garrus turned and left the room, walking through the med bay and concerned civilians as he got multiple pings on his omnitool.

  
"What's going on down there?!" Dhovile demanded.  
"That doesn't sound good," Joker was saying. "EDI, anything you can do to help?"  
"The Egacress VI is well equipped for ship fires," the AI replied.  
"Who's the idiot that didn't follow biotic protocol?!" Garrus didn't recognize that voice, but it was definitely krogan. Another krogan replied.  
"He wasn't supposed to be biotic!"  
"Wait, who's biotic?" Garrus interjected.  
"Your big fancy prisoner. Just used the bullet you fired to punch a hole in a steam valve and none of us saw him grab the keys and take off! Probably started that fire, too."  
"You mean he got out with a cheap magic trick?!" Dhovile scoffed.  
"Nobody told us to stick a suppressor on his head!"

  
"Nobody knew," Garrus grumbled, mentally kicking himself. It would've been easy to hide that from Shepard, Sidonis, or any other victims. Upholder had refrained from using it during any of their confrontations. Liara would've known... but he hadn't asked about Upholder's abilities, only how to find him. It was a foolish oversight on his part, again, to not think of biotics.  
"He's got to be headed for the hangar, right? No where else to go," one of the krogans was speculating.  
"EDI, can you scan the ship and see if you can locate him?" Garrus asked.  
"He's in the ducts between the holding cells and the hangar. Multiple fires are breaking out behind him."  
"Apparently he has knowledge of ship mechanics also," Dhovile grumbled.  
"We're on top of it, chief. It won't get to anything vital." That voice sounded like Kin.  
"Just get me a line of sight, EDI," Garrus said, sighing with exasperation. He was standing in the hallway, desperate for direction.

  
"There's a maintenance ladder behind the elevator. That should take you to some walkways that overlook the hangar. He'll be emerging on the starboard side, near the bay door," EDI informed him.  
"You know I like my sniper perches," Garrus said appreciatively, opening the ladder shaft.  
"Do you need backup?" It was Sidonis asking. He knew Garrus was without his armor.  
Garrus had a decision to make. Disadvantaged as he was, did he kill on sight? He'd probably only get one shot before Upholder shielded himself, if he wasn't already. He thought of Shepard keeping him from pulling the trigger on Sidonis, but surely Upholder was a different kind of animal...  
"Some biotic support might not be a bad idea," he grunted as he climbed down the ladder.  
"I can make it soon, the fires are almost contained. In the hangar?" It was Kin on the channel again. Garrus gave the affirmative and continued climbing, eventually surfacing onto a dark metal pathway high above the hangar. He didn't have his sniper rifle, but at this range a scoped Carnifex was the next best thing.

  
Movement down in the hangar alerted him instantly, but there wasn't any cover on the catwalks. He ducked back into the corner as best he could while he focused in on his target. Upholder was already at the shuttle, hitting the door of it angrily. It appeared to be completely unresponsive, perhaps a remote shut down from someone else on the Egacress.  
Garrus raised his Carnifex but realized as he looked down the scope that Upholder was already shielding himself with his biotics. Before he had any time to debate taking a shot anyway, another figure stepped into the hangar.  
"Did you think you were going to get very far, all alone on an unknown ship?" Sidonis was approaching him, also unarmored, making no move to be discreet or even overly threatening. He held a pistol almost casually at his side. Upholder faced Sidonis, his biotics glowing brighter around him, but also refrained from going on the offensive.  
"I hoped for more from you, Lantar," Upholder hissed. For the first time he looked discomposed. "You were supposed to go out and make something grand of yourself, having paid the price for your misdeeds. Not waste your time here with these other pitiful souls!"  
"You think you're still the powerful one here? Line up your options here and you'll see there's very few." Sidonis gestured throughout the hangar and Garrus's eyes widened as he realized what just happened. 

  
During their days on Omega, they used code words to communicate with the snipers after the bait had been set. "Look", "sight", "see", "line up"... they had a list, all synonyms that meant it was time to take aim and line up the shot. Sidonis was signaling him to do just that. If he could get Upholder to focus his biotics in an attack, he'd be unshielded for just a moment.  
So, provocation was the name of the game. Garrus steadied his aim, peering down the scope at Upholder's head, getting a nice view of the scar Shepard gave him under the biotics. Upholder was already coming somewhat unglued; it wouldn't take much more.  
"I have always had all the power I need," the human growled.  
"I'm sure that's what you've gotten used to," Sidonis retorted. "And it's been true for a long time. But it's not anymore. Now, I recognize you... like a mirror of me from another time. You're backed into a corner like a frightened, baby animal... desperate for death to end you."  
Upholder's face twitched in fury, but something else happened before he reacted...

  
Garrus wasn't sure what made the human look up. Maybe it was just good, old fashioned adrenaline and instincts. His face turned ever so slightly and their eyes met through the scope. Upholder roared as his biotics burst and Garrus pulled the trigger.  
The wave of energy slammed him into the back wall near the high ceiling and he heard his body crack more than he felt it. He was vaguely aware of two gunshots as he lost consciousness on his way to the floor.  
  
*****  
  
"Easy, don't try to move yet."  
Mordin's voice was the first thing that broke through Garrus's awareness. He could feel gentle ripples of energy around him and he realized he was in stasis, positioned as though he were lying on his back, hovering in the air. He blinked and saw the blue glow and the ceiling of the hangar above him.  
"Hurts to breathe," he wheezed, each breath a cringing effort.  
"Broken ribs," Mordin muttered thoughtfully, scanning him with his omnitool.  
"If that human's biotics were as good as mine he'd have a broken back," Kin commented from Garrus's other side, making the stasis field look effortless.  
"Vertebrae intact. No visible damage to organs," Mordin assured them both.

  
"Upholder?" Garrus asked, his head hurting too badly to form more complete sentences.  
"Dead," the doctor replied simply. "Sidonis seized opportune moment. Clean hits to the abdomen."  
"I need to get back to Shepard."  
"Need to check your head. Then see if ready to be on your feet. Painful?"  
"Yes," Garrus grunted as the omnitool hovered over his face.  
"Will be for a while. But, no lasting damage," Mordin reported. He lowered his omnitool and nodded to Kin. She slowly brought Garrus upright and it made him slightly dizzy. He felt the floor beneath his feet and then the stasis was gone. He groaned as the muscles in his abdomen were now working to hold him up and tugging on the damaged ribs. He wavered a little and Mordin and Kin both steadied him with a hand on his shoulder.

  
"Here. For pain and healing," Mordin said, pulling out a large tablet from his pocket and offering it to Garrus. He took it and swallowed it whole hastily.  
He then turned to face the rest of the hangar. Two of the security team were lifting Upholder's body unceremoniously into a bag and Sokon was standing nearby with cleaning supplies. A little ways off, Sidonis was standing and watching, his expression unreadable.  
Garrus sent Chakwas a quick message.  
"Tell Shepard I'm on my way." He began to walk towards Sidonis, but Kin caught him first.

  
"Hey, I've been thinking about Shepard..." she began, frowning. "I've known who she was since she became a Spectre and I respect her a lot. I found out that Jenil knows something about human hair and might be able to help Shepard feel a little more... normal." She shrugged, looking unsure about her offering. "Just wanted to pass that on to you guys."  
"Oh!" Garrus thought of Shepard's uneven lengths that Kin must have noticed when they rescued her. He'd been doing his best not to think about it and didn't know how she would react. He nodded to Kin.  
"Thank you, I'll let her know and then get back to you," he said appreciatively. Kin smiled and dismissed herself with a nod.

  
Garrus made his way over to Sidonis, his steps small and stiff. He held one hand over his chest as if it would somehow help. Sidonis glanced at him, but then lowered his eyes again.  
"That didn't go exactly as I'd hoped," Sidonis muttered, gesturing at Garrus's hunched stance.  
"Someone had to take the hit," Garrus grunted. "I'm okay that it was me." Silence fell over them for a few moments and then Garrus took in a deep breath, feeling compelled to speak.  
"Look, you were right, I wasn't thinking and I--"

  
"Don't, Garrus. Save it," Sidonis cut him off quickly. Garrus exhaled all his unsaid words in a rush as Sidonis continued. "I know all this has been... complicated. I also know that there's not much left to learn here other than to just keep pressing forward as best we all can. I'm sure there's plenty of better times ahead if we're not too blind to see them."  
"There's that idealism again," Garrus replied with a small chuckle.  
"Have another sancso with me sometime and I'll teach you more about being an idealist," Sidonis said with a smirk. "Maybe Shepard could join us too."  
"Sounds like a plan," Garrus said with a nod. Then, after another quiet moment, "I'd better get back to her."  
"Of course. Take it easy, yourself."  
They gave each other a nod and Garrus turned to gingerly make his way back to the elevator and back to Shepard.


	13. Aftermath

The blanket wasn't as soft as Shepard wished it was. She missed her cabin, even though she knew she wasn't ready to be back aboard the Normandy. If she were there, she'd naturally try to fall into her Commander role too soon and probably accidentally break herself.  
She curled up tight on the bed. Chakwas was sitting on the other bed, reading something on her omnitool. They'd spent some time chatting and after the scare of the fire alarm, Chakwas had recommended more rest.

  
But she couldn't sleep. She knew something was happening and even though her vision and hearing were better, she still felt like she was in the dark and she didn't like it. Even on the Egacress, a ship mostly unknown to her, she had to fight down the version of her used to being in charge.  
Most of her body was a dull ache. It was getting to be more frustrating than painful, but she knew she had to deal with it for quite a while longer.  
Shepard was not one to talk about her pain. As a soldier, there was always the assumption that it could be worse and more pain was likely in store until the day you eventually retired... and she was far from that day.

  
"Tell Shepard I'm on my way."  
Shepard rolled over to look at Chakwas, who was watching her with a small smile, eyebrows raised.  
"I heard it," she told her, smiling a little herself. "Must you always look so sly and tease us? We're all adults here," she added, feigning exasperation over a smirk.  
"I'm just glad you have each other," Chakwas said with a small laugh. "Really. I've observed a lot of shipboard relationships and you two are my favorite."  
"You're welcome?" Shepard laughed with a raised eyebrow.  
"Indeed," Chakwas simply agreed with a grin. "Your hearing must be healing quickly." She pulled up an image of various symbols on her omnitool and showed it to Shepard without moving closer. "Can you see these?"

  
"I definitely recognize the Alliance symbol," Shepard replied, squinting. "I can't make out the second one... Then there's a no docking sign and... is that the logo for Isholl Eternity?"  
"The lingerie store?" Chakwas burst into laughter. "No, but now I know where to go gift shopping for you... or rather, Garrus."  
"Don't you dare," Shepard growled, her face turning bright red as Chakwas snickered. "Although I did recently learn that even turians can learn to appreciate a well-dressed human female," she added, thinking of the red dress she wore on Saefos. It seemed like ages ago; what had happened to it?

  
"Of course they can, dear. I've turned a few turian heads myself before," Chakwas informed her, grinning.  
"You fox!" Shepard exclaimed, glad to divert the attention away from herself. "I'm going to have to hear some of those stories."  
"Well, you know that I never had a relationship evolve into something permanent, but that's given me plenty of opportunity to practice catch-and-release, so to speak," Chakwas began, and Shepard rested her head on her arms, fully focused and grinning. "I was always up front with my intentions, not cruel or like some kind of con woman. Sometimes that meant simply a nice conversation at a bar, or a monthlong fling. I was always curious to see who I would meet. I guess it was really just an in-depth study of people... and myself."  
"You must have lots of interesting stories then!" Shepard teased.  
"Yes, but most I need to be at least a little bit drunk to divulge. And I'm still on the job," Chakwas reminded her with a wink. Garrus's voice from the entryway replied.

  
"Clock out and have a drink, doctor."  
Shepard couldn't help herself; she darted off the bed and to him, but found herself becoming dizzy as she approached from moving so quickly. Garrus reached out to steady her but she still stumbled into him, causing him to groan and cringe. Shepard gasped and recoiled.  
"Are you hurt?" she asked, looking him up and down.  
"Broken ribs, but, not much to do about that," he grunted, smiling through the pain. "I've already had some pain meds."  
"We'll need to monitor the alignment as they heal," Chakwas mumbled, standing up off the bed.

  
"What happened?" Shepard asked, looking as though she were asking for a sitrep.  
"Well, it's all my fault really," Garrus sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away. "We didn't know Upholder was biotic and... due to some other failures of mine... he temporarily escaped. He didn't get far, of course, and while I distracted his biotics, Sidonis got through his shields. He's dead and will soon be space debris." Shepard looked away too, her expression darkening.  
"I felt biotics but I didn't know it was his," she muttered.  
"I should've done more to find out, Shepard. Or at least assumed he was," Garrus said firmly, worried she was taking some of the blame upon herself.  
"No, I..." Shepard had just been realizing that it was just Upholder and whatever other turian was with him that had been with her, but that wasn't what she wanted to be thinking about. She shook her head. "Never mind, it's nothing."

  
"Don't worry, Garrus, we can just put you on medical leave until Shepard is back to full strength, and then you won't have to be working without each other anymore," Chakwas said in an effort to lighten the mood, at Garrus's expense. He didn't seem to mind and even managed a chuckle as he took Shepard's hand and pulled her back to him gently.  
"Won't that be nice," Shepard replied, smiling as Garrus purred lightly when she moved close. "I think I'm looking forward to the next normal mission."  
"I'd better return to the med bay. They're probably beginning rehabilitation for the asari and humans now," Chakwas said, moving to dismiss herself. "I left more supplies and snacks in the cupboard."  
Garrus and Shepard both thanked her as she went.

  
"I think I might make myself another one of those drinks. Do you want me to find a pack of dextro food for you?" Shepard asked.  
"Are you sure you don't want me to do it?" Garrus asked, and Shepard laughed in reply.  
"How about instead of going back and forth trying to help each other, we just get our own food and try not to further injure ourselves?" she asked with a smirk. Garrus laughed too, but wasn't letting her go yet.  
"Hmm, I've got an even better idea," he interjected. "How about you prepare mine and I prepare yours? And try not to further injure ourselves, of course."  
"Your domestic side is showing," Shepard teased, patting his chest lightly before turning to walk towards the cupboards.  
"Well I don't know about you but I'm ready for some of that," he replied, following.

  
"Tell me about how the other victims are doing," Shepard prompted as they gathered the space food.  
Garrus helped her identify the packets her vision couldn't distinguish and he filled her in on the progress made. He hadn't heard many specifics about the individuals but Mordin seemed very pleased with how things were going.  
There wasn't a table in their room so they sat on the floor across from each other, each leaning on separate beds, as they talked. Shepard asked about Sidonis and so Garrus went into more detail about how that happened, from literally running into him on Saefos to finding out he had more intel on Upholder than Liara, at which Shepard gave a snicker.

  
"I bet coming back has been very cathartic for him," Shepard mused.  
"It has. He seems... very different. I think he'd like to see you again before we all part ways, if you feel up to it," Garrus replied.  
"I'll definitely be stir crazy if I don't leave this room soon," she agreed. "But... not yet." She fell silent for a moment and watched the last of her drink swirl as she jostled it lightly. "You took prisoners. There are people who worked for Upholder on this ship?"  
"Yes," Garrus replied, mandibles twitching. "They're in Dhovile's custody now and Aria may choose to employ them... Dhovile has agreed to keep them all in holding cells until we and the other victims disembark, if she doesn't decide to just kill them first."

  
"There was a turian that touched me." Shepard blurted it out more bluntly than she had meant to, but there was no taking it back. She was still looking down at her drink but she could sense the way Garrus tensed, his shoulders rising predatorially. Her heart started to beat faster.  
"...do you mean--"  
"Yes." She listened as Garrus tried to take deep breaths.  
"You were underground, beneath Upholder's office," he said carefully. "We found the key card on the body of a turian who was part of his personal guard. It's likely the mercenaries in the holding cell right now didn't even know you were there."

  
"Are you telling me that because you think it will help me feel better?" Shepard grumbled, and surprised herself with the amount of bitterness in her voice.  
"Spirits, Shepard, if it would make you feel better I'll go and execute every one of those prisoners right now," Garrus sighed, his head hanging. "I almost executed Sidonis."  
"What?" She looked at him, confused.  
"Upholder baited me and used me as his distraction," Garrus admitted, still not looking up. "He told me Sidonis was actually working with him. He didn't even have to make up a story, he just said his name and I snapped. Almost shot him right in the middle of the med bay."  
"But he's the reason you got me out."

  
"I know, but only because he talked me down long enough to think and then the fire alarm was going off." Garrus rubbed the back of his neck, mandibles twitching. "All I'm saying is I can't even think straight when I think about what was done to you and it's making me do a poor job of helping, and... I'm sorry. My own weaknesses have gotten in the way, but I don't want this to be about that. I want to be here for you, in the best way I can. If you think of anything I can do, or say... tell me, and I'll do it."  
Shepard looked up now and saw the pleading in his eyes. Her heart skipped a beat at the desperation there. She placed her drink on the bedside table and carefully moved Garrus's food out of the way too. She knelt in front of him, his legs on either side of her.

  
"I almost fell for his bait too, the many times he tried to trick me," she told him, holding his gaze. "I think being each other's weakness and vulnerability is the price for caring about each other, and sometimes we have no choice but to pay it. The rest of the time, we get to enjoy being each other's strength."  
Garrus let out a heavy breath, soaking in her words. After a moment he sat a little straighter, trying not to cringe as his ribs protested.  
"Shepard," he began earnestly, "we will both be strong again soon. I promise." He brought his forehead to hers and she smiled.  
"I know, Garrus. I know."  
  
*****  
  
For the next few hours it was almost as if the tables had turned. Garrus spent most of the time laying down and Shepard was antsy. She didn't exactly want to leave the room yet, but she'd had enough resting and her energy was returning without much use for it yet.  
She was still experiencing pain just about everywhere, but it had gone down enough for her to be fairly efficient at not thinking about it. Her hearing was fairly normal now, though her ears had been ringing briefly now and then. Her vision for close distances was well enough, but she didn't want to think about trying to snipe anything anytime soon.

  
Garrus eventually fell asleep, so Shepard was left to entertain herself. She'd borrowed his omnitool and made a call to Mordin (her own omnitool was on the Normandy). He gave her some updates on how the rest of the captives were progressing and it felt good for her to think about something other than her own experiences for a while.  
"Tullvius, turian, fastest recovery. His mate, Helfinne, part of Aria's medic team. He was the first released, Helfinne's melding ability facilitated communication," Mordin told her.  
"How nice of Aria to let that happen," Shepard commented, looking through some of the drawers in her room out of boredom.  
"Yes. Many captives, many reunions. Nice for one to happen as soon as possible. Nice for me to witness," Mordin agreed. "Your own recovery seems to be speedy as well."  
"I guess?" she shrugged, even though it was only an audio call. "I don't really have much to compare it to."

  
"From what I've observed, those who have loved ones waiting are doing better than those who do not."  
"Some of them don't have any family?" Shepard asked, frowning.  
"Three individuals. Mercenaries, going from job to job, no deep connections. They've practically isolated themselves from others and their wounds are healing the slowest. Everyone else has some form of connection; cousins, mates, parents, children... deeper connections, faster healing," Mordin explained.  
"The brain sure is a powerful thing," she said, reaching into a cupboard and finding a deck of cards.  
"Indeed, Shepard." Mordin's tone seemed as if he were making an important point, but Shepard was too occupied with pulling out the cards and placing them on the counter to give it much thought.

  
"Do any of the other captives know that I was there? I thought about visiting with some of them, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea..." she said.  
"Up to you. Currently unaware. Seen Garrus, Chakwas, and I but none seem to have made connection between us and the Normandy. Been discreet. But, keep in mind, none of them are here because they are purely innocent. Not sure if you'd be seen as an ally," Mordin pointed out.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Shepard asked defensively, beginning to create a house of cards.  
"Upholder targets those who have killed. Tullvius' been here for 43 days, works for Aria."  
"I was there, Mordin," Shepard grunted. "Isn't it possible some of them were working with good intentions?"  
"Of course. Some STG agents, retired Alliance officers, asari commandoes serving Thessia. But, don't know for everyone. Haven't asked. Not going to," he said firmly.  
"I guess you're right," she conceded. She'd created a line of pyramids and was laying flat cards on top now. "It's not really the time to be questioning everyone about alliances. I'll think about it some more."

  
"If nothing else, I'd enjoy visiting with you," Mordin assured her.  
"Thanks, Mordin," Shepard said with a smile. "I'll probably be out and about soon."  
"No rush. Will be here when you need me."  
They said goodbye and Shepard ended the call, placing the omnitool carefully on the counter a safe distance from her structure. She had completed another layer by the time Garrus suddenly stirred and sat up, grunting as his ribs ached.  
"No sudden movements," she whispered urgently, delicately placing another card. She saw him stiffen in her peripheral and slowly stepped back then looked at him. He seemed flustered and tense.

  
"You okay?" she asked, frowning.  
"I just... I think I was dreaming," he grumbled, staring at the floor.  
"About what?" She turned and started to walk towards him.  
"You said there was a turian who touched you...?"  
Shepard stopped, within reach, but she wasn't reaching. Her reply was flat and Garrus was clenching his fists.  
"Yes."  
"Did he... did they--"

  
"Is that what you were dreaming about?" Shepard interrupted.  
"I don't really remember, I just woke up thinking about it," he said, exhaling heavily. He glanced over to her but she crossed her arms and looked away. He didn't even know how to process the idea of someone else forcing themselves on her, but now that it was in his head, he was having a hard time getting past it. "I'm not trying to make you talk about it, I just..."  
"Can't think straight?" she suggested, but her tone was sharp.  
"Well... yes," he replied, flinching. His shoulders slumped. "If that happened and you need to talk about it, I want you to be able to, but I'd be lying if I said I had any idea how to wrap my head around it."  
"You don't have to," Shepard shrugged. "There's always Chakwas."  
"Does that mean--"

  
"I'm going to go shower."  
She turned and began to walk away and Garrus stood up to face her.  
"Shepard, I'm just trying to make sense of--"  
"You can keep trying, then. Maybe there's not any sense to be found." She picked up the small bottle of medical soap from Chakwas and swept her hand over her card Tower, sending them scattering over the counter and floor. She opened a wardrobe near the front of the room in search of a towel.  
"I'm sorry," Garrus said lamely, clearly struggling to know what to do.

  
Shepard was frozen. The inside of the wardrobe had a small light and a large mirror, and Shepard was suddenly facing her reflection without any warning.  
She still had a bit of a black eye and her throat was purple and yellow like a wide collar. If she looked closely, she could see the shapes of fingers. It was much less swollen than it had been, but enough that she wondered how she hadn't been aware of it before. The cut on the side of her face was a ruddy brown. Her hair was jagged and short in an awkward bob that made her look insane.  
Without saying a word she suddenly removed her shirt and pants, then stared at herself again. The burns from the brand and mottled bruising on her stomach created a completely foreign landscape. The acid burns over the cut on her leg were raw and bright red and pink.  
Garrus finally realized what must be happening and his eyes widened as he went to her side.

  
"Shepard, I didn't know there was a--"  
"It's okay Garrus. It had to happen sometime." Her tone was soft, but heavy... tired. She poked at the bruises on her stomach then turned part of the way to see her back. They were both silent as she faced herself again and slowly reached up to grip her hair. She blinked, feeling her eyes water.  
"I'm told one of the asari medics knows a thing or two about human hair," Garrus began softly. "If you wanted to see what she could do before you see anybody, that's an option..."

  
"How have you even been able to look at me?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her again.  
"I don't recall you giving me any sideways glances when I got these," he replied, gesturing at his own scars.  
"You didn't see me right after the rocket hit you and you were lying in a pool of your own blood," Shepard pointed out, looking away.  
"And you didn't see Sidonis have to keep me on my feet after I opened the door to your cell," he countered. Shepard looked at him and tried to smile over the hurt. Garrus reached past her and closed the door to the wardrobe.  
"I left the towel in the bathroom," he mumbled, turning and walking back towards the bed to give her some privacy. Shepard took a deep, shaky breath and spoke as she walked into the shower.  
"Invite the medic up. I'm about ready for a change of scenery."  
  
*****  
  
"...and then Kin got there and overpowered her while Mordin gave her a sedative. It turns out her name is Noarany and she's really nice now, she just didn't know we were saving her. She apologized to Tommy and of course there's no hard feelings. Then a while after that, Helfinne found Tullvius. None of us knew anything about him until suddenly he was freed and going everywhere she did. He's quiet but they seem really happy to be back together. It's really sweet, just like you and Garrus, although obviously I haven't been watching you. Please let me know if I'm talking too much."  
Shepard smiled a little as she listened to Jenil ramble on. The asari had shown up shortly after her shower and promptly gotten to work, shooing Garrus out to "take a walk or something", insisting the final result be a surprise and Shepard have the opportunity for some "girl time".  
It was pretty obvious Jenil found the other medics not quite conversational enough for her preferences. She'd quickly gotten Shepard up to speed on the rest of the crew as she worked on the Commander's hair. They were sitting in the shower to contain the hair being cut, Jenil kneeling behind Shepard who had a towel over her shoulders. 

  
"It's refreshing to hear someone else's perspective," Shepard told her. "Garrus and I haven't really talked about how the whole mission went down... though I really do want to hear about it. I guess there's just been other things on our minds..."  
"You've been through a lot, and so has he. I didn't really get to see him on the mission, but Kin did. She was there when they got you out. She said she almost cried when you realized Garrus was there, which means she really did cry and she's just trying to sound tough," Jenil continued. Shepard fidgeted a little. It was strange to imagine all those things that happened around her outside of her awareness.

  
"I'm sorry, should I not be talking about that?" Jenil asked, frowning.  
"You're not bothering me, I'm just... not used to this kind of debrief," Shepard explained as Jenil's fancy scissors got back to work. "Usually I'm the one talking about how the mission went. This time everyone is telling me about it. And, my relationship is suddenly in the spotlight..."  
"Well, Aria called this Garrus's "white knight" mission, and he's also known for chivalrous acts as Archangel."  
"Is he?" Shepard raised a brow. "I haven't heard about that."  
"Oh yeah. He took out plenty of generic thugs, but he mainly only targeted Aria's men if they had problems with females-- or rather, were problems for females," Jenil explained.  
"I admit he seems a rare breed," Shepard said with a bit of a smirk.

  
"Certainly for Omega!" Jenil confirmed, switching to a different tool now. "I think Aria likes him for that reason though."  
"I guess maybe we should have a drink with her after all this is through."  
"I'm not really sure Aria celebrates like that..." Jenil replied, furrowing her brow.  
"Hah, fair point." Something suddenly occurred to her. "How did Garrus get Aria to offer all these resources?"  
"I don't know," Jenil shrugged. "I haven't heard about any of that from either of them. Aria did get a few men back but I'm sure there was some other part of the deal."  
"Hmm. That might be something I should know about," Shepard mumbled. She wished she could watch the progress on her hair.  
"Maybe. Whatever it is, I can't imagine Garrus would jeopardize you in any way if he could help it."  
"True."

  
"You could always have a drink with me, though! And I'm sure Kin and a few of the others would love to chat with you," Jenil suggested.  
"I'm not sure Chakwas will clear me for drinking..." Shepard said, shifting again. She wasn't sure how she felt about visiting with groups of people yet.  
"You wouldn't have to. We're a pretty relaxed bunch," Jenil said gently. "If you're needing some social warm up before you go back to the Normandy, we'd be happy to sit around and share war stories. You don't even have to talk, Sayrloc and Milolea do enough talking for everybody!"  
"A chatty krogan?" Shepard asked, glad she remembered those names at least.  
"I know, weird, isn't it?" Jenil giggled.

  
"Well, I'll think about it. It probably would be a good idea to get used to it before my squad is all over me," she replied.  
"You know, in all the stories we hear about you, they don't often talk about how much all the people around you care about you. I'm really glad to know you're the real deal and very loved." Shepard considered that as Jenil put down her tools and used her fingers to adjust her hair. "You're done! I know you never asked for short hair, but hopefully this helps."  
Shepard stood and went back to the wardrobe as Jenil took a moment to clean up. She opened the door, looked at the mirror, and couldn't help grinning. She had a layered bob cut that hung even with her jaw. Nothing fancy, but a great shape for her.

  
"Does that grin mean you like it?" Jenil asked as she appeared behind her, her face beaming.  
"I do. It reminds me of when I cut my hair short as a teenager," Shepard explained. "I still plan to grow it back out, but this looks great for the meantime. Thank you."  
"You're welcome! Can I give you a hug?!" she asked. Shepard laughed and let her.  
"Let's find out where your white knight is," Jenil then said, bringing up her omnitool, but Shepard reached out to stop her.  
"Actually, do you want to show me around the ship and we'll see if we can find him?" she asked. Jenil called with excitement.  
"Yes!"  
"Let me just change into some clean clothes."

  
Jenil's enthusiasm was very contagious. Shepard smiled as she went to the small bag Chakwas had brought on her last visit and took a look inside. In addition to another casual t-shirt and sweatpants was a slightly more official space crew outfit. After a pause, Shepard decided she was feeling bold enough to look official and chose that one.  
Once dressed, she looked at herself in the mirror again. She felt a little more like herself and yet different at the same time. It was a new version of her. Jenil opened the door to the room, thrilled to be a part of this.  
"Let's go surprise your white knight!"


	14. Reacclimate

Shepard and Jenil didn't have to go far too find people. They could hear voices as soon as they entered the hall. Shepard inhaled deeply and squared her shoulders, bracing herself. She had no idea how this crew would react to her though she wasn't expecting much. Still, she felt a need to present herself at least a little bit formally, perhaps to compensate for her visible wounds.  
"Well how nice of them," a gruff female voice was saying.  
"How many are there?" a turian female voice was asking.  
"Not enough for them to put up a fight apparently," an asari answered.

  
At the head of the room was a female batarian that Shepard determined must be Dhovile. She was pacing a small circle between the captain's area and the common room, busy on comms while she kept her crew in the loop. A male batarian was leaning against the wall near her, and the asari and turian Shepard had heard were lounging together on a sofa.  
She saw them glance in her direction as Jenil went to join them but before she could respond, she spotted Garrus also in the room. He was sitting with his back to her and was discussing something with Sidonis quietly over a small table.  
Sidonis caught her eye and Shepard felt her breath catch for a moment. The scar over his eye caught her off guard and her thoughts couldn't help but be turned to what they'd both endured.  
Sidonis's expression seemed to soften as though he knew what was going through her mind. He'd experienced the same thing as he worked with the other captives, and knew that Shepard wasn't used to it yet. Shepard noticed his sympathetic expression and managed a half-hearted smile.

  
"...what?"  
Finally Garrus realized Sidonis was no longer paying attention to him. He rotated in his seat and his mandibles flared in surprise.  
"Shepard!" he exclaimed, immediately standing and closing the gap between them. Shepard couldn't help chuckling at his flustered urgency. He stood close and gently grasped her shoulders as he examined her hair.  
"It's not like you haven't seen me in a long time," she teased. She was pretty sure she heard Jenil giggle and tried not to feel self-conscious about having an audience.  
"Technically, I've never seen you like this," Garrus corrected. His subharmonics were rumbling but it almost seemed like both a purr and a growl. He cleared his throat, making a conscious effort to silence them.  
"It's okay if you still prefer it long, I do too," Shepard assured him, running a hand through her hair. "But this is definitely an improvement in the meantime, right?"  
"It looks great," he replied, and he meant it.  
"You're welcome!" Jenil chirped from her seat on the couch, grinning. Kin was smiling and gave her a friendly shove. Garrus turned to stand next to Shepard but Dhovile spoke before anyone else could.

  
"Nice! Zipal, figure out if you can fly it enough to park it in the hangar. And I want full security on that crew until we're ready to drop them. You know I don't take chances."  
Dhovile flashed a quick grin at Shepard in acknowledgment then went back to pacing.  
"More mercenaries being rounded up?" Shepard asked, her hands clenching into fists. Garrus placed a hand on her back and she could tell he was feeling overly protective.  
"Upholder's ship was still in orbit," Dhern informed her from his position near Dhovile. "But they knew better than to give us trouble."  
"They're just mercenaries without a paycheck now," Sidonis added, standing but keeping some distance.  
"They'll get locked up for a bit here and then we'll either turn them over to Aria or dump them at a port," Kin said.  
"I see. Does Aria always recruit like this?" Shepard asked.  
"Do you really want to know?" Dhern asked with a shrug.  
"Eh, probably not," Shepard conceded, crossing her arms in front of her.

  
"Great. Let me know when they're secured. Commander Shepard!" Dhovile turned off her comms then turned and approached, looking excited. "Good to see you up and about."  
"You must be Dhovile Cranradah," Shepard said, her tone suddenly becoming much more formal. Her arms returned to her sides and she squared her shoulders. "I guess not everyone in space has gotten the memo that I can't be kept down for long, cuz they keep trying."  
"You don't have to give those charming, but tame journalist answers here, Shepard," Dhovile said, calling her out. Garrus tensed a little. "None of us may be your usual allies but as far as I know, nobody here has got a problem with you. You've got nothing to prove here."

  
"It's hard to know how anyone will feel about me these days," Shepard explained with a nod, sounding apologetic but also careful.  
"We get that," Kin said, standing up to join them. "We also work for Aria who makes her fair share of controversial decisions. She knew better than to send one of her mindless, violent squads on this mission, though. We're a bit better than that." Kin grinned and winked.  
"I think we can all agree that regardless of whether one feels Aria does good things or bad things, she does powerful things," Dhovile explained, placing her hands on her hips. "She can do things her way and you can do your powerful things your way. You can follow Aria's example and care a little less about what people think of you."  
"Aria can do that because she'll just shoot anyone who disagrees too loudly and they know it. It's a bit more complicated for me," Shepard pointed out. She was more relaxed and smiling until it suddenly left her again. "I don't even have a gun on me," she realized out loud.  
"I do," Garrus confirmed gruffly, standing a little taller as his mandibles twitched.  
"Something tells me that's all the security you need right now," Sidonis commented with a smile.

  
"The point is, Shepard," Dhovile began with a friendly smirk, "you're alright by us. And we know not to take you too seriously. Sound fair enough?" She raised a fist and held it out in front of her.  
"Fair enough," Shepard repeated back, smiling as she also made a fist and bumped her knuckles against Dhovile's.  
"Excellent," Dhovile approved with a grin. "Now, so you're aware, we'll be feasting on some real food a little later today and you guys can join us if you like."  
At that both Kin and Jenil gasped, the latter jumping up from the sofa and leaning into the conversation.  
"Does that mean Aria treated us again?" she asked, her eyes wide.  
"Indeed she did," Dhovile grinned. Jenil squealed with excitement then rushed over to Dhern, still standing quietly in the corner.  
"What did she get us?!"

  
"I've never seen any kind of space food illicit that response," Sidonis said, wandering a little closer.  
"That's because it's not space food," Kin explained, also looking excited. "This is mainly a civilian transport ship. It's got a full kitchen. Every now and then Aria sends us with some great provisions as a reward. I'm guessing she wanted to make sure all the victims had a good meal to make it back up to full strength."  
"Well isn't that special," Garrus murmured, unsure exactly how to feel about the special treatment from Aria.  
"Who cooks?" Shepard asked curiously.  
"Sometimes we have extra kitchen staff, but believe it or not, Dhern and Voso are quite the chefs," Dhovile said.  
"Letting them find that out was the biggest mistake of my life," Dhern grumbled, escaping questions from Jenil by walking towards the elevator. "I'm gonna go take stock so we can start as soon as Voso gets back."

  
"He likes it more than he says," Dhovile said quietly to Shepard with a smirk.  
"A lot more, since he doesn't say much at all," Kin added.  
"Do you think a group meal is something you'd be up for, Shepard? I'm sure I can work out room service if not," Garrus said, concern evident in his tone.  
"I think I can manage, especially if you're going to keep hovering as close as you are now," she replied with a teasing smile. Garrus just blinked.  
"Of course."  
"Then we'll be sure to let you know when the meal is set. In the meantime, we'll give you some space to visit with your doctor friends. Copy that, Kin and Jenil?" Dhovile gave them a pointed look.  
"Copy that!" the two asari replied at once. As thrilled as they were to be spending time with Shepard, they knew not to overwhelm with her. With smiles and waves they also headed for the elevator to go to a different common area. Dhovile simply gave Shepard and Garrus a nod, then turned to return to the command center.

  
Now that it was less crowded, Sidonis took the opportunity to move closer, officially greeting Shepard by offering his hand, which she shook, smiling.  
"Good to see you, Sidonis," she said.  
"I'm glad to see you doing better," he said warmly. "And please, no comments about how this makes us even. Keeping score doesn't serve anyone." Garrus's mandibles twitched but Sidonis didn't notice.  
"I hear you're helping out in the med bay," Shepard said. "How's everyone holding up?"  
"About what you'd expect," Sidonis replied, looking away for a moment and wringing his hands. "The nightmares have been most difficult. Some have accepted sedatives but many haven't and unfortunately it's like a chain reaction trigger. I think they'll be much better off when they can be on their own."  
"That's going to happen soon, isn't it? I mean, all the business has been handled?" Shepard asked.  
"I believe they're just wanting to give you a chance to return to the Normandy first," Garrus explained gently.  
"They're waiting on me?" Shepard's eyes widened.  
"They just felt maybe the Normandy rolling into Illium at the same time as the Egacress would draw more attention than we'd like," he explained.  
"And some of the patients could use more watch time," Sidonis offered. Shepard folded her arms in front of her and looked down.

  
"I think I'd like to head back to the Normandy after the meal."  
"There's no need to feel rushed," Garrus assured her.  
"I know," she insisted. "But I don't want to be gone from the crew for too long. And... I miss my ship."  
Garrus paused long enough for the silence to stretch out, appearing concerned but unable to come up with any protest. Eventually he quietly conceded.  
"Why don't you two head down to the med bay to visit Mordin? He's been eager to see you," Sidonis suggested, changing the subject.  
"Are you not coming?" Shepard asked.  
"Nah, it's my turn for some rest. I'll maybe catch you when we eat though?"  
"Sounds good."  
Sidonis dismissed himself with a nod and as Shepard turned to Garrus, he offered his arm as if they were headed to a formal event.  
"Shall we?" he asked, his voice exceptionally low and soft. Shepard smiled and nodded as she tucked her arm in his and they walked to the elevator.  
  
*****  
  
Shepard and Garrus met discreetly with Mordin and Chakwas in the med bay. They didn't really try to hide, but weren't interested in making a scene either. Shepard was fairly sure many of the patients were giving her curious, sideways glances, but none of them were suspicious or motivated enough to do something about it, so she tried to ignore them.  
But she couldn't ignore the people. As the others discussed the alignment and healing of Garrus's ribs, her eyes wandered over the unfamiliar faces. Each of them had their own patterns of wounds, and Shepard recognized nearly every method of torture, becoming hyper aware of her own injuries as though she were again looking at her reflection.

  
She felt her heartbeat start to quicken and tried to take a deep breath, but it was shaky. Her eyes jumped from scar to scar, body to body. The med bay had nearly enough beds for all of them, but some were empty even though some individuals were sitting on the floor. She recognized the huddled postures, trying to hide from themselves, and the twitches in their limbs as they struggled to escape their paranoia. She realized there were no other female humans there and wondered what that meant.  
Eventually her eyes landed on a small sofa in the back of the room, occupied by an asari and a turian. They were huddled close together but motivated by intimacy rather than fear. She knew they must be Helfinne and Tullvius.

  
Shepard almost felt as though she were seeing a moment not meant for her eyes, but selfishly wished she could hear their whispers. Tullvius said something that caused Helfinne to laugh and Shepard saw the happy satisfaction on Tullvius's face; she'd caught it on Garrus before. Helfinne replied back with another comment that caused them both to laugh.  
With a calming exhale, Shepard slightly shifted her weight and leaned backwards, not having to go far before she felt Garrus's chest against her back. His arm rested around her shoulders and just like that, Shepard was back in the present.

  
"...know their own bodies, so get careless, study less, less proficient. Study other species more closely and with more caution, therefore, better at treating other species," Mordin was saying.  
"You didn't even know how many livers humans had and had to ask Joker, of all people," Chakwas teased.  
Shepard held back her snicker with a grin and she and Garrus exchanged amused glances.  
"Humans," Mordin scoffed in his defense. "Admittedly, not my best subject. So strange. Don't get me started on libido."  
"I think salarians are the odd ones out, there," Garrus pointed out, unable to hold back.  
"Oh, it's been a while since I've had a good discussion about sexuality in various species," Chakwas said with a grin.  
"Is that where this is going? Because I think I may need a drink for that," Shepard said, rolling her eyes a little and smirking.  
"Me too," Chakwas and Garrus agreed at the same time.  
"Salarians also the only species that don't need booze to talk about it. So strange," Mordin repeated with a sigh and the rest of them laughed.

  
A few hours later, the four of them joined the Egacress crew as they gathered for the meal. The Egacress medics (and Tullvius) were gathering meals for the patients, feeling it a better idea to keep them confined to the med bay. Dhern, stoic as ever, was overseeing the buffet with Voso, who appeared to be taking quite a bit of pride in his work. There was some auxiliary staff taking their food elsewhere, though a few small groups were scattered throughout the plain, but large, cafeteria.  
Shepard got herself a plate and looked over the food. Most of it was familiar and looked delicious. She gave herself a few small servings, frowning as she realized she still didn't seem to have much appetite.  
Before she moved on, Garrus put more food onto her plate, doubling her portions. She narrowed her eyes at him but he didn't flinch, giving her a pointed look. She didn't protest further.  
"Hey! You guys come over here," Kin called as they reached the end of the line. Shepard found her near a hallway on the other side of the room and walked over.  
"You guys weren't kidding about real food," Shepard commented as Kin led them down the hall.  
"Right?! We're all really glad you decided to join us," Kin replied cheerfully.

  
The hallway opened up into another lounge area. The furniture was nice and there was a bar at the back counter lit with florescent blue. Shepard guessed this must be a dining area for important officials. It was somewhat crowded with the full battle squad inside, but they didn't seem to mind being a little cozy. Kin went to sit on a long couch near the center of the room where Dhovile, Calivia, Ikhatia, and Sidonis were gathered. Dhovile, with a mouth full of food, gestured to the Normandy group as they entered, then to some empty seats nearby.  
"Make yourself at home," she encouraged. Shepard and Garrus settled in a slightly too-small-for-two sofa as Mordin and Chakwas headed for the bar.  
"That's very easy to do with such a fine selection of dextro food," Garrus said appreciatively, carefully tucking his elbows in to avoid bumping Shepard with them.  
"Voso's sauteed rubid is my favorite," Calivia commented.  
"Almost like mom used to make," Sidonis agreed, nearly done with his plate.

  
"We're lucky to have such esteemed guests," Voso remarked, entering the room with his own plate and taking a seat near Ikhatia as he gestured toward Shepard and Garrus. "I'd guess you have something to do with the high quality materials we got this time."  
"This may be Aria's way of making sure you know that she values you, without her having to actually say it," Kin explained.  
"Or padding the deal to set you up for a return later," Ikhatia pointed out, and Kin shrugged, acknowledging the possibility. Shepard looked up from her plate, brows furrowed, then looked at Garrus.  
"Which reminds me... what do we owe Aria for use of all these resources and the manpower?" she asked. Garrus's mandibles twitched and he stiffened, wishing that topic hadn't come up right then.  
"Nothing unreasonable," he stalled, putting a bite of food into his mouth.  
"I know we're to keep control of the base and the ship we confiscated," Dhovile offered.  
"Hm. I know better than to wonder what she'll do with it," Shepard said, shuddering slightly.

  
"If that's all, you got off pretty easy," Calivia said. "Aria loves to make things personal with personal favors, and you two would be excellent people to have owing you one."  
Garrus pretended to be busy with his food and Shepard narrowed her eyes in his direction.  
"Garrus..." she muttered expectantly. His mandibles twitched as everyone looked towards him and waited for his response. Slowly, he met her gaze.   
"...we may each owe her a favor," he confessed, trying to keep his tone casual.   
"There it is," Sidonis sighed.  
"Each?!" Shepard repeated, her brows furrowing.  
"You get to say no if she comes to you with something you don't want to do," Garrus said, quickly offering the disclaimer. Most of the Egacress crew exchanged satisfied looks, appearing to find that rather fair.  
"Do you as well?" Shepard asked.  
"...well, I... don't think I specified that," Garrus admitted, clearing his throat. Shepard sighed heavily and looked away.  
"Alright. I'm not happy about it," she said quietly, "but I know you did what you felt you needed to."

  
Before Garrus could respond, Milolea approached the group with a platter of various drinks.  
"Time to make things a little more interesting," she announced, placing the tray on the table between them and grabbing one for herself before taking a seat near Sidonis, who scooted over to allow her more space.  
"She says that every time she makes the drinks," Kin explained with a smirk.  
"And do they not always get interesting?" Milolea retorted with a smirk of her own.  
"You don't happen to have any sancso?" Sidonis asked, looking over the mixtures.  
"No, but I think you'll enjoy the neon one on the left," she winked.  
"Careful," Calivia warned playfully. "Milo's drink recommendations are like a roulette when she's the mixer. It's like a sport for her." Sidonis looked at Calivia, then Milolea, then down at the drink.

  
"Well." He shrugged, picked up the neon one and took a respectable swig. His mandibles twitched erratically as he reacted to the taste. "That's... unique." Milolea snickered into her own glass. Ikhatia picked a half-full glass of dark blue liquid and Kin quickly threw back a bubbly shot of something a pale orange color. As Calivia and Dhovile chose theirs, two were left for Shepard and Garrus. One was a purple so dark it was nearly black and the other a shallow glass the color of human blood.  
"Those two were always yours," Milolea said proudly.  
"Shall we?" Garrus asked hesitantly, looking to Shepard. "How's your head?"  
"Fine, I guess..." she replied, contemplating the offer. She turned her head towards the bar where Chakwas and Mordin were conversing with Zipal, Sayrloc, and Dhern. Each of them also had various drinks in hand. "Hey Chakwas, am I allowed to be drinking?" Shepard asked.  
"Only if you want to. Just one, and carefully," Chakwas said sternly. "Garrus, keep an eye on her."  
"I always am," Garrus assured the doctor, grinning at Shepard.

  
"Officially cleared for booze," Shepard chuckled. "I guess that's something to celebrate. Hand me the tall one." She watched Milolea for any cues.  
"Go slow," was all she said.  
So, Shepard took a small sip. The flavor was mild, almost like coconut, but it was hard to identify over the electric feeling traveling up to her nose and down her throat. The drink wasn't fizzy at all and it didn't exactly feel like carbonation, but something caused tingling as if her face was going numb.  
"Geez!" she exclaimed, squeezing her eyes shut. "That's intense!"  
"Your subsequent sips won't be as extreme," Milolea assured her.  
"Good," she replied. Garrus took a drink of the last one left, and looked underwhelmed.  
"I feel like I just drank a flower," he said with a shrug. Sidonis laughed a little too loudly, already thoroughly relaxing in his seat, and Milolea chuckled at him.

  
"Alright, I think it's time for some mission stories," Voso announced.  
"Looks like Sidonis should probably start before he melts into a puddle," Shepard teased. Sidonis started to gesture as if shooing the idea away.  
"Oh, I don't know if--"  
"The seduction attempt," Garrus interrupted casually. Sidonis shot up straight.  
"Spirits, you can't be--"  
"The asari and turian you had to break up to cause the power struggle," Garrus continued.  
"Spirits, no--"  
"You had to seduce an asari?" Kin jumped in, eyes wide with amusement.  
"I'm not--"  
"No, the turian. She was female," Garrus answered Kin.  
"Garrus, dont--"  
"You had to seduce someone away from an asari? That's even worse!" Kin laughed, then added, "No offense."  
"None taken, but really--"  
"That's okay, Sidonis. Not everyone can be as irresistible as me." Garrus nonchalantly leaned back, lifting his arm and placing it over Shepard's shoulders, his eyes bright with the challenge and smugness. Shepard laughed but conceded with a shrug. For a moment Sidonis balked, and Kin and Milolea both looked like they were working hard not to laugh.

  
"...maybe not, but it worked, didn't it?" Sidonis grumbled.  
"Did it?" Milolea jumped in, adding to the pressure. Garrus gestured for Sidonis to continue and got glared daggers in response.  
"...fine!" Sidonis exclaimed, his mandibles flaring. "Spirits, I've forgotten how easy it is for you to make someone break."  
"That was rather impressive," Shepard agreed, laughing at Garrus's smug expression. "Apparently I've not been utilizing you to your fullest potential."  
"Let's talk about that later," Garrus replied. "Now it's Sidonis's turn to share."  
Knowing he had no choice, Sidonis began to more properly frame up the scenario and then dove in. Despite his initial protests, he was a rather captivating story teller, and everyone was entertained. Even Dhern, who came in shortly after Sidonis began, was caught chuckling.

  
Afterwards, Sayrloc couldn't resist and joined them to tell of a mission involving a competing smuggling organization that ended up being a bizarre cult. Shepard told the brief story of the "biotic god" volus high on red sand, and Kin talked about getting dishonorably released from commando service for a rather elite Thessian official. Eventually, the curiosity turned back to Shepard.  
"I'd be kicking myself later if I didn't take advantage of the opportunity to hear about raising the Collector base," Dhovile prompted.  
"I get that," Shepard replied with a sigh. "But I actually think Garrus should tell that one."  
"Me?" Garrus said, sounding unsure as he looked at her.  
"Yes, you. You were by my side for nearly the whole thing," she pointed out.  
"Nearly?" Kin questioned.  
"...she left me behind for the last push," Garrus explained quietly, his eyes resting on Shepard as she looked away. "Said the crew would need me more than she would if she didn't make it." There was a long pause as they all considered that.

  
"Did you not expect to make it out?" Voso eventually asked.  
"I was prepared not to," Shepard told him, her jaw set.  
"I think some part of me knew you would survive by the time we'd made it that far without losing a single crewmember," Garrus admitted.  
"How big was your squad?" Dhovile asked.  
"All hands on deck," Shepard said simply.  
"The entire crew was at stake, even Chakwas," Garrus explained. "The Collectors had raided the Normandy before we made our assault."  
"I've had a long career and that is far and above the most terrifying experience I've ever had," Chakwas admitted from the bar, looking deep into her drink.  
"Wait... you got boarded and the whole crew was abducted?" Kin asked, her brows furrowing. "And still didn't lose a crewmember? Goddess, Shepard, you're... unstoppable."  
"Everybody played their part, even those who weren't meant to be active parts of that mission," Shepard replied, honoring her crew even though very few of them were there to hear it. "And I'm not just saying that to be charming."

  
"So where were you when the Collectors boarded?" Dhovile asked. Shepard just looked to Garrus and he took his cue, beginning with what he knew of Joker's experience while the Normandy was raided. Shepard watched Dhovile's crew being amazed at what Joker managed to do and realized he would probably have a lot more fans if he talked about the experience more, but she understood why he didn't.

  
Garrus went through what it was like on the other side of the relay, the Oculus, arriving on the base and rescuing the crew. Mordin had been the escort back to the Normandy for them so he chimed in for that part as well. Chakwas mentioned what a way to die it almost was and finished off more of her drink, otherwise remaining silent.  
Eventually, Garrus got to the point where Shepard assigned him to stay behind and hold the front as she advanced. He'd had so little time to protest and she shut him down almost instantly when he did. At that point there was no room for anything other than Commander and crew and mission objectives.  
There wasn't much to say about it, but Shepard could see the way his mandibles twitched and hands formed fists as he talked. His body was stiff beside her. He still didn't like it, but he knew how to accept it. Shepard shifted uncomfortably then picked up from there with details of the final battle and the rush to escape.

  
"I saw you make that jump and I still don't know how you made it," Garrus commented, shaking his head. Shepard just shrugged and looked down at her lap.  
"It was the kind of thing that would make a believer out of someone, so to speak. Spirits that have passed influencing the lives of the living," Mordin commented.  
"And that place was filled with the bodies of those who had passed," Chakwas acknowledged.  
"But you don't have religious views, right, Mordin?" Garrus asked. "How do spirits fit in with your science?"  
"Spirits are science. Moreso than religion. Spirits are energy. Energy is everywhere," Mordin clarified matter-of-factly.  
"I know you're right," Ikhatia said with a shudder, "but it creeps me out if I think about it like that."  
"Same," Sidonis admitted, while a few others nodded in agreement.

  
"We had a moment like that... the divine intervention kind of thing, with Dhern and I on Altahe," Dhovile began.  
"The rockslide!" Sayrloc confirmed, nodding enthusiastically. "We almost didn't bother to look for your bodies, we were so sure you were dead."  
"Your turn, Dhovile," Shepard said, officially passing the baton as she adjusted to let Garrus lean back in the seat again. He placed his arm over the back of the chair, over her shoulders, and looked to her as if making sure she still felt comfortable socializing. She patted his hand near her shoulder, reassuring him, and then listened to Dhovile explaining their mission on Altahe.

  
As the gathering went on, several more stories were told from all around, even breaking into smaller groups once more. Shepard had, at one point, gotten up to wander and mingle and Garrus remained her shadow. When she teased him about it he simply shrugged and muttered something about turian loyalty and instincts.  
Eventually Shepard found herself feeling guilty for enjoying the company there while a majority of the Normandy crew had barely received any contact from her. Several hours had passed when she gave the signal to Garrus and they dismissed themselves, letting Dhovile know they'd be coordinating their departure soon.

  
"I think I need a nap," Shepard admitted as they entered the elevator on the way to their room, "but then we're going back to the Normandy." Garrus gave her a look, about to question if she was sure, but he could see it on her face. Her jaw was set and her eyes determined. She had made up her mind, and she was ready.  
"Aye, Shepard."  
"'Aye'?" Shepard repeated, raising a brow at his formal word choice.  
"It was a reflex, you were wearing your Commander face," Garrus replied, rubbing the back of his neck.  
"Oh," she said, frowning a little. It wasn't ever really a conscious thing, but she knew it happened. Sometimes the Commander role came first, like it had on the Collector Base mission.

  
"...I didn't keep you with the rest of the crew on the Collector Base purely based on my assessment as Commander," she announced suddenly as the elevator doors opened. She exited and let Garrus follow.  
"No?" She could hear the confusion in his voice, but she didn't turn.  
"Though it's true they needed you," she began, "I was cutting ties with Cerberus. The Alliance didn't know what to do with me, and neither did the Council. I didn't know what would come next after that mission."  
They reached the door to their room and Shepard paused, turning to face him and smiling.  
"I needed something to jump back to."

  
Understanding slowly became evident on Garrus's face, and his shoulders relaxed and he looked down and gave a small chuckle.  
"I was a new discovery," he stated.  
"That's putting it mildly and giving you far less credit than you deserve," Shepard said firmly. "But yes." Garrus's mandibles twitched as he considered this, then he smiled.  
"I see," he said, stepping closer and opening the door for Shepard. "Well I'm glad you've chosen to see the adventure out this far."  
Shepard chuckled as she stepped inside. "I assure you, you've over-delivered."


	15. Home

Departing the Egacress was fairly unceremonious. A few of Dhovile's team nodded in their direction as the Normandy crew made their way to the hangar where a shuttle was waiting. Dhovile, Kin, Jenil, Helfinne and Tullvius were the ones who chose to officially see them off, as well as Sidonis, who planned on disembarking with one of the groups on the Citadel.  
"I don't know what I'm doing next, but I figure I can do it there just as well as anywhere," he had said with a shrug.  
Jenil acted like Shepard's best friend, giving farewells as though she were going away on vacation. Shepard was smiling a lot with her. Kin was slightly more formal, her deep respect for Shepard evident. Kin even expressed quite a bit of respect for Garrus and Sidonis as they chatted briefly. Helfinne offered both Garrus and Sidonis a heartfelt thank you once more. Tullvius was much less socially adept, but offered the two turians a firm handshake in recognition of their part in his rescue. Dhovile was there half motivated by respect and half motivated by duty, overseeing the official comings and goings of her ship and ultimately, fulfillment of the assignment.

  
Tali, Grunt, and Joker met the returning crew in the hangar of the Normandy. Tali and Joker seemed thrilled to see Shepard, and Grunt simply looked at Garrus and asked, "Is he dead?" Upon receiving a nod, he finished, "Good."  
Outside of that question, none of the Normandy crew mentioned Upholder or what Shepard experienced, even as many of them gathered in the lounge, coming and going for hours, like a "welcome home" open house party. She watched their faces as a few of them looked over the fading bruises on her neck and face. At this point they didn't look much more severe than some other battle wounds she'd returned with. Still, every time she saw them realize someone had attempted to strangle her, she felt her chest tighten and it became difficult to breathe. It was easier to manage on the Egacress, but on the Normandy her instinct to be in command fought back against the vulnerability and made it worse.  
Garrus stayed as close to her as he had on the Egacress and it didn't take long for him to notice the moments Shepard's body became stiff, the subtle concave of her chest. He'd place his hand on her back between her shoulders and take a deep breath himself to remind her. Sometimes he'd strike up a new conversation to divert attention from her long enough to let her catch her breath, or just put his head next to hers. It was slightly more intimate than they were used to being in front of the squad, but Shepard needed it and wasn't about to protest.

  
After probably a bit too much socializing, Shepard was eager to get to her cabin. The brightness of the lights grew in response to her entrance and she smiled. Coming back this time felt almost as good as when she first received the SR-2 from Cerberus. She took a deep breath in and observed the seemingly content fish as she walked into the living area, choosing to ignore her terminal for now.  
Garrus took a seat on the couch as she found a fresh water bottle and downed half of it.  
"I got a message from Sidonis."  
"So soon?" Shepard drank the other half and then laid next to Garrus with her head on his leg.  
"It seems a representative of the Shadow Broker reached out to him and offered an opportunity. He asked if I know anything about that," he explained with a smirk.  
"Do you?" Shepard laughed, raising a brow.  
"I didn't make any suggestions to Liara, no," he replied. "I wont give anything away, but I'm going to encourage him to follow through."

  
"Is that something you think he'd do well with?"  
"He wouldn't be my first or even second pick for specialized combat situations," Garrus said, tilting his head. "But recon? He's an excellent observer. He would catch things everyone else would miss. And he's surprisingly adept in most social situations where he's not being himself. You wouldn't think it, but when it matters, he can insert himself into many positions and improvise rather effectively."  
"Yeah, I kinda got that from the seduction story," Shepard snickered. "Maybe someday he'll be as smooth as you?"  
"I wouldn't go that far," Garrus scoffed. Shepard laughed again and then they fell into a comfortable silence. Shepard's eyes were closed and Garrus watched her face, unable to keep a low rumble from purring within him. As she smiled in response, his mandibles twitched and he trailed his fingers up and down her arm.

  
"...what's on your mind?" Shepard eventually asked.  
"How did you know?" Garrus sighed.  
"I just know you," she replied, opening one eye and then closing it again. "Spit it out." There was a pause but Shepard was patient.  
"I've been thinking about the vorcha pyros and your concussion," he eventually admitted.  
Right away Shepard was frowning. She sat up, keeping her back to him as she rolled her shoulders.  
"What about all that?"  
"Before we went to Saefos you told me to start getting presumptuous about how much you care about me," he began, bracing himself as he pushed ahead, but doing his best to keep his posture relaxed. "On the Egacress you said I'm the reason you jumped towards your future, and also that I over delivered. When faced with vorcha pyros you chose to risk yourself and in Saefos you said you didn't know what to do when life gets so good. Apparently I've somehow been such a good boyfriend that I've become a bad one and you went from jumping towards me to blowing yourself up."

  
Shepard turned to face him, her brows deeply furrowed and annoyance clear on her face.  
"That has nothing to do with you being a good or bad boyfriend," she snapped, not allowing herself to be disarmed by his gentle and stalwart expression.  
"Maybe not, but it does have to do with how much ease and happiness you think you deserve, and apparently sometime between the start of our relationship and now, something has tipped the scales," Garrus replied, not backing down. He leaned forward in his seat but didn't crowd her. "Military of any kind are trained to expect the worst, Shepard. But you can stop asking for it. I'm going to take care of you the way I take care of you regardless of whether you feel you deserve it or not."  
"...is that the point you wanted to make?" Shepard asked curtly, crossing her arms. "I don't like it when you act like you know my own head more than me."  
"I'm just making guesses, but at C-Sec I was a professional guesser." He couldn't help exaggerating the charm and he saw Shepard fight to hold back a smile as she scoffed then bit her lip. He leaned back again, relaxing and casually looking away.

  
"Look in your wardrobe. The point I want to make is in there."  
Shepard glared at him a moment longer, but he ignored it. She almost didn't want to investigate; he was already acting so smug. But, her curiosity beat out her stubbornness and she stood up, walked to her wardrobe, and opened it. She sucked in a breath in pleasant surprise.  
Looking perfectly primped and ready was her red dress from Saefos. Even the necklace and shoes she wore were there, in their proper place. And, on the shelf next to them, was a brand new helmet, familiar in style.  
Shepard grasped the side of the dress with one hand, remembering the flowy material. Her other hand briefly looked over the necklace; she had forgotten it's intricate design. Then she picked up the helmet and turned it over in her hands, examining the pristine condition. The welcome weight of armor seemed to help ground her tremendously. That was where she felt safest. But as she looked back to dress, she began to imagine that perhaps that could be safe too...

  
"I invite you to stop analyzing your life and just live it," Garrus said from behind her, his tone still relaxed. "Whatever that looks like, I'm here for it."  
Shepard took in a deep, cleansing breath, fighting back to urge to wonder what she ever did to deserve Garrus Vakarian. She placed the helmet back onto the shelf, brushed her hand over the dress one more time, then turned to face him.  
"I don't know what to say," she admitted, chuckling as she shrugged. "You already know how amazing you are..."  
"Yeah, well, you can still tell me," Garrus pointed out, grinning.  
"Well clearly you're humble," Shepard quickly offered, and he laughed. She began slowly walking towards him. "You're my best gun, my best support, my best friend. You think of things I wouldn't, so I don't have to. You're always willing to listen and do the hard work to keep me safe... you're making every other boyfriend in the world look bad." She stopped, standing in front of him.  
"Come to think of it, are all turian boyfriends like this?" she teased. Garrus shot out of his seat, their bodies suddenly close. He placed one hand on the side of her neck.  
"You will never find out," he purred. Shepard laughed.

  
"You make it seem so easy to be this amazing."  
"Hah, uh... didn't you know that's what I'm thinking about you every single day?" he chuckled, tilting his head quizzically.  
"Hmm, well..." Shepard closed the gap between them, wrapping her arms around his neck and wearing a smirk. "Maybe we should stop analyzing our love and just make it."  
"Oh, wow," Garrus laughed, then cleared his throat. "Why didn't I think of that one?"  
"Hey, if I got you into bed I must have some witty lines," she replied, raising her chin proudly. "I just don't use them very often."  
"You don't have to," he said gruffly, and for a moment the two of them breathed deep as they enjoyed the pressure of the other's body against their own.

  
"...there's one more thing I want to say," Garrus said, suddenly speaking up just as Shepard had been about to pounce on him.  
"Yes?" she asked, biting her lip as she told herself to be patient.  
"I know I said I don't know how to function when I think about what was done to you," he began. He felt Shepard stiffen and ran a hand through her hair to encourage her to stay relaxed. "...and that's still mostly true, but I've realized there have been times in my C-Sec days that I've run into people who have been through similar things, though usually in less extreme circumstances... I remember now what recovery was like for some of them. I know you may be feeling... vulnerable, and... I just want you to know, I'll follow your lead."

  
"Mmm..." Shepard smiled softly, letting herself melt into his touch. Even as she leaned further into him, he supported them both. She felt the familiar, affectionate rumble in his chest.  
"Garrus, with you, vulnerability doesn't feel so vulnerable. It doesn't feel weak, or scary. It feels like... home."  
"Well, that's awfully convenient then," he replied matter-of-factly.  
"...convenient?" Shepard ducked her head back to raise a brow at the underwhelming descriptor and tone.  
"Yes." Garrus's grin was sly, undeterred by her skepticism. "That way, whether you're looking for a domestic breakfast in bed, an efficient raid on a gang's HQ, an upscale dinner in an unfamiliar city, or a white knight to save you from the pain... you'll never be far from home." He watched that soft smile return to Shepard's lips and rested his forehead against hers.  
"Mmm. What if I'm looking for a lover to make my toes curl?" she asked. The rumbling in Garrus's chest deepened and he held her tighter, bringing his face close to her ear as she giggled.  
"Coming right up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End!
> 
> Thanks for everyone who's taken the time to read all this; I really appreciate it! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. This is my first finished work that had several chapters so I'm pretty excited to have reached that milestone. I'm not sure exactly what shape future works will take, but I've got some ideas, so thanks for being here! <3


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